56 days since i started my new schooling at george brown.. and i hafta say i've learned a lot..

i've learned:
baguettes
white bread
whole wheat bread
sugar cookies
spritz cookies
pies
tarts
puff pastry
brownies
yule logs
gingerbread
and much much more..

but if there's one thing thats most important..

that is:

if u really enjoy something.. the amount of time and effort spent into it no longer matters.. all that seems important to you will be.. ur doing what u enjoy .. u understand it.. u love it..

so if u ask me now.. was the 3 years wasted away at university worth it??

i'd do it all over again if i can continue to have many more days of this happiness and fun :)

for those who know me.. i'm not really much of a person to volunteer my weekend aways... stay at school voluntarily.. attending class (hahaha)

but the me now.. i actually go to class.. ( well 90% at least).. volunteering at school... hahah



I LOVE THE NEW ME!!! :) :) :)

if there's one thing i enjoy most about birthday weekends.. being able to eat and drink as much as i want.. without at all feeling bad about it.. hahah..

i definetly ate a good amount this week.. and drank a good amount at that too :) weeeeeee

thursday.. started off with all u can eat korean bbq.

friday.. shopping and random snackage with JJ.. everythign from ice-cream to popcorn, to candy to coffee.. haha.. then k nite.. drinks and food

saturday.. lunch.. made myself a lunch consisting of rockets popsicles.. bacon.. ice cream and cake.. yes sad.. i kno... then HUGE dinner @ flo ... wild mushroom soup, with buffola and tomato crostini, sea bass as main dish.. creme brulee for dinner.. and then yummy yummy bday cake..

sunday.. breakfast with my mom at coras... mmm.. waffles and bacon and eggssss... lunch at baton rouge with fred.. huge huge piece of chicken and veggies.. all u can eat japanese buffet dinner with my parents..

urgh.. i feel so fat and bloated rite now.. soo full :P hahahah

and just like clockwork. it comes to that time of the year.. and just like all the rest.. i dread its arrival.. for most ppl.. its one of the happiest times.. but for me..i hate it..

i hate having to worry about it. i hate knowing that nobody remembers.. nobody cares.. i hate how im always left out..

this time of the year just makes me wanna crawl into my bed and not come out for a week..

i always hoped that i would one day be good enough for it.. good enough so that ppl cared.. and so many years into my life and im still not..

i hate this time of the year.. and i just wish it would all go away

so my friend has got me on this thing.. click on the links and pick 5-6 either positive/negative words about me...

fill out my nohari window

fill out my johari window


thanx guys :)

its been quite the eventful week.. fun.. lots of good times..

to explain:

i have a whole week off skewl.. something known as intersession week.. haha.. everybody's jealous.. yes i kno.. and then my work schedule for this week was pretty wicked.. i don't work till friday at 5.. so after being bothered by some ppl in windsor about visiting.. i decided to take a lil road trip..

monday: left newmarket for london with krystle.. left around 430pm.. got into london around 7.. freak snow and rain all the way in.. went to crabby joes with jo, frankie, james, alex, and eric.. pretty good.

tuesday: breakfast at paragon with sam, jo, and godfrey.. m&m meat shops.. grocery shopping. went back to jo's.. napped for an hour.. drove in to windsor. trio outing with eunice and ryan.. a&p grocery shopping.. bulk barn.. eunice napped. ryan studied.. i sat around.. haha .. went out for dinner @ moxies @ devonshire with eunice, kenneth, nelson, norris, wynne, sarah, wait lit, danit.. that was fun. i missed them :P walked around devonshire with eunice, norris, wynne and kenneth.. then drove kenneth back to st.clair.. dairy queen for ms.piggy herself. drove ms.piggy home.. then went to wynne's.. hung out for a while.. went to wai lit's... i luv chatting with him.. haha.. lovely how our convo's are always about his obsession with fob girls.. hahahhahah..
went back to eunice's.. chatted and then slept..

wednesday: woke up around 830.. eunice woke me up.. haha.. cuz she had class.. was bored so surfed the net.. eunice came back early .. class got cancelled.. went to golden griddle for breakfast buffet with her and kenneth.. interesting conversations.. "asians are sex toys." huh wut the hell eunice???? went to best buy/future shop/the source with wynne.. then lunch @ big dicks with the music crew.. wil, graeme, becky, sarah, LL... fun times catching up.. bulk barn with sarah and LL.. back to wynne's.. grocery shopping.. then drive back to London.. got back around 7.. dinner with jo, miriam, nat and sarah @ under the volcano.. cayenne beef.. hmmm.. yumm yummm.. but too acidic.. but so good.. grey's marathon.. yeah .. missed out so many episodes..

