aaah.. i hate this looking for a place to live stuff.. so confusing.. u can never find the perfect place.. i found one place.. it was really good.. close.. nice apartment.. pretty big for one bedroom.. really cheap.. like $450 all inclusive.. hydro and cable too.. only thing to pay for is internet.. amazing.. balcony too.. best thing!!!

NICE BIG CLOSET!!!

hehe.. all my clothes.. ha!

stupid thing is.. the guy's lease thing.. is for 12 months.. and i am not going to be here from may to august.. and i dun feel like paying $450 each months.. thats like $2000 bucks!!!! no way!!! and i can't sublet it.. the guy wont let me.. if i could sublet it.. i would.. and im pretty sure someone would take it... the place is amazing.. URGH!!!!

now i gotta keep lookin.. so far.. only a few places look good.. the best is a loft downtown.. its pretty good.. but kinda far.. gotta keep looking....

Countdown to the rest of the semester

2 days till: my 2nd psyc midterm
11 days till: Music Therapy Student Association Conference
13 days till: Session Planning Assignment
22 days till: Song Leading Assignment
25 days till: Wind Ensemble "Lord of the Rings" Concert = 3pm @ Capitol
29 days till: Service Learning Presentation
35 days till: My Basic Skills Final Exam @ 12pm
: My Music Therapy Final Exam@ 830am
37 days till: Oboe Jury @ 2:15 pm
: Psyc Final Exam @4pm
38 days till: Theory Final Exam
: I move out of Residence
47 days till: Wind Ensemble Tour = 1 whole week
78 days till: WLU Windfest Chamber Music Workshop = 20 days
99 days till: I board my plane to HK

100 days till: I"M in HK!!!!

122 days till: I start teaching English in HK

142 days till: I go to VANCOUVER!!! visit all my buds!!

146 days till: I return to Toronto from Vancouver

153 days till: 2nd year of uni begins!!!!!!

BLUE You give your love and friendship unconditionaly. You enjoy long, thoughtful conversations rich in philosophy and spirituality. You are very loyal and intuitive. Find out your color at Quiz Me!

is it really that hard to get someone out of ur head??

i mean.. ive never really had that big of a problem with it.. ever

and it took me at the most 1 month?? i guess.. i dun really even kno for sure.. never kept track...

but ... i find it harder & harder to forget...

reading week.. i dreaded going back.. cuz i'd have to see you.. and even tho i knew seeing you would help me get thru it..the feelings go away.. i still didn't want to.. and i tried my hardest to avoid confrontation..

and i guess my hard work paid off.. cuz i never did see you.. for many reasons.. laziness.. weather.. to name a few...

instead of seeing u for the short week.. i ended up talking to u .. more often than i have in the last 3 4 weeks.. and i guess that mite be the problem.. without having heard from u.. or seen u... for such a long time..i kinda started to forget about u..

and then the sudden dreading of having to see u set in.. and all of a sudden talking to u once again.. it bought the feelings back out..

i told myself to forget.. to not put some thought into it..b/c i knew there was nothing there.. nothing to beginning with.. and nothign there now...

but why couldn't i get u out of my head?

as i sit here.. trying to figure out my thoughts.. i dun even know where we are.. friends?? more than friends?? or not even friends??

i mean .. we use to be friends.. but our relationship has sorta gone in the ditch.. dun talk so much anymore.. dun hang out no more..so where are we??

i dun even kno where exactly i stand in this whole situation.. where do i want to be?? do i want to move on?? do i want to stay where i am??

i wish i knew.. that way.. i wouldn't have to think about it..

i can pretty much sum up how stupid i am.. in one sentence.

i forgot that i had a midterm and an assignment due this week!!!!


completely forgot!!! like completely!!! didn't no anythign all reading week.. and now

am SUFFERING!!!!!

aaah!!!!

