to reply on what cy said...

cy's blog

its really true.. how often do we brush by homeless people when we go downtown??? how often do we go and pray for the sick and in trouble?? the poor??

why is it that we only seem to care when someone tell us to care?? why don't we care about all the other missing children out there?? or the hungry children?? the orphans?? why do we only seem to care about one??

i mean.. yes.. its sad what happened to cecilia... it truly is.. this shouldn't be happening...

but... it is really sad how we all... focus on ourselves and our family and friends ALL the time.. we never seem to care about anybody or anything else...

why can't we open our eyes and see the world.. not the image that everything seems to give off.. but the REAL world!!! the world filled with sadness, loneliness, disease, hatred..

we need to open our eyes and see it for ourselves..


thanx cy for the wake up..

i'm going home this weekend.. the diff from usual is :

1) i'm not going for fun!!!!

i have to go to laurier for an audition.. scared shitless for it rite now..... i have to get it.. i need the summer course credit.. boo urns

2) grammy is home!!!

which automaticaly means good fun!!! sweetness!!!hmm.. i should make a list of what to get her to make for me to bring back.. i luv my grammy

3) i definetly need to go home..

if i say here in the ghetto any longer i swear i'm gonna go psycho!!!!

aah :) on a brighter side.. i had previously mentioned that teaching job in hk... its great!! i'm so in debt and that job is so gonna get me out of it!!!!! u wouldn't think teaching overseas can be that great.. but

1) kids!! i luv them!!
2) hong kong!!! i luv it there too
3) experience.. i definetly need it
4) the pay!!! the greatest thing of all!!! $250-$280 HK an hour!! 2-4 hours a day.. 5 days a week.. for 5 weeks.. that means about $2500-$5600 CAD for the month of august plus a week in july!!! thats amazing!!! definetly need that money

i owe my sister money, my parents money, VISA, MASTERCARD, and most of all.. a big amount to my grammy.. for the damn english horn...

anyhow.. enuf ranting for nwo..

is it just me.. or is life harder and harder to life each and every day??

i find that most definetly.. and it pisses me off!!!

its up to the point where i dun even really care about anything anymore..

school .. music... work.. i dun really give a damn anymore..

aaah.. i hate this looking for a place to live stuff.. so confusing.. u can never find the perfect place.. i found one place.. it was really good.. close.. nice apartment.. pretty big for one bedroom.. really cheap.. like $450 all inclusive.. hydro and cable too.. only thing to pay for is internet.. amazing.. balcony too.. best thing!!!

NICE BIG CLOSET!!!

hehe.. all my clothes.. ha!

stupid thing is.. the guy's lease thing.. is for 12 months.. and i am not going to be here from may to august.. and i dun feel like paying $450 each months.. thats like $2000 bucks!!!! no way!!! and i can't sublet it.. the guy wont let me.. if i could sublet it.. i would.. and im pretty sure someone would take it... the place is amazing.. URGH!!!!

now i gotta keep lookin.. so far.. only a few places look good.. the best is a loft downtown.. its pretty good.. but kinda far.. gotta keep looking....

Countdown to the rest of the semester

2 days till: my 2nd psyc midterm
11 days till: Music Therapy Student Association Conference
13 days till: Session Planning Assignment
22 days till: Song Leading Assignment
25 days till: Wind Ensemble "Lord of the Rings" Concert = 3pm @ Capitol
29 days till: Service Learning Presentation
35 days till: My Basic Skills Final Exam @ 12pm
: My Music Therapy Final Exam@ 830am
37 days till: Oboe Jury @ 2:15 pm
: Psyc Final Exam @4pm
38 days till: Theory Final Exam
: I move out of Residence
47 days till: Wind Ensemble Tour = 1 whole week
78 days till: WLU Windfest Chamber Music Workshop = 20 days
99 days till: I board my plane to HK

100 days till: I"M in HK!!!!

122 days till: I start teaching English in HK

142 days till: I go to VANCOUVER!!! visit all my buds!!

146 days till: I return to Toronto from Vancouver

153 days till: 2nd year of uni begins!!!!!!

BLUE You give your love and friendship unconditionaly. You enjoy long, thoughtful conversations rich in philosophy and spirituality. You are very loyal and intuitive. Find out your color at Quiz Me!

is it really that hard to get someone out of ur head??

i mean.. ive never really had that big of a problem with it.. ever

and it took me at the most 1 month?? i guess.. i dun really even kno for sure.. never kept track...

but ... i find it harder & harder to forget...

reading week.. i dreaded going back.. cuz i'd have to see you.. and even tho i knew seeing you would help me get thru it..the feelings go away.. i still didn't want to.. and i tried my hardest to avoid confrontation..

and i guess my hard work paid off.. cuz i never did see you.. for many reasons.. laziness.. weather.. to name a few...

instead of seeing u for the short week.. i ended up talking to u .. more often than i have in the last 3 4 weeks.. and i guess that mite be the problem.. without having heard from u.. or seen u... for such a long time..i kinda started to forget about u..

and then the sudden dreading of having to see u set in.. and all of a sudden talking to u once again.. it bought the feelings back out..

i told myself to forget.. to not put some thought into it..b/c i knew there was nothing there.. nothing to beginning with.. and nothign there now...

but why couldn't i get u out of my head?

as i sit here.. trying to figure out my thoughts.. i dun even know where we are.. friends?? more than friends?? or not even friends??

i mean .. we use to be friends.. but our relationship has sorta gone in the ditch.. dun talk so much anymore.. dun hang out no more..so where are we??

i dun even kno where exactly i stand in this whole situation.. where do i want to be?? do i want to move on?? do i want to stay where i am??

i wish i knew.. that way.. i wouldn't have to think about it..

i can pretty much sum up how stupid i am.. in one sentence.

i forgot that i had a midterm and an assignment due this week!!!!


completely forgot!!! like completely!!! didn't no anythign all reading week.. and now

am SUFFERING!!!!!

aaah!!!!

4 hours of sleep!! woohoo.. i'm gonna die b4 the end of this week..

wish me luck everybody!!

aah.. my reading week has passed by really quickly..

today is saturday already..

i'm going in tommorow.. and honestly ...

i haven't done much this week.. really i haven't...

friday: went to london to get jo.. and then took train back home

saturday: hung out at home for the day.. picked up sammie and fre...went to pneumatos.. and then went to congee wong with ppl afterwards

sunday: went to jap food with jo and cyrus

monday: can't remember what i did this day.. if i even did anythign..

tuesday: hung out at home.. went to jo's.. watched Lost in Translation with her, sam, si, and some guy named enoch

wednesday: went down to baycrest for my observation.. got jo.. went shopping down on queen street.. got some oboe/EH stuff...and then pj's house for some ladies chat thing with betty

my observation.. was amazing! just plain amazing!!

thursday: went to lunch with bunch of cds'ers... shay.. frankie.. rogers.. elise.. d.. james and gf.. then back to cds.. visited.. sat in for band.. haha.. i'm a loser.. yes.. i kno

friday: went with mom to go to chiro's... ouchy... i forgot how much it hurt.. picked up brother.. went to jo's.. we WERE suppose to go see the passion.. but jo and si and jer.. quickly reminded how i didn't like to hang out with them.. so unorganized.. and so ma fan.... Urgh!!! but i still luv them... so then went to jap food with mom and bro and dad.. yummi.. :P and then desserts.. woohoo..

sat: today.. chillin out with d.. lunch and movie and something like that

sun: wake up.. pack.. lunch.. leave


and that will be the end of my reading week.. really haven't done much..

all i can say is this:



I'm HOMe!!


luving it!!!

My inner child is ten years old!

The adult world is pretty irrelevant to me. Whether
I'm off on my bicycle (or pony) exploring, lost
in a good book, or giggling with my best
friend, I live in a world apart, one full of
adventure and wonder and other stuff adults
don't understand.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

3 days
till i officially fail my theory midtem

i swear to god.. i dun kno anything that is on it.. urgh!!! and i dun get it.. i'm trying 2 catch up.. but dun get it!! URGH~!!!

Praise & Worship Nite

was really really good!!! even tho we didn't have much time to prep for it.. it was amazing.. at least i thought so.. well and a few other ppl too..

WE Concert

was amazing.. Trevor Pittman was OMG!!!!!! he played so amazingly!!! AAAH!!!! and the rest of the WE was amazing too!!!! yeah!!! even tho i screwed up one of my solos.. buts thats ok

Miranda??

didn't happen.. she didn't come down.. which totally suxed... but thats ok.. i can take my revenge on her when i go home for reading week!!!

Reading Week

i'm leaving on friday!!! FRIDAY!!!! so soon.. yet so far away.... :( can't wait!!!! can't wait!! Jap FOOD w/jo !!!!! Good Homemade chinese food!!!!! Movies!!! Hanging out with friends!! no Work!!! WOHOOO!!!