thursday: chill in london

friday: drive back out early morning.. nap at home. work at 5..

lots of fun.. yeah.. im glad my week has been eventful :) woo hooo

i have a test and an essay due friday.. yet i find myself doing stuff online stuff.. like always..

i'm so excited.. i have the whole of next week off skewl.. and i have 3 days for sure off work :) yeah yeah yeah :)

so i'm gonna be making a mini trip into windsor and london.. to visit ppl..cuz i miss them all..
yeah i get to visit jo.. and sammi.. and frankie and james and shay..

then all the windsor ppl.. ryan.. eunice.. wynne. wai lit..danit.. sarah.. kennethe.. yeah yeah yeah.. so excited..


i'm a lil random today.. so yeha..

ONE DAY TO VERIFY MY ExiSTEncE!!!

today was a pretty awesome day..
woke up early this morning.. had class at 730.. was baking dinner rolls in class..

we had to scale, mix, and prep all the dough.. then roll and shape the dough into various shapes with knots..we did the same thing yesterday.. except with "dead" dough.. and i was so pissed off yesterday.. cuz i've got really really small hands.. that plus rollin dough doesn't go well.. so i was so so so pissed offf.. i wanted to like burn my dough..

today.. after somewhat adjusting my technique.. i manage to shape and bake some decent looking rolls.. i have pics.. which i will post later..

learned an awful lot in class about doughs and breads today..fermentation.. proofing.. retarding..(its not what u think).. effects of too much or too little sugar, or salt in ur dough..etc.. 4 hour class went by pretty good..

then went with chef up to angus glen to do some volunteering work.. we prepped a chocolate truffle mouse, truille crousillant with 3 raspberries and a mint leaf, and decorated with raspberry and milk chocolate sauce.. looked soo soo soo good..

despite having to wait 4 extra hours cuz angus glen was running 4 hours behind.. got to work along side the exec chef of terra.. got to see the exec chef of flow work.. got to see how line cooks work.. pretty awesome.. OMG its so hectic.. i'm definetly glad i chose pastry over culinary.. i don't think i'd survive in there..

got to see what life is actually like out in the real world..
basically.. this one day was wicked!! i luved every second and minute of it..

so i guess it has been a while since i last blogged..

not too much has happened.. going to skewl..

my bartending class got cancelled so no bartending for me..

got some plans in the works for the next few weeks.. quite excited..

this week:

tonite: write my descriptive esssay, study for my baking theory test, prepare my research for presentation

thursday: have a job interview at cookerydoo.. a cooking school for kids.. that would be like the perfect job for me.. :P finish writing essay.. study some more..

friday: essay due.. test day..volunteering with discovery day at school till 4... afterwards going down to chinese lantern festival with jo and some high skewl friends.. maybe hanging out afterwards

saturday/sunday: first aid level c training

monday: class

tuesday: job interview at cobs bread in newmarket

wednesday: class

thursday: class.. then helping chef prep plated desserts for charity dinner on friday

friday: class.. then going to angus glen for charity dinner.. get to do plated desserts aside chef.. so excited :)

saturday: going out with ppl for thanksgiving... dinner.. then club/bar???

sunday: chillin

monday: morningish.. baking day with euds?? family thanksgiving dinner at nite..

2 interviews.. and i really hope i get the job at either one.. both are related jobs.. yeah yeah :)
so excited..

so.. finally after waiting a few hours and yelling at a few ppl.. my schedule is finally fixed.. i'm only taking 6 courses this sem..... technically.. i have a online course on top of that..

monday.. College English from 9-12.. then College Math from 3 - 6
tuesday.. bartending skills from 630pm - 930pm for 2 months
wednesday.. baking skills class from 7-11
thursday.. baking skills class from 7-11, and baking theory class from 12 -2
friday.. baking skills class from 7-11, and baking theory class from 12 -2

was suppose to have classes on tuesdays.. which is why i'm here at GBC.. but now they changed it.. so no class..

got a lot accomplished today..

woke up at 5.. left the house by 530.. was suppose to have baking skills class at 7.. got here.. and they said that i wasn't in the class..

so waited till 8 for registar's to open.. "discussed" with them for about an hour.. fixed part of the schedule..

went to bookstore.. to figure out why my package from aug 3.. still hadn't arrived at my house.. yet the package from aug 22 was at the postal office ready for pick up.. got that sorted out..

