and so...

It's Been Decided!


a load off my back.. WOOO!

y do i care so much?
y does it matter so much what they think?
y can't i just grow past this?
y can't i just drop everything and go?

am i being overly sensitive?
is it just me?
why does it bother me so much more than others?

would leaving make it worse or better?

i just need to get past this all.. i need to.. i have to.

i thought i had things all figured out..

but then .. i guess i don't..

i had decided that i wasn't going back to hk this summer..
but then.. i went for my interviews @ camp places for the summer.. and realized.. that it was much better $ wise to go back to hk..

so now i'm sitting here trying to figure out exactly what i should do.

PROS / CONS

Pro Hong Kong
-earn more
-get to spend time with my bro, sis, cousins, gramps
-get to hang out with my hk friends
-good job, good pay, good experience

Con Hong Kong
-spend more on stuff i don't need
-airplane tix $
-transportation, food $
-don't get to hang out with my canadian friends all summer.. missin out .. 4th year in a row
-long hours for job.. 48 hr weeks

Pro Toronto
-stay at home with mom and dad
-hang out with friends from T.O & high skewl friends
-softball :P
-less hours at work.. 40 hr weeks
-have a car to drive

Con Toronto
-stay at home with mom and dad
-much less pay

hmm. i hate having to decide.. this suxs.. urgh..

any ideas anybody?? i hate deciding..

if not to make my life only worse...

friday morning.. i officially sprained my ankle.. boo hoo.. :(

just like every nite.. had my sleeping problems... couldn't sleep..
cept friday .. i had to wake up early for an optometrist appointment.. so i ended up falling asleep friday morning at like 6.. woke up at like 9... then walk to bus stop... right by the bus stop.. had a "PK" moment and fell.. and then felt my ankle and foot really really hurt.. unable to stand on it for like an hour..

limped to see the optometrist.. and limped home.. all while in pain.. finally got an appointment at the student medical centre..

doctor's prognosis.. i've sprained my ankle.. won't heal for 3-6 weeks.. :(
i've been ordered to not walk too much.. and try and spend as much time as i can off my feet..


which is really hard.. since i'm working.. and its easter season.. which means LS is as busy as can possibly be. and i really wanna work and not stay at home.. hmm??

hopefully my ankle will heal quickly..
right now it only hurts when i'm leaning on it the wrong way or pushing all the weight on that ankle.. otherwise.. its not too bad.. i can walk but limping..

hmm.. maybe its all the Motrin ??? hey..at least it works..


on a better note... i'm gonna be spending the summer in T.O.. and i got 2 job interview this Monday & Tuesday... camp counsellor and camp activity leader sorta stuff..

which means i'm gonna be home Monday and Tuesday... gonna be hectic kidna

taking early morning train out on monday .. and back to windsor tuesday nite..

wish me luck.

i hate myself..

well i don't hate hate myself .. but i hate certain aspects of myself

MOST IMPORTANTLY... i hate how i'm always sick.. and the doctors can't seem to do shit all about it.

all my life.. been plagued with stupid health problems..

stomach problems..
eye problems..
lung problems..
broken bones & sprained body parts..
allergy & nose problems
sleeping problems..
heart problems..


frig.. name a problem .. i've prolly got it or had it at one time or another



why why why won't it just all go away for once???????????

not until recently have i realized how often people, myself included, don't pay enough attention to the things and the people around us. And majority of the time, we won't
notice until it comes down to the most crucial moment.

it makes me wonder. how many times have i not paid attention? not noticed? and by my not noticing, how many times have i made others felt lonely, upset, sad? i can't give a definete answer cause i honestly can't even count how many times. but i do know that, all those times could have been avoided if i had just not been so self-absorbed.

if i had taken the time to just say hi, taken the time to make a simple phone call, so much could been avoided. all the unhappy moments, all the tears, all the sad emotional thoughts that i may have caused others.

just in the same, i've felt that before. others have made me feel that way.. should i not have taken a hint? do unto others as u would do unto them. i kno what it feels like but yet i choose to do the same.

and now, its too late. theres nothing i can do to undo what i've done.

the only thing that i can do is to learn from my mistake and to know not to do it again.. this all, can just be a reminder to myself of what i've done wrong and what i can do to make it right again.