Theory Midterm
so utterly and completely screwed for that.. i have no idea what the heck i'm doing in theory.. this stupid choral harmony analysis crap.. aaah!!!!

thats all i gotta say.. short but straight to the point

Countdown:

1 day till: Praise & Worship Nite at WCBC
2 days till: Miranda comes to visit me in windsor
3 days till: U of Windsor Wind Ensemble Concert @ Capitol Theatre 3 pm
5 days till:I become a psyc research lab rat
8 days till: My Very 1st Music Therapy Observation!!! :) WEEE!!!
9 days till: Theory Midterm
: I go to London to pick up JO
: I go HOME!!!!
11 days till: Reading Week officially starts!!!
13 days till: My very first 2nd Music Therapy observation!!! :) WEEE!!
19 days till: my observation assignment is due
21 days till: my music therapy midterm
29 days till: my 2nd psyc midterm
62 days till: My Basic Skills Final Exam @ 12pm
: My Music Therapy Final Exam@ 830am
64 days till: Psyc Final Exam @4pm
65 days till: Theory Final Exam
: DONE FIRST YEAR!!!!

now as i look at the list.. my first year of uni is gonna be over really soon.. this year has gone by really really quickly.. i mean.. it was only a year ago.. that i started worrying about uni.. and whether i would get in or not.. and now.. aproximately 365 days later.. i'm sitting here.. about to finish my first year.. WOW!!! time goes by really quickly... and lots have happening in the time that has passed by

1)i'm no longer the boy-crazy .. boy-obsessed girl that i always was.. i mean... i still like guys.. dun get me wrong.. but it no longer a priority for me.. all thru high skewl.. i worried so much about bf's.. about whether i'd have one.. about whether he was the rite one.. about whether we should be together.. and every single lil thing u could associate with having a bf.. and i worried so much about it in hs... i dunno even kno why.. cuz as i look back.. i never had a single good relationship with any of them.. they all ended horrificly... and why did i spend so much on it.. when in the end.. it didn't make a difference.. so now..i'm concentrating on more importants things.. skewl.. friends.. family.. my future.. and if i meet a guy.. and things seem rite.. sure i'll take the opportunity.. but if there are no opportunities.. i'm ok with that too..

2)everybody seems to think that i've kinda matured.. even in the first 3 weeks of university.. when i first went home.. first thing Dez said to me.. was ur different.. uve matured.. no longer the cute kiddish lil Sindy.. and i dunno really if thats true.. i haven't noticed anything.....

3)spiritually... i've grown a bit.. a lil bit.. at least.. i'll actually go on sundays and friday.. w/o muttering and complaining..
there are still a lot of questions that need to be answered.. and problems to be solved.. but i'll get there eventually.. i hope.. this much is for sure.. i no longer repel the faith.. i no longer hate it.. i've acccepted it.. and will go from there

4) emotionally.. for me this year.. has been hard.. with everything around me.. changing.. and all my friends changing.. and the environment changing.. its been hard for me to keep up.... and i've often been in the background.. looking as everybody and everything changed.. and i didn't want that.. i really didn't.. i wanted things to be exactly the same.. and i couldn't bear to see it changed.. so many a times.. i found myself feeling lonely and in tears.. i didn't wanna grow up.. i didn't want to lose my friends.. i didn't want to change.. and I still dont.. but ive learned that no matter how much i cry or how much im not happy it.. things will change.. i just have to learn to accept and adapt.. thats all there is to do..

so i guess.. this year has passed by quickly.. but i've learned quite a # of things.. and i'm sure there is still lots more to learn.. before the end of this semester is over...

woohoo.. i have a page.. My Site its majorly under construction!!! hehe.. as u can see probably.. but i finally figured out some stuff.. so its in the works.. just have to do some more figuring out.. but


MAD PROPS SI!!!
he helped me fix some stuff !!! woohoo SI!!!

yeah.. very excited.. now all i need to do.. is befriend some nerdy comp sci major who is amazing at html.. so he can teach me how to do thigns..then I"M SET!!! woohoo!!!

If you're chinese.. your suppose to be the following:


CHINESE - chinks (derived from Chinese)

You speak loudly even if you`re only one foot away. - I dunt speak loudly .. do i ??

You’re cheap and ridiculously tight with your money. - me cheap?? yeah rite

Your parents speak to you in Chinese and speak English with an accent if they speak it at all. - very true

Your skin is oily and you`ve had a history with pimples because of the greasy food you eat. - my skin is oily. but never really had a zit problem

You’re a terrible driver. - Ha! definetly!! rite jo?

You have the furniture in your house in funky, illogical placesbecause your mom is superstitious. - mom is not superstitious

You love to eat at Chinese "cafe`s" and drink boba. - wats boba>??

You’re inherently rude, by culture. - i dun think i'm rude

Your kitchen smells like sesame oil and your bedroom smells like tiger balm. - nope.. neither one

You stick to your "own kind", having few (if any) friends outside the Chinese race. - i have a mixture...of ALL races

You or someone you know has the American name David, Danny, Peter, Steve, Kenny, Jenny, Winnie, Wendy, Suzy, Lucy or Linda (unless your parents thought they were creative by naming you Johnson, Jackson, or Emerson). - I kno ppl..yes..but i am a lucky creative one.. hehe .. not a lot of chinese ppl named Sindy.. WITH a SSSSSS

You have a relative that has a long pinky nail and a mole with a long hair growing out of it. - NOPE

You eat chicken’s feet, and eggs that are so rotten they are black (1000 year old egg). - They're not rotten eggs!! PRESERVED!!!.. and they're really good

You are hairless (male or female). - i have a whole head of hair!

It`s guaranteed that either you or your parents have some ugly red tassle thing dangling from your car`s review mirror.

-nope

now..how exactly am i 60-70% stereotypical?? half of those question.. dont even apply to me!!!

thought for the day... am i really?




Click here to see if you`re a "Stereotypical Asian" yourself! -

once again.. just like in november.. i am reminded of my worth... id like to think that i'm important.. that may sound very conceited.. but deep down inside.. everybody wishes they were important.. at least to some ppl..

in my case.. apparently.. i'm not important to a hell of a lot of ppl.. ud think that friends would care for u.. be there to support you..

but when it all comes down to one thing.. ur put at the very back of the list of importance.. second last.. if not dead last...

and the thing is.. you dun even ask a lot of them.. one simple lil thing.. take a lil time out of their lives... and that much.. ur not even important enough for.. sad really...

and depressing.. to kno.. that ur worth nothing... ur not important.. they dun care enough...

and it makes you wonder.. is it something i did.. or somethign about me that makes me not important?? am i a horrible person that nobody wants to befriend?? am i a loser?? is that why nobody cares??

for some ppl .. this is simply a phase.. that goes away...

for me.. it seems like it occurs over and over again.. with same ppl.. with different ppl.. its like i seem to attract them or something.. over and over again.. it happens to me.. i dun kno what i did to deserve anything of this..

its not even that i'm asking a lot out of anybody.. be there.. support me.. care for me.. id do the same for you.. so why can't they do it for me??

yes.. that does sound conceited.. but its only fair.. the amount of times that ive cared and been there for them... i'm askin for one time.. and i can't even have that..

i wish this was somethin i could just decide to get over.. like other thigns in my life..but i can't.. i find myself in tears about this time and time again... and i kno these tears will continue to be shed over and over again.. and there isn't a single thing i can do... and that suxs most of all

if it was a problem that i could fix and it would go away.. my life would be so much easier.. but the fact that it isn't.. kills me.... both mentally, physically, and emotionally...

one of these days.. i'll have reached the edge.. and i wont kno where to go from there.. or if there even is anywhere to go from there.. i dunno when that day will be.. but at this rate.. it'll be soon..


and that'd be the end

of me

i've put a new layout.. altho i am by far.. the most unartsy person on earth.. i liked the format..and i decided to change it from jay chou.. kinda startin to get old of it..
so enjoy..

aaah..i'm so back into koreans!!! well at least.. korean tv. korean songs.. korean drama.. won bin!!! aah he's so hot..
















Look At those Abs!!! AAAH!
so incredibly hot!!!!!

anyhoo.. hehe


these next two weeks will be rather interesting...

this weekend..

sunday at 3pm..capitol theatre.. concerto concert.. w/windsor community orchestra.. showcasing 3 soloist from u of windsor school of music... a) Trevor -tuba b) Carla - Piano c) Jenn- clarinet d) i forget her name- Vocal

and then theres another # of students just playing with the orchestra.. me being one..

and then next weekend...

saturday at 8pm
Chrysler Theatre
Tchaikovsky - Romeo & Juliet
Windsor Symphony.. goin to hear it.. should be amazing

later saturday nite...
mom and miranda are coming into windsor

sunday at 3pm
Capitol Theatre
U of Windsor Wind Ensemble concert
- playing like 5 pieces
1) Concerto X- clarinet concerto w/ Trevor Pittman.. he's AMAZING!!!!
2) Armenian Dances I (oboe soloes throughout)
3) Vaughan Williams - Folk Song Suite (big oboe solo)
4) Rolling Thunder
5) Colonial Song - Grainger

it will be an amazing concert.. can't wait

and then rest of sunday.. is girls nite out.. me miranda and mom.. woohoo..

and then monday.. go to class till 1230... then i think..shopping in detroit.. me mom and miranda again.. they go home on monday nite i believe..

i can't wait.. i haven't had any visitors this year.. well except for chung..

he came around chinese new year on his way to visit tiff..

and i mite have another visitor later in march.. mr.marshall mite be coming.. so that'll be exciting.. haha..

aah...

i dunno.. but valentine's day coming up.. once again.. a holiday.. i INCREDIBLY hate...

in words of guy:

Valentine's Day= SAD
SAD= Singles Awareness Day

valentines day.. its a holiday that literally makes fun of all the single pl.. flaunt it in their face.. ugh!!!

i hate it .. i hate it.. i hate it..
:@

enuf for now.. stupid valentines day.. making me pissed off

on the same topic as mondi....

summer.. well maybe it wont' sux entirely..

was checkin out the laurier site.. and saw that they had something called a windfest chamber music workshop
and it mite be worthwhile.. so im gonna apply and wut not now..hopefully i'll get in.. cuz u have to audition and stuff..it'll be fun i think....

so yeah.. thats my lil blob for now... be back later

Man!! hong kong really does sux more than i thought... my plans for the summer were

1. attend summer skewl at a hong kong uni.. whether music course or a psyc course
2. work at a chinese skewl teaching..
3. celebrate grannie's 81st birthday
4. have fun
5. get to hang out in hk.. buy stuff.. go cheung k..


now.. #1 is not gonna happen.. since apparently most HK uni's dun offer summer credit courses. what the hell is up with that??? they only offer short-courses that are for fun.. not credit.. so i guess i cna't do that.. but then if i take summer skewl here in ontario.. its like from june 26 to mid august.. wut?? i can't do that.. i have to be in hk.. by mid july.. i have to teach!!! and i have to be in hk for grannie's birthday dinner!! everybody else in my family is gonna be there.. can't not be there!!!!
wut am i suppose to do now?? i have to take summer skewl!!! i need the extra course....smaller load for next year..

