Some women don't deserve to be mothers!!!!

i never really thought i'd ever say that.. but today.. man totally changed my opinion...

First.. i had to go to work today.. so i took the bus. and just like every other time.. i'd see kids and parents on the bus.. but today.. there was these 5 ppl... 2 adults.. and 3 kids..2 about ages 3 and 6.. and a lil baby.. maybe a year old.. the 2 adults were i believe mother and daughter.. and the kids were the daughter's.. and man.. i dun like to pre-judge.. or discriminate or anything.. but they looked rather shabby.. in the sense that they were dirty( like not-clean), had drug-shot eyes and were very clothes that looked like they hadnt been cleaned in ages.. and smelled bad.. like garbage bad..

and on the bus.. one of the little girls wanted to stand with her grandmother and her older sister at the front of the bus.. but her mother didn't want her to .. she wanted her to sit at the back.. so she basically pushes her daughter all the way back.. and on the way back.. her daughter falls and hits her head on the floor of the bus b/c she pushed her too hard.. and the mother like picks her up by her jacket with a lot of force.. and drags her to the back of the bus... her daughter is like wailing cuz she's in pain.. and all the mother can do is keep on yelling at her.. telling her to shut up and stop being a cry baby .. the whole entire ride.. 45 mins.. the lil girl is crying.. the mom is yelling and hitting her daughter.. the whole bus is looking.. and finally another lady asks if the girl's ok.. the mom shoots the lady with the meanest eyes ever.. and keeps on yelling at her daughter.. the grandmother is not doing anything..

honestly.. i don't think she deserves to be a mother.. she can't do that to her child..

as much as i believe that every woman's best job in the world is to be a mother.. and that every women should have that opportunity.. i don't think that certain ppl should..

ppl like that mother and grandmother definetly dont.. people who can barely take care of themselves.. ppl who can't stay off drugs n alcohol.. ppl with no respect for others.. ppl with no manners.. they shouldn't be raising kids.. cuz those kids will grow up to be just like them.. and those kids deserve better than that.. those kids should be living ina safe environment where they wont be hit, yelled at, exposed to drugs, sex, alcohol.. they should be living with parents who will teach them right from wrong, teach them manners.. teach them important things.. let them live a happy childhood.. and honestly. if a mother/father cannot do those things.. they don't deserve to be parents.. being parents is a gift.. a gift from God..

either treasure your child.. or it'll backfire on you.. those parents wonder why their kids ended up in juvi, jail, prostitution, theft, crime.. and they get all angry cuz their kids don't respect them, or have no respect for authority.. u kno wut.. u caused it.. ur the reason for all of it.. don't blame on society.. don't blame it on others.. look at the way you raised your kid..


i just had to vent about that.. bothered me the whole entire day.. urgh

Doctors SUX ASSS sometimes!!!!

so today.. i went to yet another doctor.. and is it just me or is it lately, doctors don't really seem to kno what they're doing..

i mean.. i can't say all doctors.. but in general.. well.. at least the many that i've seen in both toronto, hongkong and windsor

1) they never seem to pay attention.. as a doctor.. is it not ur duty to pay attention to detail? frig.. one of my doctors almost killed me.. he prescribed me this med that had deadly reactions with another.. and he didn't even bother to look at the med chart when i went in.. if i hadn't asked him if it was ok to take it with other meds.. i swear i'd prolly be in the ER rite now..

2) they can't diagnose.. i will say that yes it is hard.. cuz there are conflicting symptoms.. but frig.. how is it that every doctor.. from every involved field. from like family doctor to specialists.. to the head of department at a hospital... none of them kno what they're doing

3) meds.. they dont kno their meds.. i admit yes there are a lot of meds out there.. and a lot of them work the same and wut not.. but if u kno that u have a patient coming in.. maybe u should do a lil research b4 they come in.. show a lil effort..