FRIGGIN hafta RANT!

in the last few days. i've got so pissed off at ppl around me.. i guess for some reason. all the holding it in .. i finally had to explode..

yesterday.. started good.. work 8 hrs. made over $1000 in sales.. broke my own record.. so was in a really good mood.. until like 4 pm.. my friends had wanted to go watch a movie.. i didn't really wanna but i decided to go anyway.. cuz if i didn't go .. they would not have been able to cuz i have the only car.. on tues.. thye messaged me saying they wanted to go see curious george.. and so i went to buy curious george tickets.. i called them to confirm and whatever b4hand.. they're like ok whatevewr.. 2 hours after.. thye message me saying they voted and all this shit and now they wanna go watch pink panther.. i can't change the tix now.. i'm at work.. after work .. i drove to fellowship to see what the hell is going on.. they still wanna change.. fine.. we're gonna have to leave early to exchange tix.. they all agree.
9 o'clock comes along.. and i get up to leave.. and my other friend does to.. but the other two just sit there.. even tho they kno they're suppose to leave.. and continue to sit their asses there for another 15 mins.. just because they're too scared to leave.. what the hell??

1st of all.. ur the ppl who wanted to watch the movie first.. i'm driving u guys cuz u want to go
2nd.. if ur scared to leave.. u should have said something when i told u we had to leave at 9'oclock

we finally leave and they're just so ugh.. friggin piss me off..

i luv how i feel like a fuckin driver and fuckin messenger to them all the time..
oh sindy.. can u drive me to get some groceries? oh sindy can u drive me to the bank.. oh sindy can you drive me here? and can you drive me there? oh sindy can u bring me back a superkid? can u bring me back that tub and that tub?

i swear i've bought home about 10 tubs of icecream for them.. i may get free icecream from work but that doesn't mean i should a tub home like every shift.

i just love how when they want to do something. i'm not allowed to turn them down.. and when i do cuz of good reasons.. such as i worked 8 hrs.. barely slept. and am dead tired.. they get all friggin pissed off at me.. and the odd times that i wanna go do something.. they either a) just flat out say no.. and say oh that suxs.. we don't wanna do that .. or b) say they're gonna go and they dissappear on me the last minute without so much of a "we're not coming sorry" and then when u ask them about it. they're like oh woopseee sorry..

once or twice .. i can deal with it.. not on a weekly basis.. sorry


today.. went to work again.. 6.5 hrs.. beat my record from yesterday.. $1500 in sales.. so even better mood.. until about the end of my shift.. my co-worker and i discussed about what we're each gonna do at the end of the night and what not.. she said she wanted to clean the floors and stuff .. so fine.. i'll clean the counters, and the ice-cream stuff. not a big deal.. but the whole shift.. she doesn't do anything.. just slacks off.. every two minutes .. dissappears into the back room for like 15 mins and just plays on her phone. meanwhile there is a line-up in the store..
she got hired to work ice-cream and that was it.. i got hired to do ice-cream and chocolates.. but she keeps on leaving her spot to go do stuff she shouldnt be.. and then i get yelled at by customers why it took 10 mins to get ice-cream.. frig.. she's suppose to be working there tooo. i'm going as fast as i can..

hour before closing.. she's suppose to be doing before closing cleanup in ice-cream.. she's not even in the store.. she disappears for like 20 mins to go friggin pop-corn.. i don't care that u went to go buy friggin pop-corn.. make sure ur done everythign u said ur goin to before u go.. and make sure the store isn't busy when u leave.. theres a lineup of 10 ppl waiting for icecream and 10 other ppl wanting boxes of chocolates.. there's only 3 ppl working today.. she leaves.. that leaves me and the key-holder.. we're both working off our asses.. she comes back.. and sits int he back room and continues to eat for another 10 mins.. by this time i'm frriggin exploding.

she does this every single shift.. she's lazy.. never does half the things she says she's going to.. i ended up cleaning and packing and closing the whole entire store basically by myself tonite.. only thing she does is clean the floors.. which she does while eating popcorn and dropping all the popcorn onto the floor that she just cleaned.. i had to resweep the floor after.

frig.. i hate it when ppl just slack off and shit just cuz they think they should have special treatment..

i understand that u may not be able to do certain things and thats fine .. i can do those thigns.. but go do stuff u can.. instead of dissappearing and complaining and just simply not doing shit all.

urgh!!!!!