NOT FAIR!!! boohoo :'(

aaah.. so not kewl!!!!

and oh.. in hk... i have to find a place to pratice. can't really pratice much in the apartment.. so small and no space... and if i play.. neighbours will complain.. so that means i'll ahve to rent a studio space to pratice 3 hours a day.. i dunno where u can..a nd i'm sure it'll be mad expensive... and i have no $$$.. NONE!!!!! ugh.. how is this gonna work??

at least one good thing.. i'm pretty sure i'll have a job working in summer.. and then i'll ahve some $$.. but then it'll be half for time i spend in hk.. and half for rest of the year.. i'm hoping i'll earn about $2000 CAN??? hopefully.. i kno teaching is a pretty good job.. $$ wise..

assuming.. i work everyday .. from 9 -3.. which makes 6 hours.. and i work 5 days a week.. 30 hours a week.. and then i assume.. i make $20 an hour??? so thats like $600 a week.. and 4 weeks make about $2400.. i certainly hope so!!!!

aah...

done my ranting.. thanx!

Robot Dog

the kewlest thing ever.. take a look.. would totally work in my house.. since daddie doesn't like dogs..

i was downloading movies off kazaa.. and i downloaded the movie Honey.. with Mehki Phieffer and Jessica Alba.. the story of the movie is average gotta get outa the ghetto dance story.. but it was good even so.. and the very end in the dance benefit... the song.. Yolanda Adams.. i believe.. and all the dance moves.. sweet.. and i searched the lyrics of the song ... and they're really touching..


Yolanda Adams - I Believe
(written by: Charisse Mannolini)

From the movie "Honey"

They said you wouldn’t make is so far uh uh
And ever since they said it, it’s been hard
But nevermind the nights you had to cry
Cause you have never let it go inside
You worked real hard
And you know exactly what you want and need
So believe and you can never give up
You can reach your goals
Just talk to your soul and say…
(Chorus)
I believe I can (I can)
I believe I will (I will)
I believe I know my dreams are real (know my dreams are real)
I believe I’ll chant (Oh yea)
I believe I’ll dance
I believe I’ll grow real soon and (That’s why)
That is what I do believe

Your goals are just a thing in your soul uh uh
And you know that your moves will let them show
You keep creating pictures in your mind
So just believe they will come true in time
It will be fine
Leave all of your cares and stress behind
Just let it go
Let the music flow inside
Forget all your pain
And just start to believe

(Chorus)
I believe I can (I believe I can oh yea)
I believe I will
I believe I know my dreams are real (All of my dreams are real)
I believe I’ll chant
I believe I’ll dance (I gotta dance)
I believe I’ll grow real soon and (ooo)
That is what I do believe
Whoa oa oa YEA…

(Music break)

Nevermind what people say
Hold your head high and turn away
With all our hopes and dreams
I will believe
Even though it seems it’s not for me
I won’t give up I’ll keep it up
Look into the sky
I will achieve all my needs
I will always believe….OoOo

(Chorus 2x)
I believe I can
I believe I will (I can)
I believe I know my dreams are real (I got strength)
I believe I’ll chant
I believe I’ll dance (I gotta dance)
I believe I’ll grow real soon and (watch me watch me watch me)
That is what I do believe (I do believe in me)

I believe I can
I believe I will (oh yea)
I believe I know my dreams are real
I believe I’ll chant
I believe I’ll dance (I gotta dance)
I believe I’ll grow real soon and
That is what I do believe (I do believe! yayeeyay)

you always gotta learn to believe in ourselves.. if no one believes in us.. thats oka.. as long as we believe in ourselves.. one day.. someone will notice that beauty that is us.. and believe in us..

amazing new song.. well not really new.. i heard at his concert down at skydome on dec 18..and now am in luv!!!!! aah!! not with him.. but his song.. haha
cuz he's 40 and kinda old!!!!

hehe.. here's andy lau's "If One Day"

Èç¹ûÓÐÒ»Ìì

Çú/Ô~: „¢µÂÈA ¾Ž: Billy Chan

Èç¹ûÓÐÒ»Ìì Æû܇Åcïw™CÞDÑÛÔÙ²»×ã‰ò „eº¦Å Äã“íÓÐµÄ ÌìÙxµÄ Ò»Œ¦ëpÄ_ °éÄã¿ÉÂþß[
Èç¹ûÓÐÒ»Ìì ÄãÎÝÑe‚í‚hÒ»µ©ÔÙ²»“íÓÐ „eº¦Å ÄÇœØůµÄ ¼ÒÑeµÄ ³É†TšgЦ °éÄã춴²î^ Ðʷ͸
È˵Ŀ옷 ÔÚºõŒW•ÔµÈºò ÃüÑe²»šwì¶Äã Äã±ãÒãÈ»µØ·Åé_ÊÖ Ô½±§ÖøÖ»•þÔ½æÕ Öª×ãÒ»ÊÀÄã±ã¸»ÓÐ
ÈËÉÆÌì²»ÆÛ º††ÎÒ»‚€µÀÀí ÔõüN(¾¹)²»¿´Í¸ Èξý¶àÃÀû?¸»Ô£ ÔÚ×îááƽî^ ÿ·NÒò¹ûÊÇÓÐÌìÐÞ
ÈËÉÆÌì²»ÆÛ Ä㶮µÃÒÔáá ÕÆÎÕÐÄÖй?×à ֻҪʳµÃÂä ˯µÃºÃ ÌìÌìÑeЦµÃé_¿Ú ±ã(¾Í)ÒÑ×ã‰ò
Èç¹ûÓÐÒ»Ìì ‘ð ŽÅcï|»Ä ³ä³âÈ«‚€µØÇò „eº¦Å ÄãÐÄÎÒÐÄ ÊÖÅcÊÖ ßB³ÉÒ»¾€ žéÄã¿É·Ö‘n ºÃÅóÓÑ

lyrics are so meaningful.. just luv this song...

oh and dun forget..

his other song "Age 17" is really good too..


17šq

Ô~: „¢µÂÈA + ÐìÀ^×Ú Çú: ÐìÀ^×Ú ¾Ž: Billy Chan

Ê®ÆßšqÄÇÈÕ²»ÒªÄ˜ …¢¼ÓÁËÌô‘ð Ã÷ÐÇÒ²ÓÐÓ–¾š°à ¶Ì¶ÌÒ»ÄêÌ«ÐÂõr Ó›µÃËÄ¸ç °l¸ç ¶¼ÒÑÒŠß^Ãæ áá?í....˜sÉýÖ÷½Ç̫ͻȻ
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have been having a good streak lately...been having lots of good times.. yeah me!!!

1. finally got my jay chou EP- hidden track... YEAH!!! i've been waiting for it for so incredibly long!!! finally got it!! SWEET

2. got a nice guitar strap!!! woohoo!!! yeah dirty pink too!! just my kinda colour

3. I had a VISITOR!!! haven't had one!! not one that came to windsor.. altho his actual destination wasnt windsor.. it was nice to have a friend come by.. thanx chung!!! u made my day!! wohoo!!!

4. went skating last week with a few friends.. and it was nice.. haven't had that much fun in a while.. even when i was back home.. wasn't that much fun

5. went to the NAIAS.. north american internation auto show.. lots of fun there too. some mad nice cars..oh man!!!

I'm startin to think that i was meant to be in windsor..i'm really enjoying it.. in fact.. up till i was talking to some high skewl friends.. i had completely forgot about the acadia thing.. the possibility of transferring.. and here comes the hard part..

do i wanna transfer?? do i wanna leave all these new friends behind??

Pro's
- Acadia is a better skewl
- better program
- better facility.. much better facility.. not some stupid converted bowling alley

CON's
- leaving behind friends.. that i kno i'd miss
- leaving behind a familiar place.. both windsor and home..
- being so incredibly far away from everything and everyone i kno
- not being able to go home that often
- having to live in a incredibly small town .. where there is nothing.. seriously.. wolfville is small!!
- not knowing whether or not ill even enjoy it there at acadia
- no knowing whether i'll fit in
- no knowing whether or not i'll find friends
- no knowing my away round anywhere
- having to meet new friends
- having to adapt to a brand new surrounding

altho there does seem there are a lot of cons in comparison to pro's but even so.. i kinda feel that the 3 pros kinda surpass any cons i may have... b/c it is my better education thats at stake here.. still so.. i still am so confused as to what really to do.. someone help me out!~!!! please!!@!!!! any ideas???