4 hours of sleep!! woohoo.. i'm gonna die b4 the end of this week..

wish me luck everybody!!

aah.. my reading week has passed by really quickly..

today is saturday already..

i'm going in tommorow.. and honestly ...

i haven't done much this week.. really i haven't...

friday: went to london to get jo.. and then took train back home

saturday: hung out at home for the day.. picked up sammie and fre...went to pneumatos.. and then went to congee wong with ppl afterwards

sunday: went to jap food with jo and cyrus

monday: can't remember what i did this day.. if i even did anythign..

tuesday: hung out at home.. went to jo's.. watched Lost in Translation with her, sam, si, and some guy named enoch

wednesday: went down to baycrest for my observation.. got jo.. went shopping down on queen street.. got some oboe/EH stuff...and then pj's house for some ladies chat thing with betty

my observation.. was amazing! just plain amazing!!

thursday: went to lunch with bunch of cds'ers... shay.. frankie.. rogers.. elise.. d.. james and gf.. then back to cds.. visited.. sat in for band.. haha.. i'm a loser.. yes.. i kno

friday: went with mom to go to chiro's... ouchy... i forgot how much it hurt.. picked up brother.. went to jo's.. we WERE suppose to go see the passion.. but jo and si and jer.. quickly reminded how i didn't like to hang out with them.. so unorganized.. and so ma fan.... Urgh!!! but i still luv them... so then went to jap food with mom and bro and dad.. yummi.. :P and then desserts.. woohoo..

sat: today.. chillin out with d.. lunch and movie and something like that

sun: wake up.. pack.. lunch.. leave


and that will be the end of my reading week.. really haven't done much..

all i can say is this:



I'm HOMe!!


luving it!!!

My inner child is ten years old!

The adult world is pretty irrelevant to me. Whether
I'm off on my bicycle (or pony) exploring, lost
in a good book, or giggling with my best
friend, I live in a world apart, one full of
adventure and wonder and other stuff adults
don't understand.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

3 days
till i officially fail my theory midtem

i swear to god.. i dun kno anything that is on it.. urgh!!! and i dun get it.. i'm trying 2 catch up.. but dun get it!! URGH~!!!

Praise & Worship Nite

was really really good!!! even tho we didn't have much time to prep for it.. it was amazing.. at least i thought so.. well and a few other ppl too..

WE Concert

was amazing.. Trevor Pittman was OMG!!!!!! he played so amazingly!!! AAAH!!!! and the rest of the WE was amazing too!!!! yeah!!! even tho i screwed up one of my solos.. buts thats ok

Miranda??

didn't happen.. she didn't come down.. which totally suxed... but thats ok.. i can take my revenge on her when i go home for reading week!!!

Reading Week

i'm leaving on friday!!! FRIDAY!!!! so soon.. yet so far away.... :( can't wait!!!! can't wait!! Jap FOOD w/jo !!!!! Good Homemade chinese food!!!!! Movies!!! Hanging out with friends!! no Work!!! WOHOOO!!!

Theory Midterm
so utterly and completely screwed for that.. i have no idea what the heck i'm doing in theory.. this stupid choral harmony analysis crap.. aaah!!!!

thats all i gotta say.. short but straight to the point

Countdown:

1 day till: Praise & Worship Nite at WCBC
2 days till: Miranda comes to visit me in windsor
3 days till: U of Windsor Wind Ensemble Concert @ Capitol Theatre 3 pm
5 days till:I become a psyc research lab rat
8 days till: My Very 1st Music Therapy Observation!!! :) WEEE!!!
9 days till: Theory Midterm
: I go to London to pick up JO
: I go HOME!!!!
11 days till: Reading Week officially starts!!!
13 days till: My very first 2nd Music Therapy observation!!! :) WEEE!!
19 days till: my observation assignment is due
21 days till: my music therapy midterm
29 days till: my 2nd psyc midterm
62 days till: My Basic Skills Final Exam @ 12pm
: My Music Therapy Final Exam@ 830am
64 days till: Psyc Final Exam @4pm
65 days till: Theory Final Exam
: DONE FIRST YEAR!!!!