I JUST HATE IT WHEN PPL PISS ME OFF.

normally i'm pretty good with dealing with ppl and tolerating them.. but lately. ppl piss me so much more!!! FRIG

Meet my New Love...

well not really a new love.. a renewed love..

damn.. he's so amazing.. recently i've been listening to his new album

"Heroes of Earth"
its the best cd ever!!

he incorporates chinese opera into his r&b style.. damn good!

and Yes!! it even beats November's Chopin.. hard to believe since i am the ultimate jay chou fan.. but b4 jay chou existed.. i was a wang lee hom fan

he's so talented..




he's a university classically trained violinist with a bach.degree in MA from williams (#1 liberal arts college in ALL of US), a Masters from Berklee college!! BERKLEEE!!!! i applied there and got royally rejected.. but hey thats cuz im not that good..



he plays the piano.. and is amazing at it.. he can improv like no other.

he plays the drums..




he plays the erhu.. and that thing is hard. i took lessons when i was young.. and listening to one of the songs on his new cd.. soo good.. makes me wanna play again..



he dances ( to the equiv of RAIN.. and RAIN is good)

he sings, writes his owns songs, writes his own lyrics, produces his own albums, writes music for other ppl , and acts too..

this guy is smart.. like genius smart... he got close to 1600 on his SAT's, got accepted to princeton and yale and stanford and all those ivy league skewls.. was a jock in high skewl, speaks perfect english.. (kinda has to.. grew up in NY).. and while still being just a normal guy

Oh ..and did i mention that he's hot??? oh yeah.. really really hot.. droolworthy hot



but anyhow i guess the point of this blog is...

well aside from just going goo goo and ga ga over Wang Lee Hom..

is that some ppl are just SO lucky to be so talented.. but their success and fame isn't just because their being lucky or talented.. they have to work really hard to get to where they are..

take lee hom for example.. he comes from a medical family and his family wanted him to follow in those footsteps.. but he knew what it was he wanted to do and he went and did it. it was hard for him.. lots of things he needed to learn and overcome.. but he did it and now its rewarding for him as well as every fan he has..

and i guess.. it kinda reminded me that i need to work hard to get where i want.. i need to perservere and hold in there.. kno what i want and do everything i can to get there..

i gotta work work work and not give up.. i kno i can do it if i just put my heart and soul into it.

only till recently have i noticed how annoying americans in windsor can be..

so this weekend is superbowl 40 in detroit. and being that windsor is a 2 sec walk away from detroit. and that legal gambling/ strip bar age is 18, and drinking/smoking age is 19.. all the americans from every inch of the states flocked over to windsor.. celebs included.. (paris hilton, gwen stefani, ben affleck.. to name a few)

and so every bar and restaurant within the downtown windsor and even within campus region is filled to the max with americans.. normally they're here every weekend anyway.. but they never bothered me so much..

case #1
so i was working the other day. and some stupid american comes in and tries to pay american.. which is fine cuz we take it.. but we only give back canadian change. and this guy.. despite me having told him this fact previous to his ordering his ice-cream and him nodding, totally freaks out afterwards when i hand him his CAD $.. he's like yelling at me.. saying i'm stupid n stuff.. that i should have given him US$ since he gave me US$... i couldn't help him. and so i said u can get a refund if u want.. but i can't give u US $. we don't have any.. and then he starts going on and on about how canada is stupid.. saying how we should just become the US.. and then there'd be no crap about CAD $ and US$.. and just basically insults canada and every living being in this country.. after like yelling at me and this other girl for 10 mins. he demands to see our manag. so fine.. go talk to the manag.. not gonna make a difference. and this stupid moron goes and demands that he get free stuff cuz he was "mistreated" while in our store.. what the hell?? how did we mistreat him? we took his damn ass attitude and insults for 10 mins straight without so much as a mutter.. frig.. he even said we were discriminating him cuz he was american.. WTF??? all while this is happening.. we're getting a line of like 30 pppl cuz he's holding up the line.