Sindy

things come and go.. part of life is to learn to deal with the sudden change... being able to live life having certain things.. and being ok with it when its taken away from you

i guess lifes hard that way... often.. when u want it the most.. its never there... and no matter how hard u try to get it...it wont ever come... no matter how much crying and pouting.. and screaming.. and fighting for it.. it still wont come.. just simply b/c the times not rite.. or its not meant to be..

and sometimes when u feel like u dunt need it.. it shows up rite in front of you.. like its flaunting you sometimes.. it really suxs when its like that.. it really does.. it makes u wonder... why couldnt you have been there just earlier?? when i needed u most?? now that i dunt need you, you come.. and whats the point?? whats the need now??

for me... at least...i find myself very angry b/c of this.. i can never bring myself to think that life isn't in my hands.. it never was.. and it never will be.. nothings in my control.. i have no power to change anything that ever happens.. im ignorant and stubborn that way..

tonite has been a bit of a revelation for me.. just sitting in my room thinking.. and listening to a chinese radio drama....made me think a lot..

i was listening to ŒÜ?¯‹‰“I‰Æ (5 star family) on 881903.com and the story really touched me.. it made me realized that life can be so confusing.. yet so good to you in ways u never thought.. in the example of the story.. the mother and her father had always fought..the father had always tried to do what was best for her daughter..but the daughter never knew.. b/c she thought that he was just stubborn and didn't care..

last few weeks of my life have been that i guess... a lot has happened.. and going home for christmas.. i dreaded talking to my parents.. i didn't wanna tell them that i had failed them.. i was afraid of the consequences of what might be.. so i kept on ignoring them.. kept on changing the topics.... but rite b4 i left.. i had no choice.. they brought it up.. and the whole time they asked me about it.. i kept thinking in my head.. why do u care?? its not ur life.. u have no rite to control my life.. and what choices to do with my life is my choice.. not yours.. but now...

i realized that life can be confusing.. sometimes true meanings are hidden.. and wut is visible... may not be the whole story.. i now realized.. that my parents have always had my interests as their top priority.. they have always wanted nothing but the best for me.. and i always thought the worst of them... thinking that they were bossy and controlling..not wanting to let me grow up and be independent..but that was all totaly wrong!! they weren't like that.. not at all!!

unfortanetly in the story.. the daughter and father didn't get to fix their problems.. and overcome their misunderstandings till his deathbed.. im lucky enough to realized this now.. while i'm still young.... and can have many years of happiness with them..

my realization: no matter how much ur parents seem to be controlling ur life.. trying to protect.. shielding you.. from anything and everything.. THEY DO HAVE ONLY YOUR INTERESTS IN HEART!!! they dun want you to get hurt.. they dun want you to have to experience pains.. they dun wanna see you cry.. see u hurt.. they kno how much it hurts to have to life regrets.. they dun want the same for you... so i guess..

Be grateful for the things your parents do for you!!!

an interesting email i recieved today..and its kinda funny.. but also very true..

Formula for Success

A small truth to make our Life's 100% successful..........

If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is equal to 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

L+O+V+E=12+15+22+5=54%

L+U+C+K = 12+21+3+11 = 47%

(None of them makes 100%)



...............................

Then what makes 100%

Is it Money? ..... No!!!!!

Leadership? ...... NO!!!!

Every problem has a solution, only if we perhaps

change our "ATTITUDE".

It is OUR ATTITUDE towards Life and Work that makes

OUR Life 100% Successful..

A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

Don't you think so?!?!?!

Bubble Wrap Game!!

check this out.. bubble wrap !!!! woohoo!!!

a lil stress relieving story.. courtesy of my bud Guy..

"HOW TO BEAT STRESS".
Enjoy..............

"For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number, and dialed it. A man answered saying, "Hello?" I politely said, "This is Bob, could I please speak with Robin?"

Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number, and called her (I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number.)

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asswipe!" and hung up.I wrote his number down, with the word 'asswipe' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him. He'd answer and I'd yell, "You're an asswipe!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asswipe' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the caller ID program?" He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asswipe!"

So, one day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot.

The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asswipe (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asswipe, too. I dialed and someone said, "Hello?"

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

"Yes it is."

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front."

"What's your name?" I asked.

"My name is Don Hansen," he said.

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home every evening after five."

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

"Yes?"

"Don, you're an asswipe!"

Then I hung up and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two asswipes to call. But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea:

I called Asshole #1.

"Hello"

"You're an asswipe!" (but I didn't hang up.)

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Stop calling me," he screamed.

"Make me," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Don Hansen."

"Yeah, where do you live?"

"Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house with my black Beemer out front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asswipe."

Then I called Asshole # 2:

"Hello?" he said.

"Hello, Asshole," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

"You'll what?" I said.

"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, asswipe, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then, I hung up, and immediately called the police saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and I was on my way over there to kill my gaylover.

Then, I called Channel 13 news about the gang war going down on West 34thStreet.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th St. There, I saw two asswipes beating the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.

Now, I feel much better"


Hope that helps the More stressed amongst you

today is friday.. the 9th of january.. of the year 2004..
at aproximately 8pm tonite, i, for the very first time, made tong yuen!!! from scratch.. like taking glutinous powder.. making it into the shell of the glutinous balls and then filling it with lotus paste. i'm so proud of myself!!!! my one big thing for the nite!! wowo!!! i can't believe it!! so proud!!! wohooo!!!!!!

ugh... i hate this... i always get sick.. and when i do.. its always a bad flu or bad cold...ugh.. and i've missed class b/c of it.. rite now.. my head is pounding.. can't stop sneezing.. feeling the shiveries.. ugh.. i hate this..


:(


i dun have any more classes now... i missed basic skills, theory, private lesson, as well as reed class... so not kewl....

i'm just gonna end up chilling for the rest of the day in my bed... in my room.. trying to rest.. get better... so i can go to class tommorow... ugh.. i hate winter....

aside from being able to ski and snowboard... and having snowball fights.. i hate winter... i wish winter had snow.. but was never cold or windy.. ugh.... not fair..

aah.. i swear!!!!! i hate fire alarms!!! so not kewl!!!! one went off in my building at 4AM!!!!!! freakin 4 am!!!! so not kewl..

my whole building was standing outside in the freazin cold for like a good 30 minutes... not fair.. i was only wearing my pajamas and a jacket too.. soo cold!!!!!

:(


b/c of it.. i missed my appointment that was at 9am..and my psyc class that was at 10am... wanna kno why??

cuz the stupid fire alarm went off.. and i couldn't go back to back till like 530.. and only slept for like 2 hours.... so tired.. couldn't get up at 8.. which i had to get up by.. so ended up...being.. sleeping thru my appointment.. as well as my class!!!! soooo not kewl!!!!

oh... notice the kewl new jay chou layout?? its nice.. i thought so at least..it fits doesn't it?? me and my big obsession with jay chou?? haha.. yeah me!!!

hey hey!!! its been a while since i've blogged... and christmas has been interesting.. and very long... parts of it sad.. parts happy.. parts confusing.. parts very mad.. aah.. too many emotions experienced.. in a short span of 3 weeks.. but yeah

skewl is back on... first day today...have some pretty fun classes this semester

Monday
Basic Skills 10:30-11:20
Theory 11:30-12:20
Psyc Lab 2:30-3:20

Tuesday
Intro to Psyc as Social Science 10:00-10:50
Skills for Music Therapy 2:30-3:50
Wind Ensemble 4:30-6:30
Community Orchestra 7:00-9:30

Wednesday
Basic Skills 10:30-11:20
Theory 11:30-12:20
Oboe Lesson 12:30-1:30
Reed Class 1:30-2:30

Thursday
Intro to Psyc as Social Science 10:00-10:50
Skills for Music Therapy 2:30-3:50
Wind Ensemble 4:30-6:30

Friday
Basic Skills 10:30-11:20
Theory 11:30-12:20

so the only really long day i have is Tuesday.. which isn't so bad.. but yeah..

so New Years!!!

my resolution:

is to do better in skewl.. and not to give up in anything too quickly.. try my hardest...
is to be patient.. and have faith..wait for things to occur naturally.. instead of forcing them to happen when i want them to

haha.. thats a lot of hard things.. i kno.. but i'm gonna try.. so if u ever hear me saying i give up.. please encourage me.. i need all the help i can get..

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Sigh!!! aaah.. its so nice to finally be done exams and have no worries.. 4 exams.. all done!! i think i did pretty good on most of them.. well except for psyc.. which i BOMBED!!!!.. i still pass the course.. i think.. but im not really too sure... hopefully they'll bell curve it up!!but yeah... i'm officially done exams !!! woohoo!!!

well actually.. not quite.. i still have jury to do tommorow.... its 3:45pm.. and i'm worried shitless for it.. and i dun think i even should.. considering.. i've been praticing my ass for it... but i kno me.. and i'll definetly screw up tommorow!!!

but yeah..

15 days.... till:

1) home cooked meal
2) my own bed
3) my own room
4) christmas tree w/lots of decorations..
5) snow!! and lots of snow!!
6) all my cds'ers
7) all my mcbc'ers
8) sushi!!!!!!
9) restaurant food.. not cheap ass vanier food!!
10) My MOMMI!!!.. and im proud to say so...
11) getting to see someone special... !!!!!

exams start on friday.. and i havne't even reallly started to study for that exam yet..
here's my schedule:

wednesday dec 3 - scales test
- basic skills individual exam
friday dec 5 - psyc 4pm
sunday dec 7 - woodwind studio class
- reed class
tuesday dec 9 - music theory exam 330pm
wednesday dec 10 - basic skills final exam 430pm
thursday dec 11 - music therapy exam 4pm
friday dec 12 - oboe jury 345pm
saturday dec 13 - train home 955am

long two weeks!! aah!!!!


ppl to get christmas gifts for:

MCBC
sam
jo
tiff
jess lam
jess ip
cyrus
godfey
jer
cathy
lil rachel

cards for:
amanda
lydia
jon
guy
rachel
joyce
eleana
peter 10 shiny 1996 pennies


CDS
des
chris
frankie

cards for:
leppo
shay
elise
ariana
sarah
james
andrew

family
mommie
daddi
ivan
miranda
6e
elaine

wcbc
wynne
fred
wai lit
manry

cards:
valerie
victor
max
raymond & alice


yeah.. so i'm totally gonna blow all my $$ away b/c of christmas presents and cards!! aah!!! someone wanna donate money to me?? haha.. wait.. i have to donate money to peter and jer first!! hmm.. how's that gonna work????

anyhwo.. gotta go back to lots of work and studying

so i went over to london for the weekend.. and i gotta say.. u lucky asses!!! ugh.. have some much better than here in ghetto windsor.. so not fair!!!
for example:

1) jo's dorm room.. like twice my room size.. and she has double too!! and oh closet space... ugh!!!! ok how is this fair?? jo.. has like half the clothes i ahve..and she has more closet space than me!!! OOH!!! i luv ya jo..

