so weird.. this time back.. everything seems so out of place.. i feel so awkward in canada.. but i shouldn't tho..

skewl doesn't feel right this time around.. my friends @ skewl seem really different.. its like we somehow grew really apart over the summer.... i seem to forgotten everything i've learned in skewl.. my interest seems to somehow have dissipated....

it feels awkward being home.. home doesn't feel like home....driving.. the roads seem different.. i don't really kno how to explain it all..

its kinda like.. somehow i don't really belong here anymore..

wuts up with that??

i've lived here for 90% of my life.. and yet strangely enough.. after living somewhere else for 4.5 months then coming back.. i don't belong anymore??

WTH?

its been a really long time since i left toronto.. and i'm really really excited to go back.. 4 days !! WOOOOOHOOOO!!! tho these last 4 months in hk have been loads of fun.. i miss toronto.. and i miss all my friends.. i miss my house.. i miss having my own room and bed :P

but most of all.. i miss the peace and quiet that is CANADA..

i'm so looking forward to taking the TTC and not having some greasy old man breathing down my neck.. looking forward to walking down the streets of T.O and not having ppl bump into me.. or slap me with their bags ..


i'm excited for school.. i can't believe i said that.. i've never been much of the nerdy type.. im excited for classs.. and getting to make more yummi cakes n stuff.. looking forward to being with my fellow chefs.....

but b4 i come back.. still got some stuff to do..

1) finish some last shopping.. contemplating whether to buy a 100GB hard drive for my laptop..
some CD's and DVD's.. some books for my mommie..some tools for skewl

2) dinner and drinks with the co-workers.. desserts with euds..

3) taking my lil cousins out to play one last time before the summer is over

4) meeting up with my ex-aunt and my cousin..

5) trip to stanley with victor

last but not least

6) gotta figure out how to pack all my crap into 2 suitcase.. they've jacked up the prices for an extra suitcase.. friggin $150US .. no way.. i thought about mailing but 30kg will easily cost me like $85CAD..




coming home soon.. yeah!!!

been back for 3 days short of 3 months.. coming back in like 51 days.. i'm excited... i miss toronto.. i miss all my friends.. i miss my house.. i miss having my own room.. i miss driving.. so much that i miss......

dun get me wrong.. i luv hk too.. i've been having fun.. doing lots in hk..

it happens every year..
from sept - aoril/may.. i miss hong kong and all my hong kong friends..
from may/june - sept.. i miss toronto and all things torontonian...

life has been pretty good...

working six days a week.. avg of 4 hrs a day.. im enjoying the relaxed atmostphere of the centre i work at...liking the kids...

loved hanging out with some torontonians in hk..

went out shopping with jo and cy in mong kok.... gotta love how jo is so complete lost in hk.. haha

saw some movies with cy....

ocean park with sammi and cy... my one and only touristy day so far.. and prolly gonna be the only one.. hahah :P we went on like one of the hottest possible days... sweated like buckets.. omg..

lunch with euds...good chats

drinks and meeting up with some old friends.. godo times

weddings galore... family trips.. playing with the lil cousins..

its been loads of fun.. and more fun to come...

friends bday drinks... beach fun.. junk boat trips.. more karoake.. more teaching.. more shopping.. :) yeah


thats enough of an update i think.. got class to teach in like 10 mins..

miss u all :)

so i've been back in hk for about a month now.. not much has happened.. haven't done anything too excited.. gone shopping.. spent some $... bought some clothes.. bought some shoes .. hung out with some friends.. watched spiderman3. (WASTE OF $$$$$$)

on a good note.. i found an internship spot...

story about that...

i was suppose to intern at this new japanese fusion restaurant in central.. i went to my interview with the exec chef.. and we started talking.. and he was this really really nice british guy.. he started telling me about his experiences in the industry and wut not.. and even tho in the end.. he decided that his soon-to-open restaurant was too busy to have an intern.. he went out of his way to call up a fellow chef friend of his to see if their restaurant was interested.. SO SO SO NICE of him.. and it worked out great..