went to gary armstrong's to put my english horn for consignment.. man.. i'm gonna lose so much $ cuz its used.. stupid stupid.. why did the price of the english horn have to go down all of a sudden.. last time i checked.. like early 2006.. it was like $9000CAD for a new one.. now the price has dropped down to like $8000-$8500CAD for a new one.. which means i can't put my english horn for any higher than $7500.. boo boo boo..

went to Mountain Equipment Co-op to buy a new laptop bag..
came back to skewl.. and talked to another person at registrars.. fixed the rest of my schedule

just chillin.. looking for jobs and wut not.. leaving in a bit.. to go back up to good ol' York region.. try to find a currency exchange.. to exchange some of my HK $.. then going to get my w900i fixed.. stupid "flash of death"

pick up my package at the post office.. and maybe if i'm still awake by then.. i'll print off some resumes and drop them off at the mall....


wow.. thats a lot to have been done for me.. at noon!!! and only one large cup of coffee.. yeah me !!!! yeah yeah me!!!

haha

i'm out..

i swear.. i have this huge ass sign on my forehead that says::

Registrar's Office.. Please screw me over!!!

in my 4 years in high skewl, and my 4 year at univefrsity.. not once have i not been screwed over by the registar's office.. and this year ...

it happens too!!!

my mom asked me to print off my shcedule so she'd have an idea of whats going on for the next semes... so i go online .. and i find out that.. the friggin registar's office has switched my program on me.. and that i'm only registerd in 5 out of the 8 courses i'm suppose to be in.. and damn.. its the long weekend now.. and skewl starts on tuesday.. what the hell am i suppose to do?? FrIG


damn.. i swear.. I HATE THE DAMN PPL at all registrar's office...

and just like that...
my days in hk are limited..

7 days to be exact..
a week from today.. i will have boarded my plane back to canada..
and my emotions are so mixed rite now
its sad really.. how quickly my summer is ending.. but i'm also glad... that i'm going home..
but yet there's this feeling of uncertainty that i have..

1)
i miss so many things about T.O..

i miss ppl.. i miss my house.. i miss my parents.. i miss having my own room.. my own closet...
i miss all my girls.. all my boys.. i miss getting to hang out with ppl..

2) i'm gonna miss so many things in hk..

i'm gonna miss all of my kids at work.. i'm gonna miss my cousins.. my friends.. i'm gonna miss
hanging out in hk.. i'm gonna miss cheap food, and cheap clothes.. and just everything cheap.

3) i'm looking forward to going back to skewl..getting ready for a brand new start.. new school.. new subject.. new friends.. new everything

4) i don't want to be back in skewl.. after having taking almost 8 months off skewl.. i dun really know how ready i am... i haven't studied.. read textbooks.. written papers.. in so so long.. i really dunt want this new start to start off badly..


but i think.. the worst thing for me.. is this feeling of uncertainty...

its not the first time i've had it.. i actually get it twice a year.. before i leave for hk.. and before i return for the summer..

i'm also so worried about ..

oh.. what did i miss this summer?? i wonder what they did this summer?? did i miss anything really exciting???

do they have new friends now?? do they have friends better than me??

have they realized that i'm easily replaceable???

will things between us still be the same?? despite the 3 months gap????

these are somewhat immature questions to ask.. i kno that.. but i guess.. i just can't help it..

so as i'm spending my last week in hk.. i'm anxiously awaiting the answers to my questions when i return..

:'(

so i'm sitting at home.. got a half day off from work.. why u ask??

well..
at the end of last week.. saturday.. i started to feel sick from.. headache, dizziness, chills, fever, the works.. so went home early that day.. slept for the weekend.. and then went to see the doctor on sunday.. turns out i had a throat infection... got monday off.. tuesday.. my throat is a little better.. but still feeling the chills, fever, and on top of that.. it feels like a sinus infection is workign up..
wednesday.. sinus are killing me.. headache.. my eye is burning and my ears are vrooming..
so i asked for a half day off today to go see the doctor.. leaving in a sec..

man i hate how i get sick all the time.. irregardless of where i am.. i always get sick.. its quite annoying really.

i just wish i could have a normal body.. one that was free of sickness. URGH

had another celebrity sighting again

haha so today started really really shitty.. it was pouring rain outside.. and the walk to work is walking downhill ... so basically all the water was pouring down my feet the whole 10 min walk.. i was wearing my birks.. so the leather and cork on them are all screwed up..so i decided that i was going to buy a new pair of shoes for the rest of the day.. i needed and wanted to buy shoes

anyway.. got to work.. i was soaking wet .. disgustingly wet. taught 4 classes.. about holidays.. one of which was just horrible.. had to yell at the kids really bad.. they were being so stupid.. and rude.... work ends..