2) dorm food... how come there's is better than ours?? how come? not fair.. i want decent dorm food

3) East Town PIZZA!!! they have a really good pizza place rite outside campus gates.. massive slice for $3!!!! and what do we have?? not even a good pizza place.. ugh

4) RICHMOND street. their dt is so much better.. lots of lil boutiques.. such as elizabeth noel, green earth.. archies..

5) Cafe Demetres.. we dun have one!! they do.. i wanna have desserts.. waaaa waaah!


now that i'm done complaining.. heres what i gotta say about my weekend..


Friday:

- train to london.. was so tired.. slept the whole 2 hours..
-took a taxi to syndeham hall...
-saw jo's room.. met her roomate.. honestly when she said her roomie was psycho. i didn't believe. but she is.. haha i mean that in a nice way.. hehe :)
-hung out for a hour or so..
-frankie came to pick me up
-went to essex hall.. saw jenna on the way there
-shay came over
-frankie made dinner!!!!!!! OOOOOh!!!! i didn't kno frankie even knew how to cook.. altho he did have a lil sauce problem.. hehe...
-shay left.. hung out.. watch cartoons with frankie
-went to cafe demetres.. jo was there w/friends.. frankie came too
-took taxi back to dorm

Saturday:

early morning
-played monopoly with natalie, jo, jo's roomate..
-mad fun.. u dun understand.. so much fun!!!!
4am.. went to bed

later that morning.. 11ish
-woke up..
-had breakfast at syndehnam caf
-went out to shop with jo and natalie.. around 1
-we walked all the way from main gates western to like almost VIA rail.. richmond.. thats pretty far!!!
-we went shopping along the way tho.. lots of kewl lil boutiques
-such as elizabeth noel, boxwoods, archies,
-had lunch at quiznos.. i missed the yummi subs.. :'(
-took a bus to white oaks.. shopped some more
-left at like 7:45..
-went to perfect image.. got my right ear cartilage pierced!!! woohoo..
-jo did too
-took taxi back to Easttown Pizza. bought amazing pizza!! yummi
-went back. .played monopoly some more..
- and then trivia pursuit.. with a bunch of ppl from jo's floor.. till like 2ish..

sunday
-woke up around 12..
-got ready to leave
-walked to Easttown to get another pizza for trip back
-took taxi to via rail..
-sat there waited for train
-got on train.. slept and slept.. till train arrived back in windsor...

all in all.. western weekend was fun!! thanx jo.. and all her floormates..
thanx shay and frankie.. for entertaining me on friday. lots of fun

so my list of things i bought over 8 hours and $350 later..

1) new boots.. from aldo..

2) new modrobes.. light blue.. mad cheap $18

3) these kewl lights.. for miranda's christmas present

4) b-day present for lauralei.. soap and bath salts..smell realli pwetty

5) christmas present for roomate.. soap and bath confetti..

6) new scarf.. roxy.. but not b/c it was roxy. but b/c it matched with my jacket.. realli.. nothign to do with roxy.. honestly..

7)got my cartilage pierced

8) bought lots of food..ate way too much


my next missions:

1) get most of my christmas shopping done b4 i got home.. which is the 13th.. i think..but then i dunno.. i kinda do have exams in 3 weeks.. hmm??

2) get my belly pierced.. no nerves there.. its just fat.. so mom will let me

3) tattoo... still thinking about that.. its kinda gonna be there forever so i dunno.. and if i do.. $130 .. thats a lot

4) start studying for my exams.. aah!!!!!

5) make plans for new years.. christmas is out..cuz up in ottawa with 'rents and miranda and ivan..

6) start thinkin about summer.. its a lil early.. but skewls over in less than 5 months.. aah!!


one big thing


Happy Birthday Lauralei.. 18th!!!



2 smaller things:

sammi n godfrey: thanx for the monkey and book.. did u kno the monkey's called bobo? coincidence or did u actually kno?

jo: thanx for the piercing..

last note:
i had a very good b-day weekend.. thanx everybody!!!

i'm out

so.. i'm 18 now.. for 19 hours and 5 minutes.. and i kinda feel a lil bit older.. now too much.. just a lil bit.. but wanna just give props to more ppl

aimee
becky
natalie
nicole
tracy my "roomate"
Sully.. from next door
Mommy
ivan
jenna
frankie
cap
sarah salomon
edgar
joycey woycey

long distance props

robbie.. all the way from england
macy..my cuz.. all the way from scotland
vera.. from hk
joey..my cuz.. from hk
kevin.. from australia..
camill.. from bc


mad props to
lydia
jess ip
amanda
tiff

for mailing me a card!! thanx!!

mad props to

d
chris

special phone call.. wow i'm special!


MAD MAD PROPS

to Samantha Tam


w12.11.03


to sindy:
happy birthday!

have a delightful cakeful, ice creamful and chocolateful birthday! purple is a wonderful colour because it looks like taro...bbt?

posted by echephron at 12.11.03


check it out..



and last but not least


Happy 18th Birthday to Kyle..

my Birthday Buddy!


its just too bad i'm older than you.. 4 hours. 9 minutes.. I can boss you around!! wooho!!!

Happy 18th Birthday To Me

so ive officially be 18 for aproximately 1.5 hours.. and i gotta say.. feels absolutely no differnce.. thanx to those who wished me a hppy b-day

in no order
cy
jo
sam
jer
clement
jess ip
lydia
amanda
wai lit
manry
wynne
fred
sarah savage
aimee
lauralei
trevor tuba boi
lisa my "ra"
graeme
sarah salomon
my sis..
joey. my cuz

mad props to
lydia
jess ip
amanda

for mailing me a card!! thanx!!

so yeah.. i'm 18.. i can officially buy lottery tickets.. no more botherin jer.. and godfrey for them.. hehe :)
i can vote.. ooh.. federal election.. occuring soon.. wooho!! i can make a difference.. and oh.. i can buy porn.. great.. just #1 thing i wanna do..


can't wait till next year.. i can buy booze.. and cigs. not that i drink or smoke.. but just to be able to say i can!!!
sweet!!!

i finally realized today.. how much i am actually worth to my friends.. and u know what is?? i was a lil surprised..


NOTHING!!!!!!!!

absolutely nothing.. i mean i never expected to be worth a lot.. but at least just a lil something.. just even the tiniest lil amoutn.. i didn't know that i was nothign to them.. worth absolutely nothing


i mean.. this coming weekend is my birthday weekend.. and i told my friends.. that i was gonna come spend the weekend with them.. thats how much i wanted to get to spend time with them.. cuz i missed them.. i wanted to be with them.. get to enjoy some happy moments with them.. and i told them like weeks in advance.. and when i told them.. they were like.. oh yeah.. i'll be so much fun.. i can't wait..


and now i found out now.. that out fo the ones i asked and was hoping to get to hang out with.. only one is actually gonna be able to hang out with me.. one decided to go home.. althought i told them.. another decided that he didn't have tiem for me!!

i mean.. is it too much to ask to have ur friends to spend one day together? not even.. just a few hours on a friday nite with u?? especially since ur paying $50 for a train fare to go visit them?? $50 that i had to pay out of my own birthday money.. to go visit them?? thats how much i missed them.. and wanted to see them

and the decency of them.. they couldn't even bother to tell me.. until i asked what was gonna happen.. for this coming weekend.. i mean..

and this made me realize.. i'm nothign to them.. they don't care.. at all..

i mean.. i've spent the so many years with these ppl.. and i thoght that we were friends.. in fact good friends.. and i guess...

it was all just my imagination.. i was never anything to them.. just a figment of my imagination..

makes u wonder.. how many other ppl think that way??how many other ppl don't treasure u? how many other ppl could care less if u weren't there?? how many ppl wouldn't even notice if u had disappeared?? how many other people had never cared?
how many??

appaarently, for me...

a lot.

so i was studying.. and got a lil tired.. and i decided to redo my lay out again.. and what was suppose to be 30 minutes at the tops.. ended up being 3 hours.. i was trying this and trying that.. and now its 6:10am .. and i havne't gone to bed quite yet.. I have class at 10:30.. and a midterm at 7pm too.. and I"M sitting here contemplating.. should i go to bed or just stay up till after class and then go to bed??

i kno.. this is so bad for my body.. but sometimes.. its just weird.. its like there's a certain line that i pass.. and once i pass that line.. i can't fall asleep or even get tired for that matter.. mine is somewhere around 3am.. once i pass that line.. i dun yawn or anything.. till like 3pm the next day.. i guess its kinda my adrenalin line?? if there's such a thing..

so yeah.. i changed my layout.. its quite cool now.. piano.. and music.. which is very much so me!! woohoo.. now i just have to figure out.. how to put pictures up.. hmmm..

outz

Trip to the Zoo


CDS'ers


MCBC People


My Family

---------------------------------Is it Too Late???--------------------------------------Its been a few days.. and its getting closer and closer to the end of the semester.. and i realized.. i haven't really been applying myself to university quite yet.. yeah thats rite.. 3/4 of the way in .. and i still ahve really applied myself.. I'm doing pretty good in my courses.. except for psyc..