a) you're a retard. this is canada.. we have CAD currency not US.. we don't deal with US $
b) i told you before you ordered.. and you nodded..
c) its not my fault we don't take it.. its company policy.. as well as like every other company in the malls.
d) YOU"RE A MORON!!!! canada is a much better country.. we don't get friggin bombed every other day..
e) we're not discriminating you cuz ur american.. we're ignoring you cuz ur A F*ckin AsshOle..

damn.. made me so pissed!

case #2
me and somes friend went downtown to eat dinner & celeb sighting.. yes there are a LOT of celebs in town for superbowl.. paris hilton, ben affeck, jen garner, gwen steffani, her husband, hugh heffner, apparently jayz too... and others

so we booked a table at this restaurant.. we called ahead for reservations cuz we knew it'd be busy.. so to be safe and what not.. so we get there.. this place is crowded to the max.. we had reservations but still had to wait lke 20 mins.. whatever.. understandable.. other ppl had to wait like 1 hr

a bunch of stupid americans walk in.. demanding a table.. literally.. not being polite and asking or anything.. just walks in.. and goes table for whatever.. the host is like there's a wait of 1-1 1/2 hr.. they're like.. we're not waiting that long.. get us a table now. no way in hell is anybody gonna let them just take a table.. so ppl are like uh.. you need to wait.. we were here b4 you and we're waiting.. ur gonna hafta wait too. the americans are all like.. no we dont.. we're american. damn i hate you .. ur annoying, arrogant, cocky, assholes, and i wanna kick ur ass

so we ended up getting our table after like 20 mins.. we start eating and wut not.. the stupid ppl end up getting a table after an hour or so.. during which they decided to drink so much alcohol that they were honestly sick..

they finished about the same time as we did.. we took our time.. eatting and talking and what not.. so we're walking out the door.. and one of the stupid americans turns around from where he's sitting at the bar and literally pukes all over the floor onto one of my friends shoes.. and he just looks at her and laughs..

wtF??? u just puked on her and ur laughin.. its not funni.. ur a moron who can't hold ur liquor..


damn.. i'm not saying that all americans are bad.. i've got american friends and family.. and they're perfectly fine.. its just some of them.. mostly the ones that come over from detroit on the weekend to the windsor bars and clubs.. they think they like own the place.. picking fights. and throwing up all over the place.. urgh

there better not be those stupid ppl when i work tonite and tommorow or i'm gonna go and like run one of them over..

had quite the eventful weekend...

friday: went to work.. got some good news.. one of my co-workers is pregnant with a baby.. and i'm so proud of her.. she's being so brave :)

sat: early morning pratice.. altho had some dificulties with ppl.. was still alrite.. napped for about 5 hrs after pratice. around 630.. went out with the 2 other members of trio, plus mouse's housemate alex for chinese new year dinner at shins shins.. was suppose to be fred and val too but they backed out lastminute with some important stuff.. haha funni nite.. cuz alex for the 1st time got to see eunice's hardcore eating abilities .. some good food and good company.. and then not surprisingly, the trio ended up at the crepe place again.. haha.. why we always go there.. i really couldn't tell you... trio ended up at my place, where the horse continued to eat popcorn, grapes, apple pie, and ice-cream.. afterwards, drove her home.. called the leung family in hk.. "bai lin".. got to talk to some cousins, aunts, uncles and my grandmother..
roomate comes down to my room.. we're both bored outta our minds.. so we go out to the casino since i've never actually gone to the one here in windsor.. while in the car.. i call the ng family in hk... talked to some relations again.. but then i get some really good news!!