walked to festival walk with eudora.. euds left. and i walked around to look for shoes.. went to puma.. walk in.. started freaking out.. CELEBRITY!!!!!

nancy wu

and Lai Lok Yin

call eudora.. she comes back up to festival walk..

i didn't end up taking a pic with nancy wu.. she was shopping for a really long time and i had to rush to work.. but i did get the picture with the tall kinda good looking guy.. i dunno what his english name is tho.. ended geting a new pair of limited edition puma's and a pink sweatshirt too.. hehe

its been an eventful few weeks...

started to work full time with two jobs..

monday wednesday friday mornings from 9 till 1.. work at mary knolls.. then 2 -7 i work at beacon hills
tuesday thursday saturday.. i work 9-7 at beacon hill.. been so incredibly tired and busy..

been to 2 concerts..

1st was last sunday.. went to see justin lo and ronald cheng.. 903id concert.. a lil disappointed to be honest.. it was suppose to start at 8.. didn't end up starting till like 840 and it was over by 10.. and ronald didn't sing that many of his own songs.. instead he sang some really old 80's songs.. justin was not bad.. but he definetly needs to learn some new moves for when he's singing.. he only knows how to do the "move your hands" and " close your eyes" and "pretend to be all emotional" .. haha..

2nd was just a few hours ago.. netvigator let's MOOV 2006.. it had aaron kwok, denise ho, twins, fong dai tong, stephanie cheng, sun shine boyz, EO2.. pretty good concert.. a lil pissed off tho.. my brother was an ass and took the vip backstage pass and went in by myself and left me and my cousin stranded to leave by ourselves.. urgh.. and then he got to take pics of the celebs backstage and at the afterstage party...i took 300+ pics which i'll upload later .. along with the 903id concert pics

went out for dinner on wednesday @ wasaka in mong kok with some co-workers the other day.. had lots of fun.. drinks.. sushi.. good times.. good times

went out for dinner last night with some friends of last year.. its interesting to see what can happen after a year.. so many things change in ppl's lives..

tommorow.. lunch with grans and family.. hk book fair

aug 1... cousin is having a quick wedding before she leaves for seatle..
aug 4... cousins family wedding dinner.. and then the official dinner april 24th.. hopefully exams start and finish sooner than that.. or i'll miss a fun wedding.

then

work work work some more.. till the end of august..

3rd concert of the year.. MY FAVOURITE!!!!!! so excited. aug 25/26 LEE HOM!!! live in HK!!!!! yeah YEAH YEAH!!! so far i have row 16, section 58.. which is kinda decent.. but not the best.. i'm waiting till my cousin's can get me better ones.. 300+ pics at a concert with only a few ppl i like.. imagine me at WANG LEE HOM!!!!!! i will have like 8 cameras.. and 20GBS of memory card.. i will be insanely crazy..

check www.bobotheoboe.myphotoalbum.com after toronto monday night.. and you should see over 400 somthin pics of the concert plus lots of other pics from the summer..

omg.. surprise exciting day ..

started off really really shitty. spain lost. so i was definetly pissed off..

game ended at like 4 almost 5am.. went to bed. woke up around 10..

went for breakfast at flying pan with eudora.. went to look at some comp stuff.. and then went to my cousin's store in wanchai..where we did some shopping.. clothes n jewelerry..

went to pacific place at admiralty.. the both of us are so excited and happy to see lots of pretty clothes and pretty brand names..

and the best thing happens.. we walk into zara. look at some clothes.. and then i notice margaret chung behind me!!!! and then i being the biggest loser.. especially a big celebrity loser.. start like freaking out.. and i'm like.. OMG eudora eudora.. look look.. and its margaret chung.. OMG she's even prettier in real life i find.. and she's skinny.. but not like those disgusting uber skinny hk girls.. she's like healthy skinny... prolly from all the yoga she teaches.. my cousin says she teaches yoga around the area..

and we ask her for a picture. and she was so nice and she talked to us.. we were like.. we're from toronto.. can we have our picture taken with u? i knew she was from canada.. but i wasnt 100% sure if she was from toronto. but she was.. and she was really nice. she was like askin us oh. are u guys back for summer vacation.. she was so so so nice!!!!

definetly made my day..

but then my day went downhill from there.. i left for work around 430ish after shopping with eudora.. on the way to work.. my eye started to killl..

my contacts were dying. and they kept on killing my eyes for the following 4 hours. where i honestly felt as if my eyes were gonna fall out..desite my washing and eye drops.. nothing works.. so i finally get home. and take out my contacts.. my eye is all completely red and swollen.. and it still is..