Psyc.. my avg rite now is like a 60.. and it could be much better.. it could be.. if i studied.. read the chapters.. and oh.. most importantly.. showed up for class.. i've been to what?? 3 out of 6 classes... part of the problem being its monday nite 7-10.. long long day for me.. and then nite classes.. other part being.. me just being lazy.. not forcing myself to go to class..

i swear.. i could do so much better.. but i just.. can't find myself sitting down to do the work, studying... reading...

i tell myself, ok.. tonite.. i'm going to study.. chapter blah blah blah.. and read chapter blah blah blah.. and instead.. i find myself sitting at my desk.. chatting on msn or playing stupid games on yahoo.. for hours and hours... its like i'm addicted or something

and its just psyc thats mainly the problem.. i can force myself to study for theory, or basic skills, or music therapy.. but psyc.. i look at the book.. and i get bored already.. i guess it mite b/c i have no interest in psyc? and i do in the other subjects? for eg.

theory.. i'm actually doing better in than before.. i've had 2 midterms and 2 assignments.. i did alrite on my 1st midterm.. 74%..and 77% on my assignment.. and i just had an assignment and midterm this week.. and i studied for it.. and i think i did better.

basic skills.. i was on a roll.. A+.. till this week.. i've had 6 tests.. and all of them 85% and higher till the one i had on wednesday.. i kinda forgot to study and plus i missed 2 classes before that test.. cuz i was sick.. and i got 67%.. i mean.. its still semi-ok.. but could be so much better.. i have a test on monday.. mad studying for it.. i realy wanna have a A avg.. in this course

therapy.. i really enjoy this course.. so i guess thats probably why i'm doing pretty good.. considering its a "memorY'" course.. like have to remember names and dates.. and criterias.. and characteristics and stuff.. normally.. i dun do so good in this type of course.. but i've been doing alrite.. ive had 2 tests and an assignment.. 78% on the test, 99% on the assignment.. now the 2nd test.. i didn't really study for.. so i didn't do so good. but still..for not studying it was pretty good.. i have a test this thursday.. started studying already.. so should be good

wind ensemble... can't really say what mark i have in this course.. cuz i dunno.. but i mean.. if i pratice and show up for rehearsals. can't be that bad.. and i ahve been praticing.. and only actually missed one rehearsal.. b/c of the stupid stones.. so im ok for that too

private lesson.. i'm kinda a lil worried about this.. i have to perform for a jury.. in dec.. 12th to be exact.. 3:45pm... and i have to play 2 movements of the Saint-saens Sonata for Oboe and Piano.. My teacher and I haven't really gone thru much of it.. if any.. and I ahve less than a month to prepare it to top notch.. and i only see her once a week for 1 hr... and thats it.. i've been praticing.. but its hard to get something to top notch in one month.. it really is.. and considering jury is worth 50% of my final mark.. the other 50% being how i do in our lessons.. and i've been gettint 27, 28, or 29 out of 30 for that.. so its good.. but if i screw up on my jury.. i swear I'm f*cked..

so i guess.. i could be working so much harder.. and its kinda never too late? or maybe? i dunno.. i actually forced myself to go study in the library.. i was planning on going for 2 hrs at least.. ended up being 1 hr only .. cuz library closes at 10pm.. and i went at 830... i gotta start forcing myself more.. i got half a chapter done.. in just 1 hour.. which is pretty good

i realized.. that the computer and msn.. and real player.. and tv episodes.. had this uncontrollable power over me.. and what i do.. and my time.. and u know wut.. i really need to cut back.. so i've decided... i'm only actually going to go online and "talk" after what my goals for the day have been accomplished.. or at least to the best of my ability.. so i'll only blog 3 times a week?? maybe less.. depending.. definetly only once or even not at all during exams.. i'm staying home sundays.. for sure.. to study.. and saturday afternoons.. to study.. no shopping or anythign.. unless i have a "really" breezy week..

so yeah.. you'll be hearing less of me.. and reading less of me.. from this day forward.. which is a good thing for me.. cuz this comp stuff.. really killing me.. cuz i'm also staying up till like 3am.. to chat with ppl and stuff..

definetly..

DEPRIVATION OF SLEEP!!!

5 hours.. its a ok amount.. but i'm dying from it.. i'm the kinda person.. who needs a good 6-7 hours a nite.. or 5 during the night.. and 1-2 hr nap during the day... so also.. if u see me online at like 3am.. message me!!!! and YELL at me!!! as meanly as you can.. cuz i need rest..and sleep

Thanx..

Bobo.. Out

i'm officially gonna be a Best Buddy..




its an organization that pairs adults with developmental disabilities with a uni student. We become their friend, that can always talk to, rely on, etc. We have to talk to them once a week on the phone, and twice a month, take them out to activities.. I"m so excited!! it'll be so much fun!!! woohoo :)


aah my week this week is gonna be so boring..

not much to do...

i have a theory midterm on wednesday.. but i'm all good for it.. so i'm not worried

aside from that nothing..

however next week.. AAAH!!!!

Skills Test on monday
Music Therapy Test on Thursday
Psyc Midterm on Friday

aah!! i should start studying but i dunno. i dun really feel like it

i dunno.. we'll see

hehe

so nov is slowly creepin up and making me think...

the Big 1-8

how much of my life will be changed b/c i reached that mark? i mean i'm technically not a child then.. i'm an adult.. and i'd be expected to be so different.. but i dun wanna be different.. i wanna be the same way i am now when i am 40 or 50 or even 80.. kinda strange thought tho.. dunno.. what to think of turning 18.. i mean.. Yeah .. its my birthday.. and i'm a year older.. but turning 18 means i have to mature.. be older.. and i dun really wanna..

ppl have already said that university has killed my childhood.. i'm no longer immature, childish. but i wann be.. sometimes.. wut happens if when i turn 18.. i'm no longer able to at all enjoy the childhood things??? AAAAH!!!!

i dunno even kno what im' talking about.. oh well

My New Favourite Song:

Flying Without Wings - Rubben Studdard

Everybody's looking for a something
One thing that makes it all complete
You'll find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be

Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lovers eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you've found that special thing
You're flying without wings

Some find it sharing every morning
Some in their solitary lives
You'll find it in the words of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry

You find it in the deepest friendship
The kind you cherish all your life
And when you know how much that means
You've found that special thing
You're flying without wings

So, impossible as they may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
Cos who's to know which one you let go
Would have made you complete

Well, for me it's waking up beside you
To watch the sun rise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
at any given time or place

It's little things that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine
And it's like flying without wings
Cos you're my special thing
I'm flying without wings

You're the place my life begins
You'll be where it ends
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you bring
I'm flying without wings

another good quote.. this one from the now deceased
Madame Chiang -Kai -Shek.. also known as Soong Mai Ling



We write our own destiny; we become what we do. - Madame Chiang Kai Shek


She was one of the Soong sisters..

"One loved power, One loved money, One loved China"


There's a really good movie about these 3 sisters. Mai Ling married Chiang Kai Shek, first president of Taiwan, Ai-Ling married China's finance minister, and creator of Hong Kong Bank, H.H. Kung. Ching-Ling married Dr. Sun Yat-sen, The "Father of Modern China".
Dr.Sun Yat Sen is a cool man. We share the same birthday!!!

November 12!!! except he was born in 1866.. and i in 1985.. 116 years later.. woohoo!!!!

but yeah.. let us now..

have a moment of silence for her..

she was 106...

I was searching for some quotes. for a paper of mine.. some of these are really good

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.


Mother Teresa

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"The future belongs to those
who believe in the beauty of their dreams."

Eleanor Roosevelt

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look. To affect the quality of the day - that is the highest of arts. - Henry David Thoreau

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Friends are those people who know the words to the song in your heart and sing them back to you when you have forgotten the words." (Anonymous)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------



i kno another really good one about.. picking ur path in life. but i can't remember.. it was my in graduating blurb .. something about the path that others take.. something about creating your own path..

i dunno

so i was sitting here.. and kinda bored.. with the winnie the pooh layout..

1st- just cuz..
2nd- hard to read the words
3rd- wanted a song with something

so i went searching.. and they didn't have any good "music" skins.. that i liked aside from this one.. its hikaru utadu.. i like her songs.. so it works out good

so this is gonna be my new layout.. at least for a lil while.. one of my friends here.. is really good with html.. so i mite be able to find a good layout.. that i will be quite happy with.. that i won't have to change ever again..

so yeah.. lates

kinda forgot to blog about this earlier.. so yeah..
my W.E concert.. was amazing..!!!
i was kinda worried about it before. knowing me.. i feared the worst.. that i was gonna screw up my parts.. and make some really ugly duck noises.. but i did good.. no ugly duck noises.. no playing wrong notes.. everything came together.. great.. amazing!!! woohoo!!! so proud of myself..

it was kinda kewl having mom n dad come to hear the concert.. i appreciated.. they drove the 4 hours just to hear it.... and then they had dinner with me.. and then went home.. i mean.. a whole day just to come.. was so great.. it felt kinda nice to have them there.. just to kno.. someone came to support me.. cuz i kno some ppl didn't anybody there.. it was a great feeling.. just knowin..


we played a few diff pieces that day..

holtz - 2nd suite
cichy-bugs
grainger - ye old banks
grainger- faroe island dance
whitacre - noisy wheels of joy
old churches.. forget the composer
old comrades.. forget the composer

was great... we have our next performance nov 21..

we're playing some interesting, yet disonant pieces.. waking angels for example.. omg.. i swear u could play all the wrong notes.. and at the wrong beats .. and no one would even notice.. this piece.. features the ugliest notes on every instrument possible..
so weird.. but i mean.. thats 20th century music for ya..

so yeah..

today.. was AMAZING!!! i swear it was.. went to windsor symphony.. omg.. so good..

alrite.. at first.. i thought windsor symphony.. can't be any good.. rite? i mean in comparison to tso?? i mean tso is world reknowed.. and wut not.. but wso.. is just as good.. well not really.. but they're pretty good.. for the size that they are..

tonites perfomance was

Brent Lee - voca me cum benedictis (World Premiere)

Rachmaninov- Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini

Berlioz- Symphonie fantastique


and the cool thing was.. well there were 2 cool things.. one.. 3rd movement of berlioz.. beautiful.. absolutely amazing.. english horn and oboe duet solo thing.. amazing..
2nd cool thing.. brent lee.. well actually dr.brent lee... he's my theory prof.. which is really cool.. cuz i've never met anyone who's composed an orchestral piece and had it performed by a symphony before.. amazing.. so kewl.. anyhow.. he's the new composer in residence for windsor.. which is another kewl thing.. cuz normally only big symphony orchestras have composer in residence's.. not small ones.. which i mean.. is a big stepping stone.. they're getting there..