Laurie's getting MARRIED!!!!


laurie is one of my cousins.. so first cousin of the ng family to get married.. 2007 spring.. OMG so excited.. i LUV weddings.. i am so going back!!

hung out at casino for about 1 hr.. then went to early breakfast at like 230AM at golden griddle.. came up.. slept

sunday: woke up early for wcbc.. afterwards.. went home slept for an hour or so before working for 3.5 hrs.. busiest sunday ever.. what's up with that? we had non-stop line up of like 20 ppl straight for 2hrs!!! huh?? whats with the sudden cravings for ice-cream and chocolates?
got off at 530.. went home.. got a lil glammed up.. then picked wynne and victor, and the housemate.. and went out to "Via Italia" in windsor for dinner.. went to mezzo ristorante and lounge for dinner

place was pretty good.. i had the mixed green salad, plus the tuna.. hmm both were really good.. so sad tho.. camera was low on batts.. couldn't take pics.. then ordered desserts.. em and i both ordered the warm english souffle.. but what the hell?? the chef didn't even kno how to make a souffle.. damn.. so disappointed.. his/her souffle was flat as hell, sticky and way too overly sweet.. reminded me of a molten lava cake more than anything.. definet waste of $10. em and victor both had the lamb.. wynne had the pappardelle
aside from that.. dinner was good

came home.. and just chilled..
next adventure on erie str. La Casalinga ristorante.. that place looks soo good.. can't wait to try it

sad that i didn't go home for chinese new year.. but dispite that.. i still had a very good weekend :)
got some lucky pocket $, chinese new year cake, and my some homemade chinese-style carrot cake courtesy of my mom and dad..



best thing of this weekend.. i have made a decision about 2 things that i've been contemplating for a really really long time

1) nose stud.. i am gonna go thru with that.. prolly get that during the summer.. can't do it now cuz not allowed facial jewelerry at work.. not rite now at least

2) tattoo.. i've been thinking about getting one since i was 18. couldn never decided what to get.. or where to get.. or whether i'd actually go thru with it.. to be honest.. i've actually walked into a tat parlour at least twice and chickened out at the last minute.. and i have decided that i will EVENTUALLY before i'm 25 get a tattoo... something that has to do with my last name, my grandfathers name, and incorporating another inmportant thing that reps me.. dunno yet.. when i do decide.. and when i save enough $$ for it.. i WILL do it.. no more chickening out... as to where? i haven't decided that either.. shoulder? by belly button? hip? lower back?? dunno.. gotta figure out the pattern first...

haha.. so yup... its 330am. and my finger hurts from typing. i cut it at work and i didn't even kno.. don't u just hate it when u cut ur finger at the tip and u can't like put a bandaid on it cuz its an awkward position?

i'm odd and say odd things.. but u should kno that..

lates

Friday:

9:30 - went to car show with frankie, heather and andrew.. lots of nice cars, but a lack of free stuff.. i remember last year when i went they were give away loads of free stuff; postcards, posters, pens, lanyards, laser pointers, cds... LOTS.. this year they skimped out..

all i got was a porsche poster, a cd, and a WICKED 2006 Volkswagon GTI poster.. haha

ended spending about 5 hrs at the car show.. to which i have to say ..

HIGHTLIGHT of the event.. most definetly 4 European salesmean at Volvo.. y u ask?? well lets just they wore just the MOST ridiculous colour suit ever to have been made.. serious.. so ugly!!!

we went to this lil restaurant called zoom during lunch.. and this guy was sitting out on the patio in his hideous suit eating his lunch.. and we honestly burst out laughin.. and we couldn't even help it.. haha

but overall.. i think the car show was definetly worth my $19.. and fun.. getting to spend time with my cds'ers.. catching up on some old moments and wut note..

6:00 - had to work for 3.5 hrs.. was alrite.. mall was not too busy.. ended doing some packaging and cleaning the showcase.. and me.. the EVER KLUTZ.. dropped like 3 plates of chocolates on the floor.. and so i had to restock as well .. dumb dumb me :(

10:00 - went to watch "Underworld: Evolution" with the 2 other members of the trio, the mouse's roomate and another friend.. well letts just say.. i hated ever moment of that..

excerpt from my msn space.. just to lazy to retype it all

"so last nite.. a group of us, under the persusasion of the mouse decided to go watch underworld..

the movie was .. shall we say..

gore, and a few scenes of porn, and then more gore.
without a workable plot or anything.. it was purely 105 mins of gore and porn...

after of which, i and friend of us was bamboozled as to why this was the 1st choice of the mouse..

throught the 105 mins of this movie.. this friend and i were, lets say.. definetly not enjoying it..

while the mouse,and his roomate loved ever moment..despite our contest

after the movie, the mouse and his roomate continually decided to rub it in throught the whole ride home.. talking about more blood and gore..