now as i look at the list.. my first year of uni is gonna be over really soon.. this year has gone by really really quickly.. i mean.. it was only a year ago.. that i started worrying about uni.. and whether i would get in or not.. and now.. aproximately 365 days later.. i'm sitting here.. about to finish my first year.. WOW!!! time goes by really quickly... and lots have happening in the time that has passed by

1)i'm no longer the boy-crazy .. boy-obsessed girl that i always was.. i mean... i still like guys.. dun get me wrong.. but it no longer a priority for me.. all thru high skewl.. i worried so much about bf's.. about whether i'd have one.. about whether he was the rite one.. about whether we should be together.. and every single lil thing u could associate with having a bf.. and i worried so much about it in hs... i dunno even kno why.. cuz as i look back.. i never had a single good relationship with any of them.. they all ended horrificly... and why did i spend so much on it.. when in the end.. it didn't make a difference.. so now..i'm concentrating on more importants things.. skewl.. friends.. family.. my future.. and if i meet a guy.. and things seem rite.. sure i'll take the opportunity.. but if there are no opportunities.. i'm ok with that too..

2)everybody seems to think that i've kinda matured.. even in the first 3 weeks of university.. when i first went home.. first thing Dez said to me.. was ur different.. uve matured.. no longer the cute kiddish lil Sindy.. and i dunno really if thats true.. i haven't noticed anything.....

3)spiritually... i've grown a bit.. a lil bit.. at least.. i'll actually go on sundays and friday.. w/o muttering and complaining..
there are still a lot of questions that need to be answered.. and problems to be solved.. but i'll get there eventually.. i hope.. this much is for sure.. i no longer repel the faith.. i no longer hate it.. i've acccepted it.. and will go from there

4) emotionally.. for me this year.. has been hard.. with everything around me.. changing.. and all my friends changing.. and the environment changing.. its been hard for me to keep up.... and i've often been in the background.. looking as everybody and everything changed.. and i didn't want that.. i really didn't.. i wanted things to be exactly the same.. and i couldn't bear to see it changed.. so many a times.. i found myself feeling lonely and in tears.. i didn't wanna grow up.. i didn't want to lose my friends.. i didn't want to change.. and I still dont.. but ive learned that no matter how much i cry or how much im not happy it.. things will change.. i just have to learn to accept and adapt.. thats all there is to do..

so i guess.. this year has passed by quickly.. but i've learned quite a # of things.. and i'm sure there is still lots more to learn.. before the end of this semester is over...

woohoo.. i have a page.. My Site its majorly under construction!!! hehe.. as u can see probably.. but i finally figured out some stuff.. so its in the works.. just have to do some more figuring out.. but


MAD PROPS SI!!!
he helped me fix some stuff !!! woohoo SI!!!

yeah.. very excited.. now all i need to do.. is befriend some nerdy comp sci major who is amazing at html.. so he can teach me how to do thigns..then I"M SET!!! woohoo!!!

If you're chinese.. your suppose to be the following:


CHINESE - chinks (derived from Chinese)

You speak loudly even if you`re only one foot away. - I dunt speak loudly .. do i ??

You’re cheap and ridiculously tight with your money. - me cheap?? yeah rite

Your parents speak to you in Chinese and speak English with an accent if they speak it at all. - very true

Your skin is oily and you`ve had a history with pimples because of the greasy food you eat. - my skin is oily. but never really had a zit problem

You’re a terrible driver. - Ha! definetly!! rite jo?

You have the furniture in your house in funky, illogical placesbecause your mom is superstitious. - mom is not superstitious

You love to eat at Chinese "cafe`s" and drink boba. - wats boba>??