i now have an internship spot at TRIBUTE.. his friend's restaurant.. its in lower soho.. still central area.... its a small california cuisine restaurant.. opened by a architect..small kitchen staff.. only 5 other guys.. all of whom are really funny and willing to teach :) yeah :) one of them is even kinda cute :P hahahha.. so i'm interning there from now till end of august 3X a week

still gotta find a part time job tho... so broke :( had a few interviews but they weren't quite what i was looking for.. so gotta keep on looking

leaving for a thailand trip in a lil over a week... with my fam and my aunt, uncle n 3 cousins.. haven't travelled with them in like over 10 years.. going to bangkok and river kwai.. :) gonna get a nice tan.. hopefully...excited.. cuz we get to sleep in those river huts at river kwai lodge.. haha :P



not much left to say :P

hope all of you ppl out there are having a good summer.. miss u guys

YIKES!!!!

time is running out and i still have so much to do..


3 exams left.. my 6 hour pratical, my nutrition, and my baking theory..

i'm not too worried about my nutrition or my theory.. but i'm totally freaking out for my pratical..

my pratical was suppose to be a 9 hour exam split between 3 days but beacuse of me leaving early for hk.. i got reschedule to write it this coming sunday 6 hours straight.. which in a way is good thing but in another is a bad thing..

good: get it done and over with in one day, less stress ( only one day of stress), only have to complete it in front of chef and not ppl from the industry, not completing the full exam ( only certain tasks)

bad: less time to pratice.. a very very stressful weekend.. no help from friends.. waking up really early on a sunday


i'm gonna need lots of luck.. wish me LOTS!!!

thought i'd gross you all out ..



i'm a klutz.. i sliced a chunk of my fingernail and the skin underneath in class..

it was worse yesterday.. bleeding and oozing with red skin.. better today.. pics from today :p


enjoy

if there's anything that bugs me the most.. i'd have to say it was ppl's attitude toward so called blue collar jobs.

plumbers, technicians, garbage men, maids, butlers, etc. and most importantly to me chefs.

it reallly pisses me of when ppl just automatically assume that people who have choosen those professions have only done so cuz they can't choose anything else.

i mean.. what's so wrong with all of those jobs that ppl really feel the need to insult us?

example.

a: hey. long time no see.. how have u been?
b: i've been good. what are u up to now?
a: i go to ....... university 4th year.. finishing.... degree. how bout u?
b: oh i go to george brown. i'm studying to be pastry chef.
a: pastry chef? u need to study to be one?
b: yeah. it's quite profesional and challenging.
a: Oh. (stutters for a bit) but anybody can make a cake.
b: its really not that simple.

im seriously just so tired of having to explain myself. so tired of having to defend myself to ppl. don't get me wrong. i love what i'm learning. i love proving ppl wrong about this. i love seeing their faces when i say some hardcore pastry term and they're all confused..

but it still bugs me. i mean you wouldnt go ridiculing a doctor, a teacher, a social worker, a lawyer. so what makes u think u can go ridiculing a plumber, a waiter, a chef?

life suxs..

i no longer have my own car..
my jobs are in jeopardy..
my body is deteriorating in more ways than one.. and not even just because of the car accident
i'm losing faith in myself..
i'm losing faith in others..
life has become a mess..


ppl keep on telling me its gonna be better.. things will always work out.. but i really dun feel like it will.. life just keeps on getting worse for me..


its like i'm falling into a hole.. and i don't even kno where the bottom of this hole is... at least.. if i knew where the hole was.. i kno how much worse its gonna get.. but its so dark.. i dunno kno much more of this i can take..


