once again.. just like in november.. i am reminded of my worth... id like to think that i'm important.. that may sound very conceited.. but deep down inside.. everybody wishes they were important.. at least to some ppl..

in my case.. apparently.. i'm not important to a hell of a lot of ppl.. ud think that friends would care for u.. be there to support you..

but when it all comes down to one thing.. ur put at the very back of the list of importance.. second last.. if not dead last...

and the thing is.. you dun even ask a lot of them.. one simple lil thing.. take a lil time out of their lives... and that much.. ur not even important enough for.. sad really...

and depressing.. to kno.. that ur worth nothing... ur not important.. they dun care enough...

and it makes you wonder.. is it something i did.. or somethign about me that makes me not important?? am i a horrible person that nobody wants to befriend?? am i a loser?? is that why nobody cares??

for some ppl .. this is simply a phase.. that goes away...

for me.. it seems like it occurs over and over again.. with same ppl.. with different ppl.. its like i seem to attract them or something.. over and over again.. it happens to me.. i dun kno what i did to deserve anything of this..

its not even that i'm asking a lot out of anybody.. be there.. support me.. care for me.. id do the same for you.. so why can't they do it for me??

yes.. that does sound conceited.. but its only fair.. the amount of times that ive cared and been there for them... i'm askin for one time.. and i can't even have that..

i wish this was somethin i could just decide to get over.. like other thigns in my life..but i can't.. i find myself in tears about this time and time again... and i kno these tears will continue to be shed over and over again.. and there isn't a single thing i can do... and that suxs most of all

if it was a problem that i could fix and it would go away.. my life would be so much easier.. but the fact that it isn't.. kills me.... both mentally, physically, and emotionally...

one of these days.. i'll have reached the edge.. and i wont kno where to go from there.. or if there even is anywhere to go from there.. i dunno when that day will be.. but at this rate.. it'll be soon..


and that'd be the end

of me