You’re inherently rude, by culture. - i dun think i'm rude

Your kitchen smells like sesame oil and your bedroom smells like tiger balm. - nope.. neither one

You stick to your "own kind", having few (if any) friends outside the Chinese race. - i have a mixture...of ALL races

You or someone you know has the American name David, Danny, Peter, Steve, Kenny, Jenny, Winnie, Wendy, Suzy, Lucy or Linda (unless your parents thought they were creative by naming you Johnson, Jackson, or Emerson). - I kno ppl..yes..but i am a lucky creative one.. hehe .. not a lot of chinese ppl named Sindy.. WITH a SSSSSS

You have a relative that has a long pinky nail and a mole with a long hair growing out of it. - NOPE

You eat chicken’s feet, and eggs that are so rotten they are black (1000 year old egg). - They're not rotten eggs!! PRESERVED!!!.. and they're really good

You are hairless (male or female). - i have a whole head of hair!

It`s guaranteed that either you or your parents have some ugly red tassle thing dangling from your car`s review mirror.

-nope

now..how exactly am i 60-70% stereotypical?? half of those question.. dont even apply to me!!!

thought for the day... am i really?




Click here to see if you`re a "Stereotypical Asian" yourself! -

once again.. just like in november.. i am reminded of my worth... id like to think that i'm important.. that may sound very conceited.. but deep down inside.. everybody wishes they were important.. at least to some ppl..

in my case.. apparently.. i'm not important to a hell of a lot of ppl.. ud think that friends would care for u.. be there to support you..

but when it all comes down to one thing.. ur put at the very back of the list of importance.. second last.. if not dead last...

and the thing is.. you dun even ask a lot of them.. one simple lil thing.. take a lil time out of their lives... and that much.. ur not even important enough for.. sad really...

and depressing.. to kno.. that ur worth nothing... ur not important.. they dun care enough...

and it makes you wonder.. is it something i did.. or somethign about me that makes me not important?? am i a horrible person that nobody wants to befriend?? am i a loser?? is that why nobody cares??

for some ppl .. this is simply a phase.. that goes away...

for me.. it seems like it occurs over and over again.. with same ppl.. with different ppl.. its like i seem to attract them or something.. over and over again.. it happens to me.. i dun kno what i did to deserve anything of this..

its not even that i'm asking a lot out of anybody.. be there.. support me.. care for me.. id do the same for you.. so why can't they do it for me??

yes.. that does sound conceited.. but its only fair.. the amount of times that ive cared and been there for them... i'm askin for one time.. and i can't even have that..

i wish this was somethin i could just decide to get over.. like other thigns in my life..but i can't.. i find myself in tears about this time and time again... and i kno these tears will continue to be shed over and over again.. and there isn't a single thing i can do... and that suxs most of all

if it was a problem that i could fix and it would go away.. my life would be so much easier.. but the fact that it isn't.. kills me.... both mentally, physically, and emotionally...

one of these days.. i'll have reached the edge.. and i wont kno where to go from there.. or if there even is anywhere to go from there.. i dunno when that day will be.. but at this rate.. it'll be soon..


and that'd be the end

of me

i've put a new layout.. altho i am by far.. the most unartsy person on earth.. i liked the format..and i decided to change it from jay chou.. kinda startin to get old of it..
so enjoy..

aaah..i'm so back into koreans!!! well at least.. korean tv. korean songs.. korean drama.. won bin!!! aah he's so hot..
