Lee's Piece.. was really good.. it was orchestrated perfectly.. a wide display of the different instruments.. was really beautiful.. i really enjoyed it..

berlioz.. amazing!!!! just amazing!!!

Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini - the solo pianist.. was incredible.. and the kewl thing.. he's my age.. studying music at juillard.. what i would give.. to be that amazing on the piano.. omg.. so good!!! his music was so emotional.. so touching.. incredible!!!

and it was really fun to get to go with all the music ppl.. lots of ppl from the school of music was there...

aimee - french horn
jenna - french horn
lauralei - trumpet
colin - trumpet
me- queen of the oboe
graeme - trombone
matt - tuba
katie- clarinet
vanessa -percussion
jenn-clarinet
dan- trombone/piano
trevor - the tuba guy
robynne - flute/piccolo


and a whole lot of other ppl.. most of them upper years.. so dun really know them that well.. but yea

was so much fun.. and the tickets.. mad cheap..

robynne and i were sitting lower floor, W10-W11.. and the tickets were $15.. no tax.. no nothing.. so good.. there were seats at cheap as $6.. but they were like mad up front.. had to look up at the orchestra.. not really good.. but i mean.. $15 for pretty good seats.. Yeaa!!!

and i think i'm probs gonna go back for a few times too.. they're lots of good things being performed.. dido and aneas.. romeo and juliet.. halloween pops.. mad kewl

so yeah
another kewl thing about the symphony...

when we were waiting for the taxi.. outside cleary international centre.. i saw a
LAMBORGHINI!!!!!!

so kewl.. i haven't seen one in so long.. it was a brand new one.. mad nice!!! AAAH!!!!! so amazing.. just a great day


only bad thing..

i woke up at 10:30.. hoping to get some of my hwk done.. and i ended up chatting and playing games.. watching tv episodes.. on my comp.. didn't do anythign.. well .. one thing.. but compared to what i had planned.. my bad!!!

here's wut i have to do for monday

1) article summary (3pages or so)
2) article summary (3pages or so)
3) Ames Room Lab (1 page)
4) Study for Basic Skills Test
5) Budgeting for Dad
6) Theory Assignment


so much stuff.. not even funnie.. considering the article summaries will take me 1 hr each.. the lab.. 1/2 hr.. study for 1 hr.. budgeting takes a 1/2 hr.. theory assignment.. anywhere between 1 hr.. to 3 hrs.. thats like wut?

7 hours of work.. yikes!!!

i'm so screwed.. looks like its an all nighter for me tommorow..



another exciting thing

my w.e concert is tommorow.. woohoo!!! W.E being wind ensemble.. our first performance together tommorow at 3pm.. it'll be fun.. i'm hoping i won't screw up.. there's lil parts.. where i play lil solos.. or the oboe is extrememly exposed.. and i've been having lil probs with it.. i can play it fine.. by myself.. when praticing.. but in the midst of all my bandmates.. i screw up.. i dun kno why.. but yeah

on that note.. sleep would be good.. wouldn't wanna fall asleep tommorow on stage.. . lates

man.. that was one short thanksgiving weekend.. incredibly short.. it ended up being not half as good as i would have hoped.. here's why..

friday nite: bunch of ppl going out.. once again.. no body knows who's going .. or going where? what time?? honestly.. they never plan these things.. they just expect someone to just do it for them.. it wasn't going to me.. i'm sorrie.. i've had enough of it.. oh and to make it worse.. where did they did decide to go... on a friday nite? at 10:30pm.. Mickey D"s!!!! who the hell decides to go to mickey d's on a friday nite.. with like 15 other ppl?? who?? ugh...

saturday nite: kinda was hoping that this nite would be more fun than the nite before.. kinda was.. but kinda wasn't either.. went out to boston pizza with d, chris, shay, jason, frankie.. that was fun.. loitered in the parking lot.. chilling.. that was fun too.. went over to d's cuz's house party.. personally.. i'm not much for hanging out with 29 year old strangers.. especially when they're all high and shit.. but i mean.. it was hanging out with d, and all the guys.. so it was ok.. it could have been worse...

sunday: was the one actual good nite.. not amazing.. but at least wasn't too screwed up.. went to outback with auntie eva, uncle tam, nicolas, mom, dad, ivan... that was fun.. man.. i hadn't eaten so much in one day!!!!!! cocount shrimp, bloomin onion, calamari, grilled shrimip, 8oz steak, potatoes, and like 20 cups of ice tea.. man.. my stomach started to hurt.. too much food.. went back to auntie evas.. play majhong.. fun fun.. hadn't done that in a while.. and then went home early to chill with mom...and miranada and ivan.. not my bro ivan... other ivan.. sis' bf... ivan.. bought over their dog.. lang meu.. such a cutie.. aaw.. she sloppers all over u.. but she's loads of fun

monday: went to teppanyaki at taste of japan... with family.. and 6e and elaine.. that was fun.. hadn't had teppanyaki ina while other.. i've been to taste of japan.. last time was jo, tiff, jess lam., and i.. mad eating that day too..

but i mean.. my weekend was relatively boring.. and not exciting.. didn't really get to hang out with ppl i really wanted to.. and when we did hang out.. it was screwed up by stupid bois.. ugh!!!!!

wowo this is cool!! i'm going home at 1:30 pm.. yeah.. just 12 more hours to go!! woo hoo.. oh this is kinda kewl..

www.luradio.ca

my bud jay from high skewl is a dj on this.. lakehead radio.. on thursday nite.. from 12-2 am.. just u kno.. if ur awake then. its kewl.. he sounds much different on the radio.. than on the radio.. in his words.. "sexy".. ha

so i'm going home tommorow.. watch t.o

look out big old badie. Sindy.. woOO Wooo!!!!

ha.. its 1:32 in the am.. and i'm going crazy.. too many drinks.. i swear.. man.. gotta go to bed.. have class tommorow.. and wut not.. so yeah.. chilz

goodbye windsor.. see u soon t.o

so today.. had my last midterm for now.. theory.. wasn't actually that bad... so glad i'm done!!! woohoo!!! yeah.. haha sux to be the ppl who still have midterms.. haha.. laugh at u.. all of u.. hehe...

so two more days till i go home for thanksgiving.. can't wait!!!! get to see all these ppl again.. will be so much fun!!! have a whole list of stuff to do!!!

Friday nite:
-go home around 5:15..
-go shopping for care package with sammi
-go dinner with sammi
-go out with jer, sammi, jo, jon, joyce, edgar, and whoever else
-sleep till i can't sleep no more

Saturday
-10:00 go dt. shopping for oboe supplies with mommi
-lunchtime.. with mommie.. yeah!!!
-go to doctors.. with mommie.. yeah
-afternoon go shopping for clothes w/mommi
-nite.. go out with skewlers.. woohoo!!!! no mini putt.. plz!!!!!

Sunday
-go to church
-have lunch with ppl.. maybe family.. maybe church ppl?? dunno yet
-thanksgiving dinner with auntie eva.. yeah pool.. yeah tennis!!!!!

Monday
-dun wake up till late
-thanksgiving lunch with 6e and elaine.. and TOTO!!!!! woo hoo.. i luv toto
-7:05 train to Windsor...


wowow.. my weekend is jammed pack with lots of fun activities.. yeah..
anyhow.. its 12:30.. gotta go

oh.. last thing..
check out the link to my test.. please do it!! its fun..

Props to peter!! he got the highest score!!! Tiss tiss on everybody else. they all failed!!!

its been a good day so far.. not much exciting but still fun.. woke up nice n earli.. went to worship.. i kinda feel bad.. i was so tired today.. i got home at like 1... was online till lik 230.. and then went ot bed.. had to wake up at 8.. so didn't get much sleep.. *yawn*... anyhow.. went to worship.. slept thru most of it.. and then went back to dorm.. i was just chillin.. talking to some ppl.. praticed the guitar till around 1.. went to buffet windsor.. with church ppl.. was fun.. didn't eat that much.. buffet food is never very appetizing.. so after that.. went back to res.. thats was 3 pm.. played some guitar.. downloaded some tab/chords for some cool songs.. "we all live in a yellow submarine.. yellow submarine.. yellow submarine." great song.. anyhow.. 5.. i get a call.. to go play ball/badminton... i was like.. ok.. fun fun.. went with some church ppl.. st.denis athletic center.. played badminton with pauleen.. and a yan.. and victor.. and some other guy.. dunno his name... woops... and then i played bball for a while.. just shootin n stuff.. didn't play with the guys.. cuz i never play with guys...

a typical bballin boi is the biggest hog.. and just completely ignores u.. i hate that.. its like.. girls can ball too.. and sometimes even better than the bois.... they think they're so amazing.. and then they're ignore on the court.. never pass the ball to u.. even if you're wide open and are gonna to make the shot.. 100%... its so stupid.. urgh.. im just sayin.. this is the typical guy.. so i didn't play...

it was kinda sweet.. just praticing my shots.. not having played for like 1 year. and then played today.. i got quite some many 3 pointers in. kinda sweet.. i think the two guys who were shootin there were kinda surprised too.. me.. short n out of shape lil girl.. who doesn't look like she can play at all.. gets 3 pointers in.. and not just lucky shots.. they were sweet swish.. so yeah.. it ended off on a good note..