URGH

Why can't I break the cycle??
Why can't i just correct the wrongs?

just like clockwork.. the time comes again.. .. i find myself committing the same mistakes.. i promised my parents.. i promised my family.. i promised my friends.. and most importantly... I PROMISED MYSELF.. but why is it i can't seem to make things better??and each time i find myself getting worse and worse..

its been 4 years.. and i still haven't gotten any better.. in fact.. i've gotten much worse.. and each time.. i find myself making promises to do better.. trying to figure out ways to correct things.. it just doesn't seem to work..

each time it happens.. i just feel worse and worse.. i disappoint those around me.. they lose faith in me.. i lose faith in myself..

and yet uncontrollablly.. the cycle just continues..

i've run out of options.. and ideas.. and i just really don't know what else there is to do..

perhaps its time to just give up.. give up on this.. give up on trying.. give up on life itself..

overall.. a pretty good christmas break.. got to hang out with lots of ppl.. got to eat lots of food ( a lil too much.. haha ).. got to buy lots of stuff.. :) been good.. and this new year is going off to a pretty good start..

since school ended for the semester.. i've done lots.. gone bowling with the gbc folks.. gone to marche with the piggy.. gone shoppin way too many times.. bought too much stuff.. gone to kbbq.. gone to all u can eat jap buffet.. had 2 christmas family turkey dinners.. hot pot twice.. baked :P yeah gingerbread men.. yeah chocolate cake..

a few more days till school starts again.. still got a lot to do.. gotta grocery shop for girls dinner on thursday.. mmm food... piggy wiggy dinnner on saturday nite :)

then school starts.. time for a new semester.. gotta try a lil harder this semester.. did alright last semester.. could have done much better.. me n my stupid procastination and lazyness..

i do apologize.. this blog is slightly random and not coherent..

56 days since i started my new schooling at george brown.. and i hafta say i've learned a lot..

i've learned:
baguettes
white bread
whole wheat bread
sugar cookies
spritz cookies
pies
tarts
puff pastry
brownies
yule logs
gingerbread
and much much more..

but if there's one thing thats most important..

that is:

if u really enjoy something.. the amount of time and effort spent into it no longer matters.. all that seems important to you will be.. ur doing what u enjoy .. u understand it.. u love it..

so if u ask me now.. was the 3 years wasted away at university worth it??

i'd do it all over again if i can continue to have many more days of this happiness and fun :)

for those who know me.. i'm not really much of a person to volunteer my weekend aways... stay at school voluntarily.. attending class (hahaha)

but the me now.. i actually go to class.. ( well 90% at least).. volunteering at school... hahah



I LOVE THE NEW ME!!! :) :) :)

if there's one thing i enjoy most about birthday weekends.. being able to eat and drink as much as i want.. without at all feeling bad about it.. hahah..

i definetly ate a good amount this week.. and drank a good amount at that too :) weeeeeee

thursday.. started off with all u can eat korean bbq.

friday.. shopping and random snackage with JJ.. everythign from ice-cream to popcorn, to candy to coffee.. haha.. then k nite.. drinks and food

saturday.. lunch.. made myself a lunch consisting of rockets popsicles.. bacon.. ice cream and cake.. yes sad.. i kno... then HUGE dinner @ flo ... wild mushroom soup, with buffola and tomato crostini, sea bass as main dish.. creme brulee for dinner.. and then yummy yummy bday cake..

sunday.. breakfast with my mom at coras... mmm.. waffles and bacon and eggssss... lunch at baton rouge with fred.. huge huge piece of chicken and veggies.. all u can eat japanese buffet dinner with my parents..

urgh.. i feel so fat and bloated rite now.. soo full :P hahahah

and just like clockwork. it comes to that time of the year.. and just like all the rest.. i dread its arrival.. for most ppl.. its one of the happiest times.. but for me..i hate it..

i hate having to worry about it. i hate knowing that nobody remembers.. nobody cares.. i hate how im always left out..

this time of the year just makes me wanna crawl into my bed and not come out for a week..

i always hoped that i would one day be good enough for it.. good enough so that ppl cared.. and so many years into my life and im still not..