Look At those Abs!!! AAAH!
so incredibly hot!!!!!

anyhoo.. hehe


these next two weeks will be rather interesting...

this weekend..

sunday at 3pm..capitol theatre.. concerto concert.. w/windsor community orchestra.. showcasing 3 soloist from u of windsor school of music... a) Trevor -tuba b) Carla - Piano c) Jenn- clarinet d) i forget her name- Vocal

and then theres another # of students just playing with the orchestra.. me being one..

and then next weekend...

saturday at 8pm
Chrysler Theatre
Tchaikovsky - Romeo & Juliet
Windsor Symphony.. goin to hear it.. should be amazing

later saturday nite...
mom and miranda are coming into windsor

sunday at 3pm
Capitol Theatre
U of Windsor Wind Ensemble concert
- playing like 5 pieces
1) Concerto X- clarinet concerto w/ Trevor Pittman.. he's AMAZING!!!!
2) Armenian Dances I (oboe soloes throughout)
3) Vaughan Williams - Folk Song Suite (big oboe solo)
4) Rolling Thunder
5) Colonial Song - Grainger

it will be an amazing concert.. can't wait

and then rest of sunday.. is girls nite out.. me miranda and mom.. woohoo..

and then monday.. go to class till 1230... then i think..shopping in detroit.. me mom and miranda again.. they go home on monday nite i believe..

i can't wait.. i haven't had any visitors this year.. well except for chung..

he came around chinese new year on his way to visit tiff..

and i mite have another visitor later in march.. mr.marshall mite be coming.. so that'll be exciting.. haha..

aah...

i dunno.. but valentine's day coming up.. once again.. a holiday.. i INCREDIBLY hate...

in words of guy:

Valentine's Day= SAD
SAD= Singles Awareness Day

valentines day.. its a holiday that literally makes fun of all the single pl.. flaunt it in their face.. ugh!!!

i hate it .. i hate it.. i hate it..
:@

enuf for now.. stupid valentines day.. making me pissed off

on the same topic as mondi....

summer.. well maybe it wont' sux entirely..

was checkin out the laurier site.. and saw that they had something called a windfest chamber music workshop
and it mite be worthwhile.. so im gonna apply and wut not now..hopefully i'll get in.. cuz u have to audition and stuff..it'll be fun i think....

so yeah.. thats my lil blob for now... be back later

Man!! hong kong really does sux more than i thought... my plans for the summer were

1. attend summer skewl at a hong kong uni.. whether music course or a psyc course
2. work at a chinese skewl teaching..
3. celebrate grannie's 81st birthday
4. have fun
5. get to hang out in hk.. buy stuff.. go cheung k..


now.. #1 is not gonna happen.. since apparently most HK uni's dun offer summer credit courses. what the hell is up with that??? they only offer short-courses that are for fun.. not credit.. so i guess i cna't do that.. but then if i take summer skewl here in ontario.. its like from june 26 to mid august.. wut?? i can't do that.. i have to be in hk.. by mid july.. i have to teach!!! and i have to be in hk for grannie's birthday dinner!! everybody else in my family is gonna be there.. can't not be there!!!!
wut am i suppose to do now?? i have to take summer skewl!!! i need the extra course....smaller load for next year..

NOT FAIR!!! boohoo :'(

aaah.. so not kewl!!!!

and oh.. in hk... i have to find a place to pratice. can't really pratice much in the apartment.. so small and no space... and if i play.. neighbours will complain.. so that means i'll ahve to rent a studio space to pratice 3 hours a day.. i dunno where u can..a nd i'm sure it'll be mad expensive... and i have no $$$.. NONE!!!!! ugh.. how is this gonna work??

at least one good thing.. i'm pretty sure i'll have a job working in summer.. and then i'll ahve some $$.. but then it'll be half for time i spend in hk.. and half for rest of the year.. i'm hoping i'll earn about $2000 CAN??? hopefully.. i kno teaching is a pretty good job.. $$ wise..

assuming.. i work everyday .. from 9 -3.. which makes 6 hours.. and i work 5 days a week.. 30 hours a week.. and then i assume.. i make $20 an hour??? so thats like $600 a week.. and 4 weeks make about $2400.. i certainly hope so!!!!

aah...

done my ranting.. thanx!

Robot Dog

the kewlest thing ever.. take a look.. would totally work in my house.. since daddie doesn't like dogs..