4) they don't care.. you walk in.. you talk.. they reply.. you leave.. when they talk to you.. they're not even like talking to you.. they're just talking..when you're talking.. they're not listening..


aaaaaaaarrrrggggghhhhh.. so annoying

on a better note.. this weekend should be good.. a much needed weekend of just fun.. relaxation...hanging out.. no stress.. no doctors...

going home on friday.. hangin out with friends day.. then cindy's wedding on saturday.. all day and all nite.. then sunday.. going into london to visit some peeps on the way back to the ghetto.. .

recently .. i'm starting to like the environment of windsor much more than usual.. i'm liking the quietness.. i'm liking the fact that i'm antisocial.. that i never go out when i'm in windsor.. it just provides me with a lil room to breathe.. think.. just be by myself..

can never get that at home. haha.. exact opposite of most ppl.. usually they're able to do that at home.. but when at skewl.. they've got skewl stuff.. and friends.. and wut not..

but then when have i ever been like everybody else?

Promises

what exactly is a promise?

Definitions:

1. transitive and intransitive verb vow: to assure somebody that something will certainly happen or be done promised to come promised that the patient would recover

2. transitive verb pledge something: to pledge to somebody to provide or do something promised them a kitten

3. transitive and intransitive verb make somebody expect something: to cause somebody to expect something The sky promised rain.

4. transitive verb assure or warn somebody: to assure or warn somebody that something is true or inevitable Things will be fine, I promise you.

5. transitive verb affiance somebody: to engage somebody to be married ( dated ) She told him that she was promised to someone else.

source

i didn't really use to think so much about promises.. the ones i made.. the ones other ppl made for me.. for others... i mean.. i didn't think about it into any depth.. i'll admit that i've made my fair share of broken and forgotten promises..

and i never really thought about how much it hurt..

till now.

it hurts the most when its the ppl closest to you that break their promises.. your family... your bestest of friends.. and it makes you wonder.. whether they really meant it when they made that promise to you??

i can't help but wonder.. am i even important to them? by the fact that they don't remember the promises that they made.. does that mean the things i've said to them and them back to me.. does that mean that they weren't listening or never cared?

i guess the one big thign that brought this whole thing up was this weekend..

halloween.. i'm normally not one thats big on halloween or anything.. but.. this weekend .. i had previously planned on going to london.. i had planned this back in october.. with all my high skewl friends.. during thanksgiving.. we were planning to all go in.. and one of my best friends.. promised that she would let me kno what was goign on.. she knew exactly how i felt about being left out in the loop.. and why?? because she was one of the ppl that i always went to.. cried with..
she promised that we would do something together.. whether it be we go to london.. or i go home.. or she comes here.. didn't matter..

and then mid october.. she says that she can't do anything for halloween for family reasons.. and thats perfectly fine.. i understand that..

but

WHY IS IT THAT I JUST FOUND OUT THAT SHE WENT TO LONDON WITH HER BF TO MY OTHER HIGH SKEWL FRIEND'S HALLOWEEN PARTY???

1st of all.. we've been talking all this time.. and she never once mentioned to me
2nd.. all of my other friends knew about our agreement and they didn't say anythign to me either..
3rd.. she says she 's my best friends.. but actions speak louder than words..


she of all people should know how i would feel about broken promises and being left out.. FUCK>>>

and to add on top of everything.. i found out.. and i asked her, her bf.. my other high skewl friends.. they're stil pretending it never happened.. WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE TO LIE???

perhaps its the lying that bugs me the most.. i wouldn't be so upset if they just told me what happened flat out.. i'd still be mad at them but i wouldn't feel so betrayed.. i'd get over in a week max.. and then it would no longer be an issue.. but now.. i just feel like i don't kno them anymore.


don't get me wrong or anything.. i'm not saying i'm perfect or have never broken a promise.. hell i've done tat more times than i can think of.. and i'm not proud of it.. but thats the truth.

and why in life?? if theres one bad thing happening.. it always seems to attract a million others.. life is harder enough as it is.. i don't need more things... i'm just so tired with life.. and all of its problems.. sometimes..

now don't get me wrong.. i'm not in any way suicidial.. or wanting to take my life.. but

its so hard that sometimes i just wanna give up.. give up on myself.. on others.. it just doesn't seem to worth it anymore.. life is supposed to be meaningful.. life is suppose to have a purpose is it not??

what exactly is mine then??