Countdown:
1 day till: Praise & Worship Nite at WCBC
2 days till: Miranda comes to visit me in windsor
3 days till: U of Windsor Wind Ensemble Concert @ Capitol Theatre 3 pm
5 days till:I become a psyc research lab rat
8 days till: My Very 1st Music Therapy Observation!!! :) WEEE!!!
9 days till: Theory Midterm
: I go to London to pick up JO
: I go HOME!!!!
11 days till: Reading Week officially starts!!!
13 days till: My very first 2nd Music Therapy observation!!! :) WEEE!!
19 days till: my observation assignment is due
21 days till: my music therapy midterm
29 days till: my 2nd psyc midterm
62 days till: My Basic Skills Final Exam @ 12pm
: My Music Therapy Final Exam@ 830am
64 days till: Psyc Final Exam @4pm
65 days till: Theory Final Exam
: DONE FIRST YEAR!!!!
now as i look at the list.. my first year of uni is gonna be over really soon.. this year has gone by really really quickly.. i mean.. it was only a year ago.. that i started worrying about uni.. and whether i would get in or not.. and now.. aproximately 365 days later.. i'm sitting here.. about to finish my first year.. WOW!!! time goes by really quickly... and lots have happening in the time that has passed by
1)i'm no longer the boy-crazy .. boy-obsessed girl that i always was.. i mean... i still like guys.. dun get me wrong.. but it no longer a priority for me.. all thru high skewl.. i worried so much about bf's.. about whether i'd have one.. about whether he was the rite one.. about whether we should be together.. and every single lil thing u could associate with having a bf.. and i worried so much about it in hs... i dunno even kno why.. cuz as i look back.. i never had a single good relationship with any of them.. they all ended horrificly... and why did i spend so much on it.. when in the end.. it didn't make a difference.. so now..i'm concentrating on more importants things.. skewl.. friends.. family.. my future.. and if i meet a guy.. and things seem rite.. sure i'll take the opportunity.. but if there are no opportunities.. i'm ok with that too..
2)everybody seems to think that i've kinda matured.. even in the first 3 weeks of university.. when i first went home.. first thing Dez said to me.. was ur different.. uve matured.. no longer the cute kiddish lil Sindy.. and i dunno really if thats true.. i haven't noticed anything.....
3)spiritually... i've grown a bit.. a lil bit.. at least.. i'll actually go on sundays and friday.. w/o muttering and complaining..
there are still a lot of questions that need to be answered.. and problems to be solved.. but i'll get there eventually.. i hope.. this much is for sure.. i no longer repel the faith.. i no longer hate it.. i've acccepted it.. and will go from there
4) emotionally.. for me this year.. has been hard.. with everything around me.. changing.. and all my friends changing.. and the environment changing.. its been hard for me to keep up.... and i've often been in the background.. looking as everybody and everything changed.. and i didn't want that.. i really didn't.. i wanted things to be exactly the same.. and i couldn't bear to see it changed.. so many a times.. i found myself feeling lonely and in tears.. i didn't wanna grow up.. i didn't want to lose my friends.. i didn't want to change.. and I still dont.. but ive learned that no matter how much i cry or how much im not happy it.. things will change.. i just have to learn to accept and adapt.. thats all there is to do..
so i guess.. this year has passed by quickly.. but i've learned quite a # of things.. and i'm sure there is still lots more to learn.. before the end of this semester is over...
February 11, 2004
woohoo.. i have a page.. My Site its majorly under construction!!! hehe.. as u can see probably.. but i finally figured out some stuff.. so its in the works.. just have to do some more figuring out.. but
MAD PROPS SI!!!
he helped me fix some stuff !!! woohoo SI!!!
yeah.. very excited.. now all i need to do.. is befriend some nerdy comp sci major who is amazing at html.. so he can teach me how to do thigns..then I"M SET!!! woohoo!!!
MAD PROPS SI!!!
he helped me fix some stuff !!! woohoo SI!!!
yeah.. very excited.. now all i need to do.. is befriend some nerdy comp sci major who is amazing at html.. so he can teach me how to do thigns..then I"M SET!!! woohoo!!!
February 10, 2004
If you're chinese.. your suppose to be the following:
CHINESE - chinks (derived from Chinese)
You speak loudly even if you`re only one foot away. - I dunt speak loudly .. do i ??
You’re cheap and ridiculously tight with your money. - me cheap?? yeah rite
Your parents speak to you in Chinese and speak English with an accent if they speak it at all. - very true
Your skin is oily and you`ve had a history with pimples because of the greasy food you eat. - my skin is oily. but never really had a zit problem
You’re a terrible driver. - Ha! definetly!! rite jo?
You have the furniture in your house in funky, illogical placesbecause your mom is superstitious. - mom is not superstitious
You love to eat at Chinese "cafe`s" and drink boba. - wats boba>??
You’re inherently rude, by culture. - i dun think i'm rude
Your kitchen smells like sesame oil and your bedroom smells like tiger balm. - nope.. neither one
You stick to your "own kind", having few (if any) friends outside the Chinese race. - i have a mixture...of ALL races
You or someone you know has the American name David, Danny, Peter, Steve, Kenny, Jenny, Winnie, Wendy, Suzy, Lucy or Linda (unless your parents thought they were creative by naming you Johnson, Jackson, or Emerson). - I kno ppl..yes..but i am a lucky creative one.. hehe .. not a lot of chinese ppl named Sindy.. WITH a SSSSSS
You have a relative that has a long pinky nail and a mole with a long hair growing out of it. - NOPE
You eat chicken’s feet, and eggs that are so rotten they are black (1000 year old egg). - They're not rotten eggs!! PRESERVED!!!.. and they're really good
You are hairless (male or female). - i have a whole head of hair!