i have a feeling that i kinda scractched my eyes with my contacts.. and with all the stupid germs in hk.. i'm starting to get an infeciton in my eye...

which will totally sux.. urgh..

but leaving with a pretty picture.. so happy.. eudora's looks better tho. her camera on her cell has better quality.. so hers is nicer.. but still so happy with mine!!!

quite the eventful day today..

started off with 2 classes at work..one of which was horrible.. one of the kids was insanely out of control.. so bad that his maid had to come in and carry him home.. waaa...

then lunch at festival walk in kowloon tong where i saw.. lee san san.. sister to jan lam.. i was walking back towards the kcr to take the bus up to work and she was walking towards my direction.. very kewl.. first celebrity citing so far..

then another 2 classes.. then went to sing k with tracy.. sang all my songs!! yeah yeah!! sang from like 5-8..

then went to mong kok where we engorged ourself with street food..man i luv "smelly" tofu, and curry fish balls, and cheung fun, and ooh.. my fav summer drink .. hui lau san.. mango tapoica drink.. yum yum.. walked around.. got another piercing..

yes yes thats rite.. a 7th piercing..

total imbalance now.. 5 on my right ear.. and 2 on my left ear..

planning on going one more on my left ear and a stud on my nose before the summer comes to an end..

also got some earrings.. and while at mong kok.. saw my fave jap cartoon character.. the lil ink ball from Totoro.. they have him now.. by himself!! yeah!! i luv that thing.. its so cute.. but a lil pricey.. $138 for one lil small-sized pin up in car figure..

went to temple street.. had my fortune told by a bird.. haha. mad funny.. had some yummy food... man i luv mong kok.. so totally luv the hk streets...

took the mtr home.. watched the germany-sweden game.. yeah yeah yeah.. germany won.. can't wait till monday nite.. spain-france.. SPAIN better damn ass win!!!

mid-nite snack courtesty of 7-11.. all too lazy to go out to cway bay to actually eat.. gonna watch the argentina-mexico game at 3am.. then sleep for a few hours.. work from 1030-1230.. come home.. eat lunch.. then sleep til mid-afternoon...

so theres my eventful day.. woohoo

short blog..

may-june 2006 pics

finally mananged to upload some of the pics from summer so far..
still have lots to upload tho..

so world cup season... my new love for this world cup is

FERNANDO TORRES... he's so so pretty :P haha

and he's a really good player too.. i was watching the spain vs ukraine game..

hmmm.. can't wait till the next spain game.. MONDAY!!! weeee!!!

i'm not a big soccer fan but i luv world cup... haha..

let's go spain and england.. and germany..

lets go beckham, rooney, lampard,cole, owen,
lets go torres
lets go ronaldo
lets go klose
lets go ZZ

i only work like 2 hours a day with the exception of saturday.. and then nothign for the rest of day or night...


one would assume that with so much time, that i would be happy or excited that i can spend most of the time sleeping or just chillin..

but truth is.. i'm bored.. outta of my mind bored... there is really only so much sleeping and bumming aroudn u can do..

when your friends are either working, in school, or not in the country yet.. when your cousins are still in school.. when there are a lack of interesting english channels on tv.. when you have nobody to go hang out with or do anything with.. you get really really bored..

ive never really been one to go do anything by myself.. so that only adds to my problem..

i wonder.. if i were in toronto.. would i be as bored..

perhaps, i would have a car to go do stuff.. or more friends to hang out with... or perhaps satelite tv... or perhaps my own computer with internet acesss.. or whatever it may be..

i realize.. ...

I MISSS U PPL so much!!!!!!

ok never mind then.. no pics..stupid bloger wont let me put up pics..

so i've been back for almost 2 weeks now.. and not much as happened.. done some hanging.. done some shopping.. done some bumming.. but thats about it..

i swear.. hk is horrible for me.. it brings out the worst shopping habits in me ever!! in a small span of less than 2 weeks.. i've managed to buy 3 roxy shirts, a roxy cell phone strap, a roxy bag and like 8 pairs of earrings... i spent like $500 CAD on stuf fin less than 2 weeks.. arrrrgggggghhhh.. hbow am i possibly gonna survive the whole summer??? how how how i ask???

on the brighter side..i went for a few job interviews..now i'm just deciding where to go.. then start work in july.. and yeha i'll have $$$ again!!!

saw 2 movies since i've been back.. X3 and da vinci code.. X3 was pretty good.. da vinci code.. so-so.. book was bettter..i definetly hafta say that...


from now till july.. basically just chilling.. occasionally tutoring.. hanging out with ppl.. black eyed peas concert..hopefully i can get the tix...

july.. edmund and at17 concert... and also netvigator concert.. i think with aaron kwok and twins..

work and work some more.. some junk boat trips.. some shopping.. some hanging out.. and soon.. i'll be home!!! yeah.....!!!!

i do miss T.O... and i miss ppl too.. everybody!!!! :(

me being the crzy weird take pics of everybody and everything kinda person.. i'm gonna leave you with some pics..

finally in hongkong...