and to that... I swear.. THE MOUSE IS GONNA PAY!!!!!!!

oh just u wait and see.. i'll get you! "

so i have a very eventful friday.. and saturday is likely to be the same..

i have to work from 10 -3 as a telemarketer for a travel agency, then at 4 i have an interview at applebees which is like a fmily restaurant.. and then afterwards i have a 1 hr pratice.. and maybe some other stuff .. very very busy..

sitting through a 3 hr workshop today made me wonder..

should i really be a part of this team if my heart isn't in it?
i mean.. there is a reason for standing there every week.. in front of everybody..
and i kno what that reason is.. i just dont really know if i believe or agree with that reason..

the others.. the rest of the team is there .. for a majority of the time.. because they believe in the reasoning..

but i don't really.. and i haven't really for a long time.. and most of the team knows.. but.. i guess my whole problem is..

am i being honest? and am i being responsible??

i'm not in this for the rite reasons..

i will admit.. i do enjoy being there.. its made me closer to those around me.. i enjoy the company.. and just being there.. but does that necessarily mean its ok for me to be there despite my not being there for the right reasons??


i guess it mite not make too much sense .. since u don't quite kno the context..

on the other hand.. the only reason as to where i am now is because i kinda got pushed into it.. i joined to do a simple task.. but was in a way pushed up to a higher level with out my consent..

and i guess i never bothered to say anything about it to the ppl in charge.. but i found myself always complaining and regretting not saying anything

in a way

it just makes me wonder.. how many things in life do we participate in, go to, do, say... all for the wrong reasons??

are I being true to myself, my "teammates", others around me, the community?

in a way.. going to whatever it is, doing whatever it is, saying whatever.. its all lie.. we're not really in it.. we're just doing/saying/going for the sake of it..

so what exactly is to be done?

finally home .. aaah it does feel quite nice to be home..
been home for about 4 days or so..
got home late 21st.. went to go see some pneumies @ gendi's.. yeah gendi!! yeah mac computer!!!yeah we luv gendi!!
spent the whole entire 22nd day.. sleeping at home.. haha
23rd.. went shopping with jo at prime outlets in buffalo.. got some good stuff. :P
24th.. slept most of the day.. went grocery shopping for christmas dinners.. last minute christmas shopping.. then went to mcbc at nite.. saw some "old friends".. well actually more like a "old friend".. hehe.. then hung out with some ppl afterwards.. hmm.. risk?? i always thought that it was a boring fall alsleep kinda game.. but its actually quite interesting
25th.. went to church.. finished "secret santa".. yeah kitchen tools :P went out to lunch with the girls.. yum yum jap food.. had some good lil talks.. short but good.. came home.. slept for a few hours.. then prepped for turkey dinner.. yum yum..
menu: salad, french onion soup, turkey, veggies, scallopped potatoes, pumpkin cheesecake
26th.. not doing much.. not going boxing day shopping.. 1) too many ppl
2) i have no $.. so sad
27th.. food & movie nite witht the girls.. more talking :) i miss that.. can't wait
28th.. hanging out with some high skewl friends..
29th.. din din at my place..
30th-31st.. i have actually no idea what i'm doing for nye.. tthats sad.. as long as i don't spend it in a car 10 ft away from mel lastman square.. i'm good :P hehe jo...
1st.. girls nite @ sindy's.. yeah food.. yeah cooking.. me n rach are so excited :) can't wait to get all the recipes going n wut not :) sweetnesss.. FOODIE NERDS unite baby!!!! ^.^


and thats all the plans for now..
will prolly put pics up tommorow

its 637 am.. i've been awake since tuesday at like 12pm... i couldn't fall asleep all nite.. but the sad thing is it wasn't b/c of medical reasons..

its just i'm so excited/happy because
1) finished exams
2) going home at 430pm today
3) gonna get to see lots of ppl and do lots of hanging out
4) christmas
5) my mommi's home :P
6) shopping w/all my girls
7) school is done for me .. until sept that is :)

yeah yeah yeah and yeah some more..

so hence i couldn't go to bed.. and so now i'm just sitting here.. i should be sleeping..cuz i do have 3-5 hrs of driving ahead of me.. depending on weather and wut not..