It`s guaranteed that either you or your parents have some ugly red tassle thing dangling from your car`s review mirror.
-nope
now..how exactly am i 60-70% stereotypical?? half of those question.. dont even apply to me!!!
CHINESE - chinks (derived from Chinese)
You speak loudly even if you`re only one foot away. - I dunt speak loudly .. do i ??
You’re cheap and ridiculously tight with your money. - me cheap?? yeah rite
Your parents speak to you in Chinese and speak English with an accent if they speak it at all. - very true
Your skin is oily and you`ve had a history with pimples because of the greasy food you eat. - my skin is oily. but never really had a zit problem
You’re a terrible driver. - Ha! definetly!! rite jo?
You have the furniture in your house in funky, illogical placesbecause your mom is superstitious. - mom is not superstitious
You love to eat at Chinese "cafe`s" and drink boba. - wats boba>??
You’re inherently rude, by culture. - i dun think i'm rude
Your kitchen smells like sesame oil and your bedroom smells like tiger balm. - nope.. neither one
You stick to your "own kind", having few (if any) friends outside the Chinese race. - i have a mixture...of ALL races
You or someone you know has the American name David, Danny, Peter, Steve, Kenny, Jenny, Winnie, Wendy, Suzy, Lucy or Linda (unless your parents thought they were creative by naming you Johnson, Jackson, or Emerson). - I kno ppl..yes..but i am a lucky creative one.. hehe .. not a lot of chinese ppl named Sindy.. WITH a SSSSSS
You have a relative that has a long pinky nail and a mole with a long hair growing out of it. - NOPE
You eat chicken’s feet, and eggs that are so rotten they are black (1000 year old egg). - They're not rotten eggs!! PRESERVED!!!.. and they're really good
You are hairless (male or female). - i have a whole head of hair!
It`s guaranteed that either you or your parents have some ugly red tassle thing dangling from your car`s review mirror.
-nope
now..how exactly am i 60-70% stereotypical?? half of those question.. dont even apply to me!!!
February 08, 2004
once again.. just like in november.. i am reminded of my worth... id like to think that i'm important.. that may sound very conceited.. but deep down inside.. everybody wishes they were important.. at least to some ppl..
in my case.. apparently.. i'm not important to a hell of a lot of ppl.. ud think that friends would care for u.. be there to support you..
but when it all comes down to one thing.. ur put at the very back of the list of importance.. second last.. if not dead last...
and the thing is.. you dun even ask a lot of them.. one simple lil thing.. take a lil time out of their lives... and that much.. ur not even important enough for.. sad really...
and depressing.. to kno.. that ur worth nothing... ur not important.. they dun care enough...
and it makes you wonder.. is it something i did.. or somethign about me that makes me not important?? am i a horrible person that nobody wants to befriend?? am i a loser?? is that why nobody cares??
for some ppl .. this is simply a phase.. that goes away...
for me.. it seems like it occurs over and over again.. with same ppl.. with different ppl.. its like i seem to attract them or something.. over and over again.. it happens to me.. i dun kno what i did to deserve anything of this..
its not even that i'm asking a lot out of anybody.. be there.. support me.. care for me.. id do the same for you.. so why can't they do it for me??
yes.. that does sound conceited.. but its only fair.. the amount of times that ive cared and been there for them... i'm askin for one time.. and i can't even have that..
i wish this was somethin i could just decide to get over.. like other thigns in my life..but i can't.. i find myself in tears about this time and time again... and i kno these tears will continue to be shed over and over again.. and there isn't a single thing i can do... and that suxs most of all
if it was a problem that i could fix and it would go away.. my life would be so much easier.. but the fact that it isn't.. kills me.... both mentally, physically, and emotionally...
one of these days.. i'll have reached the edge.. and i wont kno where to go from there.. or if there even is anywhere to go from there.. i dunno when that day will be.. but at this rate.. it'll be soon..
and that'd be the end
of me
in my case.. apparently.. i'm not important to a hell of a lot of ppl.. ud think that friends would care for u.. be there to support you..
but when it all comes down to one thing.. ur put at the very back of the list of importance.. second last.. if not dead last...
and the thing is.. you dun even ask a lot of them.. one simple lil thing.. take a lil time out of their lives... and that much.. ur not even important enough for.. sad really...
and depressing.. to kno.. that ur worth nothing... ur not important.. they dun care enough...
and it makes you wonder.. is it something i did.. or somethign about me that makes me not important?? am i a horrible person that nobody wants to befriend?? am i a loser?? is that why nobody cares??
for some ppl .. this is simply a phase.. that goes away...
for me.. it seems like it occurs over and over again.. with same ppl.. with different ppl.. its like i seem to attract them or something.. over and over again.. it happens to me.. i dun kno what i did to deserve anything of this..
its not even that i'm asking a lot out of anybody.. be there.. support me.. care for me.. id do the same for you.. so why can't they do it for me??
yes.. that does sound conceited.. but its only fair.. the amount of times that ive cared and been there for them... i'm askin for one time.. and i can't even have that..
i wish this was somethin i could just decide to get over.. like other thigns in my life..but i can't.. i find myself in tears about this time and time again... and i kno these tears will continue to be shed over and over again.. and there isn't a single thing i can do... and that suxs most of all
if it was a problem that i could fix and it would go away.. my life would be so much easier.. but the fact that it isn't.. kills me.... both mentally, physically, and emotionally...
one of these days.. i'll have reached the edge.. and i wont kno where to go from there.. or if there even is anywhere to go from there.. i dunno when that day will be.. but at this rate.. it'll be soon..
and that'd be the end
of me
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