i hate this time of the year.. and i just wish it would all go away

so my friend has got me on this thing.. click on the links and pick 5-6 either positive/negative words about me...

fill out my nohari window

fill out my johari window


thanx guys :)

its been quite the eventful week.. fun.. lots of good times..

to explain:

i have a whole week off skewl.. something known as intersession week.. haha.. everybody's jealous.. yes i kno.. and then my work schedule for this week was pretty wicked.. i don't work till friday at 5.. so after being bothered by some ppl in windsor about visiting.. i decided to take a lil road trip..

monday: left newmarket for london with krystle.. left around 430pm.. got into london around 7.. freak snow and rain all the way in.. went to crabby joes with jo, frankie, james, alex, and eric.. pretty good.

tuesday: breakfast at paragon with sam, jo, and godfrey.. m&m meat shops.. grocery shopping. went back to jo's.. napped for an hour.. drove in to windsor. trio outing with eunice and ryan.. a&p grocery shopping.. bulk barn.. eunice napped. ryan studied.. i sat around.. haha .. went out for dinner @ moxies @ devonshire with eunice, kenneth, nelson, norris, wynne, sarah, wait lit, danit.. that was fun. i missed them :P walked around devonshire with eunice, norris, wynne and kenneth.. then drove kenneth back to st.clair.. dairy queen for ms.piggy herself. drove ms.piggy home.. then went to wynne's.. hung out for a while.. went to wai lit's... i luv chatting with him.. haha.. lovely how our convo's are always about his obsession with fob girls.. hahahhahah..
went back to eunice's.. chatted and then slept..

wednesday: woke up around 830.. eunice woke me up.. haha.. cuz she had class.. was bored so surfed the net.. eunice came back early .. class got cancelled.. went to golden griddle for breakfast buffet with her and kenneth.. interesting conversations.. "asians are sex toys." huh wut the hell eunice???? went to best buy/future shop/the source with wynne.. then lunch @ big dicks with the music crew.. wil, graeme, becky, sarah, LL... fun times catching up.. bulk barn with sarah and LL.. back to wynne's.. grocery shopping.. then drive back to London.. got back around 7.. dinner with jo, miriam, nat and sarah @ under the volcano.. cayenne beef.. hmmm.. yumm yummm.. but too acidic.. but so good.. grey's marathon.. yeah .. missed out so many episodes..

thursday: chill in london

friday: drive back out early morning.. nap at home. work at 5..

lots of fun.. yeah.. im glad my week has been eventful :) woo hooo

i have a test and an essay due friday.. yet i find myself doing stuff online stuff.. like always..

i'm so excited.. i have the whole of next week off skewl.. and i have 3 days for sure off work :) yeah yeah yeah :)

so i'm gonna be making a mini trip into windsor and london.. to visit ppl..cuz i miss them all..
yeah i get to visit jo.. and sammi.. and frankie and james and shay..

then all the windsor ppl.. ryan.. eunice.. wynne. wai lit..danit.. sarah.. kennethe.. yeah yeah yeah.. so excited..


i'm a lil random today.. so yeha..

ONE DAY TO VERIFY MY ExiSTEncE!!!

today was a pretty awesome day..
woke up early this morning.. had class at 730.. was baking dinner rolls in class..

we had to scale, mix, and prep all the dough.. then roll and shape the dough into various shapes with knots..we did the same thing yesterday.. except with "dead" dough.. and i was so pissed off yesterday.. cuz i've got really really small hands.. that plus rollin dough doesn't go well.. so i was so so so pissed offf.. i wanted to like burn my dough..

today.. after somewhat adjusting my technique.. i manage to shape and bake some decent looking rolls.. i have pics.. which i will post later..

learned an awful lot in class about doughs and breads today..fermentation.. proofing.. retarding..(its not what u think).. effects of too much or too little sugar, or salt in ur dough..etc.. 4 hour class went by pretty good..