3 other ppl's lives are in my hands.. haha.. what made them trust me so much? i have no idea..

but b4 then.. gotta do a lil christmas shopping at the mall plus check my jan work times.. then lunch with wynne.. then coming back to the house.. gather all my stuff.. get wynne, victor and eunice. then i'm heading home !!!!!
yeah
yeah


i'll stop saying yeah..



last time..



YEAH!!!!

did i ever mention how much i HATE waking up during the nite.. crying from pain?
today was one of those bad nites.. i went to bed earlier.. hoping to get a good nite's sleep.. and then 4am rolls around.. and i'm awoken because i feel like someone just reached inside my stomach and started to pull it out from my body..

i then decided to do as the doctors say.. and just take my stomach meds.. dosage X2.. and then my ultra strong pain killing medication.. tat didn't help .. and so hence i'm awake at 8am.. finally starting to be able to feel my stomach calm down.. after way too many pills for my own good and eating everything that will help calm a stomach that i had.. including all bread, potatoes, milk, yogurt, and icecream.. and drinking like 10 cups of warm/hot water..

and to end it all.. my week had started off so well.. so happy and excited for christmas.. and just like that.. in the span of a few hours.. all of it disappeared.. i'm no longer excited for christmas.. well i am.. but just 99% less.. my whole attempting to get sleep, so i could attempt to study plan went down the drain.. cuz now if I do fall asleep, I won't be able to wake up till like 3 or 4pm which is just enough time to go to work.. and i'll be so tired and just feeling so shitty after work i wont study.. so that leaves me .. uh..

friday to study for my saturday exam
sat nite/sunday to study for my 2 monday exams.
and monday nite to study for my last final..

then i'm comin home..

despite anybody's thoughts and/or objections.. i am going to be spending the whole entire 22nd at home sleeping and eating good homemade food.. i desperately crave to be taken care off... i misss that.. i miss having my mom making me congee or chinese style macaroni when i'm sick.. i miss it and i'm not ashamed to admit it..

knowing that everybody here in windsor would be separated during xmas.. i decided to do some fun stuff with the group before we all left..

the "trio".. haha we hang out way too much.. and spend way too much $$$... and where does it all go??? desserts.. me n eunice are way too obsessed with desserts haha...

knowing so.. i planned a lil get together.. and before that all had to happen, wynne and i went to market square which is like a farmer's market here windsor.. i'd been b4.. but i always thought this place closed during the winter.. but it didn't.. which was great! damn this place has fresh meat, bread and veggies.. and my favourite!!! Italian sausages.. and the stuff was so cheap.. so much cheaper than a&p.. wynne and i vow never to shop at a&p ever again .. haha.. there was this store inside that sold freshly made pasta and pizza too.. hmm soo good.. i'd go every day if it wasnt a good 15 min drive away.. and this other place.. that sold apples n stuff.. and they sold this really really good apple cider and pies.. yum yum

what a great deal.. enough food for 8 ppl .. for less than $60

anyhow.. so last nite we had a pre-xmas dinner.. had the whole group.. minus a few..

on the menu:
apple walnut salad
honey mushroom caps (was supposed to be stuffed mushroom caps.. but for some reason my fish & crab meat wouldn't defrost.. so i couldn't make it)
garlic bread
pot roast
spaghetti n meatballs
ribs
sushi
scallopped potatoes
veggies

drinks:
OJ
Bacard Island Pineapple
Party pak of Smirnoff (green apple, watermelon, Black Cherry & Raspberry)
Boone's Berry
Zinfandel Strawberry
Hot Apple Cider

hmm definetly way too much food for 8 ppl ... but definetly loads of fun.. eunice didn't quite live up to her name.. u ate too little!!!!! and ryan.. well.. he was the feminine one once again..

afterwards.. some had to leave to study.. ended up being the "trio" + danit.. watched mr.& mrs. smith.. i definetly fell asleep.. cooking makes u way too tired.. that and alcohol on a empty stomach makes the alcohol affect just that much stronger..

after watching movie.. the "pig" started to get hungry again.. so dessert time.. hmm dutch apple pie w/Bacardi Island Pineapple.. not an amazing mix but good none the less..