1st time ever..plane arrives like 45mins early..despite a really bumpy ride... met a really cool med student on the plane... :P kinda hot too.. haha.. he was russian.. mmmm...drools..kinda reminds me of alex on grey's!! yeah jo! greys!!!

got home... had food with my sister..chilled for a lil while at home.. just relaxing and what not.. then went out to watch XMEN with my brother and my cousins..pretty good movie!!!

next up.. DA VINCI CODE..so want to see that sooo badly...

not much happening for now..lining up some interviews for work... going to a few family dinners... grandpa's birthday..cousin's birthday..another cousin's engagement party..

prolly gonnna go do a tad bit of shopping..my cousin has a VIP card to QUIKSILVER!!!!! how sweet is that?? 20% off... only like my FAVOURITE store in hk.. well yeah..cuz it sells ROXY baby!!!

got a cell for hk.... its posted up in my name on msn... u can give me a call..text me.. or email me.. i'll prolly be a tad bit bored for a while..

ta ta

sindy

so i've been home for about 2 1/2 weeks.. leaving in a bout 8 days..
being home can be so fun.. yet can be very tiring and annoying sometimes.. i find at least

being home.. and getting to visit with friends can be so entertaining.. especially if u haven't seen them in a while and you're all catching up :)


done lots of fun stuff with all the friends since i've been back.
gone shopping DT @ eatons, gone clubbing, hung out at ppl's houses, celebrating 21'st birthdays @ chuck E cheese... (yes i have weird friends. i kno), bowling, movie, pastry run DT, more shopping, and piggin out.. i luv it all

but on the other hand.. being home means having to deal with parents.. nag this and nag that.. be home by this hour or this n that. dun get me wrong.. i luv my parents n all but its hard having to share a roof with them after u've been away for so long..

come september.. im prolly gonna go insane.. moving home after 3 years away from home..awww geez. i wanna start crying already. .
:(

leaving in 9 days.. still yet have so much to do.. more shopping.. more hanging out.. packing.. school stuff...

i may sound like a nerd when i say this.. but I"m SO EXcITED.. to go shopping for all my skewl stuff..

i get to buy knives, and a new food processor and new stand mixer... and all my book.. and my uniforms.. hehe.. my lil chef hat...


haha.. yes i've actually started to turn into a nerd.. hard to believe but true.. :) :)

1692 days ago..

a tragedy struck the world. a tragedy that to this day still affects living beings in this world
what tragedy you ask ? that would be sept 11, 2001. i'm pretty sure i need not remind anybody what happened on that day..

1692 days later.. i found myself sitting in a movie theatre with a friend of mine watching the highly controversial "united 93"

the movie was nauseating.. physically, mentionally and somewhat spiritually..

first: the cinematography of the movie was very dizzy.. thats the only way i can think of putting it.. tho.. i do hafto say it totally made sense with the movie

secondly: the event itself. to this day i can't totally understand the full context of the incident.. what triggered it? is there really a conspiracy into this incident?? can we really just use this tragedy to justify all the other issues it brings up?

thirdly: the visuals.. the utter truth of the story and how it happened.. made me really be thankful for how lucky i am.. lucky that i've never been subjected to this type of extremity, how fortunate i am to not lost anybody in the tragedy.. just fortunate in general

fourthly: the people on that plane.. i found myself realizing.. if i was on that plane.. i prolly wouldn't have done anything. i don't think i could have gotten the courage to fight back like they did.. and i guess that thought of myself as somewhat of a coward scares me.. people say that in special events like that, people do extraordinary things.. adrenaline rush.. whatever u wish to think of it as.. those people definetly rose to the occasion and did their utter best.. in the end.. they lost their lives.. but they did it for a greater cause. they saved other ppl's lives.. and they showed us that if we fight back against those who do us wrong, we can win. if we just try.