then went with chef up to angus glen to do some volunteering work.. we prepped a chocolate truffle mouse, truille crousillant with 3 raspberries and a mint leaf, and decorated with raspberry and milk chocolate sauce.. looked soo soo soo good..

despite having to wait 4 extra hours cuz angus glen was running 4 hours behind.. got to work along side the exec chef of terra.. got to see the exec chef of flow work.. got to see how line cooks work.. pretty awesome.. OMG its so hectic.. i'm definetly glad i chose pastry over culinary.. i don't think i'd survive in there..

got to see what life is actually like out in the real world..
basically.. this one day was wicked!! i luved every second and minute of it..

so i guess it has been a while since i last blogged..

not too much has happened.. going to skewl..

my bartending class got cancelled so no bartending for me..

got some plans in the works for the next few weeks.. quite excited..

this week:

tonite: write my descriptive esssay, study for my baking theory test, prepare my research for presentation

thursday: have a job interview at cookerydoo.. a cooking school for kids.. that would be like the perfect job for me.. :P finish writing essay.. study some more..

friday: essay due.. test day..volunteering with discovery day at school till 4... afterwards going down to chinese lantern festival with jo and some high skewl friends.. maybe hanging out afterwards

saturday/sunday: first aid level c training

monday: class

tuesday: job interview at cobs bread in newmarket

wednesday: class

thursday: class.. then helping chef prep plated desserts for charity dinner on friday

friday: class.. then going to angus glen for charity dinner.. get to do plated desserts aside chef.. so excited :)

saturday: going out with ppl for thanksgiving... dinner.. then club/bar???

sunday: chillin

monday: morningish.. baking day with euds?? family thanksgiving dinner at nite..

2 interviews.. and i really hope i get the job at either one.. both are related jobs.. yeah yeah :)
so excited..

so.. finally after waiting a few hours and yelling at a few ppl.. my schedule is finally fixed.. i'm only taking 6 courses this sem..... technically.. i have a online course on top of that..

monday.. College English from 9-12.. then College Math from 3 - 6
tuesday.. bartending skills from 630pm - 930pm for 2 months
wednesday.. baking skills class from 7-11
thursday.. baking skills class from 7-11, and baking theory class from 12 -2
friday.. baking skills class from 7-11, and baking theory class from 12 -2

was suppose to have classes on tuesdays.. which is why i'm here at GBC.. but now they changed it.. so no class..

got a lot accomplished today..

woke up at 5.. left the house by 530.. was suppose to have baking skills class at 7.. got here.. and they said that i wasn't in the class..

so waited till 8 for registar's to open.. "discussed" with them for about an hour.. fixed part of the schedule..

went to bookstore.. to figure out why my package from aug 3.. still hadn't arrived at my house.. yet the package from aug 22 was at the postal office ready for pick up.. got that sorted out..

went to gary armstrong's to put my english horn for consignment.. man.. i'm gonna lose so much $ cuz its used.. stupid stupid.. why did the price of the english horn have to go down all of a sudden.. last time i checked.. like early 2006.. it was like $9000CAD for a new one.. now the price has dropped down to like $8000-$8500CAD for a new one.. which means i can't put my english horn for any higher than $7500.. boo boo boo..

went to Mountain Equipment Co-op to buy a new laptop bag..
came back to skewl.. and talked to another person at registrars.. fixed the rest of my schedule

just chillin.. looking for jobs and wut not.. leaving in a bit.. to go back up to good ol' York region.. try to find a currency exchange.. to exchange some of my HK $.. then going to get my w900i fixed.. stupid "flash of death"

pick up my package at the post office.. and maybe if i'm still awake by then.. i'll print off some resumes and drop them off at the mall....


wow.. thats a lot to have been done for me.. at noon!!! and only one large cup of coffee.. yeah me !!!! yeah yeah me!!!

haha

i'm out..