man i do hafta say.. the 4 of us are rather strange when intoxicated with alcohol.. one is drunk & very very random.. one was intoxicated and very sleepy.. one was just intoxicated and well the other was perfectly normal.. haha

to sum it all up..
it was one hell of a good nite :)

and i definetly can't wait till i go home for xmas and do more dinner parties with my other friends.. so much planned for christmas.. its gonna be so great!

finally had the guts to say it all.. every last bit of it. didn't leave a single letter out.. and i guess it feels good to finally get it all off my chest.. but at same time..

it now comes down to wondering what action shall be taken next?
what is the response?
what if it gets worse?
what if this and what if that?

i feel a sigh of relief but at the same time next problems n questions arise..

very complicating and very confusing..

but i'm glad i finally had the guts to do it.. it was rotting inside me just dying to come out.. i don't kno just how much longer i could deal with it..

maybe now. life for the time being will just be a lil easier to live.

aah.. i finally got the pneumy package.. canada post suxs.. i do hafta say that..


but thanx so much ppl for the package.. greatly appreciated.. made me laugh really hard..

in regards to all the notes..
i really hope thats not what u guys think of me :(










1) i'm very very clean.. i'm spic-and-span as it is already
2) i dun have a uni brow
3)i have a very very clean room.. u can ask andy, or jon wong, or tif!!!!
4)i dun have piles of wax of my shoulders.. .. btw. wouldn't u mean piles of dandruff?? why would anyone have piles of wax on their shoulders??
5)i have LOTS of clean laundry.. not "1 & only 1" so HA!
6)i think i have fresh breath.. i brush and floss!!! so i should have fresh breath .. but then i can't smell my own breath so who knows?

MOST IMPORTANTLY>










i dun need natural source overnight comfortable laxative relief.. nor do i need antacid for anti-gas...

thanks but no thanx..

but there was one thing i did need!!! luving the kleenex.. definetly do have runny nose goign on rite now :)

in conclusion.. thank u for the package pneumatos:) mad jokes
that model pic was kinda cute lookin











can't wait till xmas.. to share that lovely food with u all.. especially gendi:P u draw funni loooking ppl

not much has happened since last blog.. still awaiting results from doctors.. still pissed off my mind from them.. but what can u do?

been working like 20 something hrs at LS for the last week or so..been having fun.. never really noticed how much chocolate ppl bought at christmas time...

promos going on.. if u wanna check them out..
spend $20+, get a box of mini 100G for 2.99 instead of 6.50
spend $30+, get 30 Aeroplan points, and a chance to win 200,000 Aeroplan miles :)

lots of kewl christmas things on display.. been eating a lot them myself hehe :p

chocolates and icecream.. so i decided that i hafta do some sort of exercise at least 3x a week for like 1 1/2 hrs or more.. too much chocolate and icecream.. only balance if i wanna keep eating


so i went today.. after working from 10-6..went to gym for 1/2hr.. did some cardio stuff.. then swam laps for 1hr.. not too bad.. i'm definetly out of shape.. got tired after like 6 laps.. as opposed to back in the day.. maybe 10-15?? i miss sports :P


then afterwards.. me and 5 of my friends went out.. to this crepe place in tecumseh.. 2nd time there.. it was pretty good.. lots of crepes and sandwiches n soups n stuff. not a bad place to go :)















i ordered the french onion soup..














and an italiano crepe- priscuitto, pepperoni, tomatoes, olive oil and garlic.. the works















eunice n ryan ordered apple blossom crepe















danit ordered the grand marnier/banana crepe


had some good fun.. theres also this shop next door.. gold chocolate.really nice chocolate shop.. i bought 2 really nice looking truffles.. one was a mushroom truffle.. and the other was a black and white truffle.. made by some san francisco chocolatier called joseph schmidt..

















































simply can't wait till xmas.. and everybody gets to hang out lots.. fun dinners.. and getogethers.. woohoo :)


18 days till i go home
22 days till christmas..

sweetness!!!

as if life wasn't bad anything..

they had to give me even more bad news.

DAMN I HATE DOCTORS!!!!

they seem to have some way of making life worse and worse for me ..


FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!! ARRRRRGGGGHHHH