tommorow.. class test in basic skills.. 930.. bright n early.. should be fun.. :)
and then midterm .. for theory.. for wednesday
n then friday!! Home time!!! i get to see everybody.. sammi.. and jo.. and jess.. and jess. .n amanda.. n lydia.. n jer.. n peter.. n rachel.. n jon.. n joyce.. n everybody else too.. woo hoo should be lots of fun!!

had a good day today...there was this amazing music therapy worksite.. omg!!! you don't understand.. it was amazing.. i just saw there in awe.. and like.. omg!!! so amazing.. i kno.. this is what i'm meant to do.. when the guest speaker.. amber.. just talked about passion and how there was this great feeling when u kno.. u've touched a lil's one heart.. when everybody else abandons them.. u try your hardest to try to move them.. even its just one lil step.. a smile.. a clap.. anything.. there's this overwhelming feeling.. and its amazing.. I know.. i doubted.. whether this was the rite thing for me.. and i kno.. i just kno.. its hard to explain.. it just overwhelmed today.. by how touching it can be.. and when she described what its like .. i imagined myself there.. in that school.. helping those children.. participatin in the activities she taught us.. I know!!!

went to lunch with some of the girls.. and was fun.. then did a lil bit of praticing.. i admit.. i haven't really praticed all that much these last 2 weeks.. cuz of the stupid stones.. but it was fun.. elizabeth.. taught me this new uh.. ombiture .. and its kewl... i have to pratice whistling.. thats how i get a good ombiture..

went to belle air.. they have the book!!!! i've been looking for this book forever.. not even gary's downtown had it.. and stupid oboe stores on internet.. nope.. but belle air.. yup

"The Oboist's Concert Album" Compiled and Revised by Albert J.Andraud..

great book.. all the most famous oboe solos and excerpts all compiled into one book.. i used it for my auditions.. and i kept on trying to find one.. cuz i couldn't take wendy's so.. yeah i found it now.. and it was only like $20 bucks.. or so.. including tax.. but hey.. there's always tax... bought some new pics.. they're pink!!! yeah..

went to the mall with lauralei, aimee, sarah and ashley.. bought a pair of black pants for wind ensemble from old navy.. a pair of cord from gap.. i swear.. its been a long time since i shopped at gap... dirty girl lip balm from green earth.. a roxy top.. !!!! yeah.. roxy..

went to walmart... bought some glow in the dark halloween stickers.. gonna decorate the room.. and new nail polish.. i swear.. i ahven't bought any in a while..

then went to dinner with norris and jeff.. was fun..

i still gotta study for theory midterm.. its wednesday.. and basic skills test on monday.. at 930... and then friday!!! going home!!! yeah.. can't wait.. i'll get to see sam and jo.. and jer.. and jon.. and rachel.. and joyce.. and cheryl.. and jess lam.. and all my skewlers.. oh.. gonna be great.. can't wait!!!! woohoo...

on the topic of midterms..yesterday was psyc.. i kinda screwed up a lot on it.. i didn't really answer one of the 10 mark essay questions.. and im pretty sure i got quite a good # of m/c questions wrong too.. im pretty sure i passed.. but its definetly not gonna be a 90 or anything... so now.. gotta study nice and hard in hopes of pulling that mark up..

latz

so new layout.. cute eh?? winnie the pooh.. quite the adorable lil thing..

ah man.. i can't wait till thanksgiving.. it'll be so great.. everybody is comign back.. even jer.. and then we can all get to hang out .. man mad fun!!! ha...

and even skewlers are coming back too.. frankie, elise, shay, james, hubbert, all back.. so then do our own lil thanksgiving dinner.. that was decided upon . . i think.. i dun even really know

so yeah.. first midterm tommorow.. and mad psyced about psyc.. haha... its funni.. u kno.. its funny..

yeah.. i'm weird.. but y'all know that already.. ha..

dez emailed me the other asking me what i wanted for my b-day..and i was thinking.. its not even for a while.. but yeah.. i looked around in my room and realized.. there's a lot of stuff missing that i really need.. or actually.. want.. so *hint hint*.. jokes..

1. digi cam
2. dvd-r drive
3. new md (yeah miranda... woo hoo)
4. cordless phone.. i have a ghetto style phone rite now
5. cell phone cover ( din wa hok)
6. love undervcover 2 dvd
7. twins effect dvd
8. new desk lamp
9. new wall lamp
10. more stuffed animals
11. piggy bank
12. daniel bedingfield cd.. (jo.. hehe)
13. new daniel chan cd
14. lord of the rings trilogy set.
15. photo albums
16. photo (seung ga)...
17. my cartilage pierced.. (jo.. u still owe me a.. from last b-day)
18. i wanna get a tattoo.. but dunno
19. a car.. (anybody wanna buy me a mini???)
20. trip to bc.. ( i miss janice and camill...)
21. new snowboard
22. new roxy snow jacket
23. new roxy snow pants
24. someone to go snowboarding in windsor with..
25. new cd player
26. a tv.. or a tv on comp program
27. stereo..
28. new wallet..
29. new speakers for comp.. screwed up..
30. i want my g license
31. meet jay chou
32. meet edison
33. a brand new house

haha.. obviously some of those things aren't gonna happen.. but no harm in saying it anyway.. maybe the birthday bunni will hear me..

ha.. birthday buni.. they dun exist.. i just made them up..

oh.. and u kno who doesn't exist either???

SANTA!!!!!

oh yeah.. santa doesn't exist.. never has.. however.. there does exist .. or use to exist.. a figure just like santa.. thats saint nick..
anyhow.. not gonna start on that..

lates

starting today on a happier note.. i'm trying to figure out whether i should do 40 days with wcbc.. i mean.. at mcbc.. i never did it.. b/c i was all not liking mcbc ... but i mean here.. i'm finding my place.. my belonging.. and in a way.. i feel like i'm being called back to the father.. in the last few years.. ive drifted.. first only a lil bit.. to completely shunning him out of my life.. first it was only skipping sunday school every so often after worship.. to completely not goin to koinonia.. to not even goign to sunday school and occassionaly goign to worship.. at least only when my parents are home.. and even rejecting words of prayer. words of worship.. anything that had anything to do with the christian faith..

in the last 3 years.. i've gone to the extreme.. i've done everything he's told me not to.. and my excuse for doing it.. was i wanted to enjoy life while i still could.. but someone told me that was no reason/excuse to live the way i was.. i didn't listen.. and at moments i even dreaded their conversations.. but now.. i guess i wanna say thanks.. to trying to help me.. even tho i tried to push them away..

they could have chosen to give up on me.. leave me to be. but yet they stuck with me.. challenging me... helping me to find my way back .. and i really do appreciate.. the things.. and at moments then.. i may have said things i shouldn't.. done things i shouldn't.. and i kinda regret the things..

i admit.. there are still questions.. that are unanswered for me.. but at least.. i've gone to the point.. where i realized that i had to turn back.. i realized my mistakes.. and i kno..

thats why.. at this moment.. i'm stopping.. and i'm turning back.. i've reached the big stop..

along the way there have been ppl.. who helped me.. and i believe this is the time to say thanks..

orange
tiff
jess lam
sam
jo
peter
cy
jon wong

i just wanna say thanks.. its greatly appreciated for all the help that you've given me..

thank you.. from the bottom of my heart..

so new layout.. cute eh?? winnie the pooh.. quite the adorable lil thing..

ah man.. i can't wait till thanksgiving.. it'll be so great.. everybody is comign back.. even jer.. and then we can all get to hang out .. man mad fun!!! ha...

and even skewlers are coming back too.. frankie, elise, shay, james, hubbert, all back.. so then do our own lil thanksgiving dinner.. that was decided upon . . i think.. i dun even really know

so yeah.. first midterm tommorow.. and mad psyced about psyc.. haha... its funni.. u kno.. its funny..

yeah.. i'm weird.. but y'all know that already.. ha..

dez emailed me the other asking me what i wanted for my b-day..and i was thinking.. its not even for a while.. but yeah.. i looked around in my room and realized.. there's a lot of stuff missing that i really need.. or actually.. want.. so *hint hint*.. jokes..

1. digi cam
2. dvd-r drive
3. new md (yeah miranda... woo hoo)
4. cordless phone.. i have a ghetto style phone rite now
5. cell phone cover ( din wa hok)
6. love undervcover 2 dvd
7. twins effect dvd
8. new desk lamp
9. new wall lamp
10. more stuffed animals
11. piggy bank
12. daniel bedingfield cd.. (jo.. hehe)
13. new daniel chan cd
14. lord of the rings trilogy set.
15. photo albums
16. photo (seung ga)...
17. my cartilage pierced.. (jo.. u still owe me a.. from last b-day)
18. i wanna get a tattoo.. but dunno
19. a car.. (anybody wanna buy me a mini???)
20. trip to bc.. ( i miss janice and camill...)
21. new snowboard
22. new roxy snow jacket
23. new roxy snow pants
24. someone to go snowboarding in windsor with..
25. new cd player
26. a tv.. or a tv on comp program
27. stereo..
28. new wallet..
29. new speakers for comp.. screwed up..
30. i want my g license
31. meet jay chou
32. meet edison
33. a brand new house

haha.. obviously some of those things aren't gonna happen.. but no harm in saying it anyway.. maybe the birthday bunni will hear me..

ha.. birthday buni.. they dun exist.. i just made them up..

oh.. and u kno who doesn't exist either???

SANTA!!!!!

oh yeah.. santa doesn't exist.. never has.. however.. there does exist .. or use to exist.. a figure just like santa.. thats saint nick..
anyhow.. not gonna start on that..

lates