i remember being at school that day, and at first, everybody thought it was some sort of a joke.. some ppl even were saying that the French bombed the States.. i don't really know why.. but it wasn't really till after noon that the seriousness of the incident finally kicked in.. and having gone to a private skewl, where kids' parents work all over the world, including NYC and Washinton, i distinctly remember kids lining up at the pay phone and using their cell phones to call family and friends.

and in the weeks and months that followed. i noticed that people started being with family and attending religious ceremonies more, all because they were afraid.. of losing family.. dying.. amongst many things.

but now, 1692 days later, where have all those people gone? i no longer see the majority of them at any religous ceremonies, i no longer hear of the urge and need to be with your family. in fact 5 years later, i've heard less.

on a different issue.. i think the tragedy has only made some ppl worse in nature. more discrimination, very prejudice.

not to say that these people weren't that way beforehand, but its become so more common and more every-day occurences..

many times that i have travelled across the border, or left the country, i have witnessed such incidents. many times while travelling on a bus, on a plane, just walking around, i have witnessed such incidents.

y must we as the human race think badly of others? are we not all the same? we all came from the same place, born of mothers and fathers, siblings to brothers and sisters?? whats makes us feel that we're better than others? whats makes them less worthy than we?

y must we assume because one was wrong, and commiteed a bad deed, that all are wrong and will/have committed bad deeds?

if your father was a thief, does that mean you are?
if your mother was a prostitute, does that mean you are?

of course not, we make all our own decisions, and we are all unique. we all do things different.

so y is that we think that if it was a group of middle-eastern people who hijacked planes and crashed into the World Trade Centre, that all will.

what gives us the right to search them and question them at the airports, and not others?
are we not just as likely to commit crimes?

the last time i checked, there was not engraving of the word terrorist on their foreheads.. never has and most never will. you can never judge somebody by how they look.

in the end... all i have to say is this.. watching the movie .. for me was a good experience.. it brought back many issues that i have long forgotten about.. things that should be an issue for me, and for everybody else..

i, myself, am guilty of discrimination.
using racial slang, racial discrimination, racial profiling..

its something that i didn't think i did.. but i realize i do.. and i'm ashamed of myself for doing so..
but the most important thing is.. learn from our mistakes.. and change for the better..

if anything we must learn from all of this..

i don't even really know if any of this is making sense to myself, let alone anybody else..
i guess i just needed to get it off my chest

so plz. if the next time you see me or talk to me, and you hear me say something that i should not, do remind me..

sindy out

Note to self:

Stop buying stuff!!! YOU HAVE TOO MUCH CRAP ALREADY!!!


so i'm sitting here in my room. attempting to figure out how exactly i'm gonna pack everything to go home.. 'rents are coming in on the sunday to help me move everything home..

and the last two days.. i've started to pack a lil and i'm not even close to finishing.. and i realize.. i have way too much stuff.

case in point:









i already have numerous boxes filled w/stuff.. but i still have a whole bookcase of cd's and books and binders yet to pack








my comp, my printer, my monitor, my humidifier, keyboard yet not packed.. and all the crap on my desk







the stuff i have packed already.. 2 boxes.. 3 small suitcases and one big suitcase.not even close




2 drawers still with crap inside.. plus shoes..












and did i mention that i still have crap in the kitchen tOO?? all my kitchen supplies have yet to be touched.. man i sux!

i have too much crap.. and i only have 6 days to pack it all.. and i'm working monday-thursday too :( boo..

so we all know what sindy's gonna be doing this week..

being a loser at home.. and packing

so its been a while since i last blogged.. and not much has happened.. crazy easter season is officially over.. pretty hectic.. but surprisingly not as hectic as it was at valentines..

this will be my last week at LS for now.. don't kno if i'll be back in windsor in september so i may or may not be there..

and then i'm going back to T.O and then there for 3 weeks or so.. then hong kong..

but before i leave for hk... got lots planned to do..

this week: work basically monday - thursday, have a inventory shift on saturday nite.. then going with the LS crew.. prolly to 29th park..

going home 1st week of may..

going to see rent with the high skewl crew.. sweets expo with colts.. pastry run DT with the girls.. shopping.. movies.. hanging out..

gotta come back to windsor . prolly last weekend b4 i leave.. pre-celebrate the mouse's july birthday.. prolly shopping in michigan and a few nites out in D-town maybe??

doing all of that.. on top of deciding my plans for september..

ppl keep on asking.. here's all i hafta say about that. if u still don't get the answer.. then ur really not too bright.. haha

i think i have a pretty good idea where i'm going.. just gotta figure out living accomadations mainly..

living DT is too expensive.. but i really don't wanna live at home... when u'ved moved out for 3 years.. u really don't wanna move back..i luv home and all.. but permanently would be just too much.. i enjoy my freedom too much..
so if i can somehow convince the 'rents to fork out the $ for living DT, i should be good.. plus i'll have easier chance of finding job DT since so many bakeries & restaurants uptown and DT..

i'll have made my definite choice by may 15th.. deadline.. so if u really wanna know definete answer.. ask after the 15th..

leaving for hk on the 24th..

up till june...prolly just chill at home, confirm job or jobs, maybe go back to dai leung with my grams to visit my cousins and my lil cousin first removed..hung hung.. haha.. didn't have the time to visit them last summer.. so might do it before my jobs start..

june , july, and august.. working.. macau weekend trip.. maybe either taiwan/japan weekend trip with sibs? still in works.. shopping.. eat out.. sing k.. hang out with fams, hk friends, windsor fobs in hk.... gonna be one really packed summer..

come back on sept 1.. and that will be the end of my sumer... lots to do till then.. so yup

so wednesday..

was prolly my most clumsiest day of earth..

i knocked over a whole back wall of boxes.. filled with chocolates.. including hundreds of hollow chocolates.. not a good thign.. when all your store sells is chocolates.. and its easter season..

and one of those many boxes fell onto the other wall, which has like 3 shelves.. all filled with paper work.. not kewl.. all the binders fell. paper fell, microwave fell... shelf fell and broke.. not kewl not kewl..

then i go to offer samples.. trip and drop the whole plate of chocolate...

and lastly i drop a whole 5lb box of chocolate toppers...

man i'm surprised my manager hasn't fired me yet.. thats like over 1000's of $$$$ of goods i've broken.. so bad


at least on the bright side.. my co-workers got a whole lot of laugh outta it.. it was a pretty dead day.. and it would have been quite boring otherwise..

i'm the biggest KLUTZ ever!!!

and so...

It's Been Decided!


a load off my back.. WOOO!

y do i care so much?
y does it matter so much what they think?
y can't i just grow past this?
y can't i just drop everything and go?

am i being overly sensitive?
is it just me?
why does it bother me so much more than others?

would leaving make it worse or better?

i just need to get past this all.. i need to.. i have to.

i thought i had things all figured out..

but then .. i guess i don't..

i had decided that i wasn't going back to hk this summer..
but then.. i went for my interviews @ camp places for the summer.. and realized.. that it was much better $ wise to go back to hk..

so now i'm sitting here trying to figure out exactly what i should do.

PROS / CONS

Pro Hong Kong
-earn more
-get to spend time with my bro, sis, cousins, gramps
-get to hang out with my hk friends
-good job, good pay, good experience

Con Hong Kong
-spend more on stuff i don't need
-airplane tix $
-transportation, food $
-don't get to hang out with my canadian friends all summer.. missin out .. 4th year in a row
-long hours for job.. 48 hr weeks

Pro Toronto
-stay at home with mom and dad
-hang out with friends from T.O & high skewl friends
-softball :P
-less hours at work.. 40 hr weeks
-have a car to drive

Con Toronto
-stay at home with mom and dad
-much less pay

hmm. i hate having to decide.. this suxs.. urgh..

any ideas anybody?? i hate deciding..

if not to make my life only worse...

friday morning.. i officially sprained my ankle.. boo hoo.. :(

just like every nite.. had my sleeping problems... couldn't sleep..
cept friday .. i had to wake up early for an optometrist appointment.. so i ended up falling asleep friday morning at like 6.. woke up at like 9... then walk to bus stop... right by the bus stop.. had a "PK" moment and fell.. and then felt my ankle and foot really really hurt.. unable to stand on it for like an hour..

limped to see the optometrist.. and limped home.. all while in pain.. finally got an appointment at the student medical centre..

doctor's prognosis.. i've sprained my ankle.. won't heal for 3-6 weeks.. :(
i've been ordered to not walk too much.. and try and spend as much time as i can off my feet..


which is really hard.. since i'm working.. and its easter season.. which means LS is as busy as can possibly be. and i really wanna work and not stay at home.. hmm??

hopefully my ankle will heal quickly..
right now it only hurts when i'm leaning on it the wrong way or pushing all the weight on that ankle.. otherwise.. its not too bad.. i can walk but limping..

hmm.. maybe its all the Motrin ??? hey..at least it works..


on a better note... i'm gonna be spending the summer in T.O.. and i got 2 job interview this Monday & Tuesday... camp counsellor and camp activity leader sorta stuff..

which means i'm gonna be home Monday and Tuesday... gonna be hectic kidna

taking early morning train out on monday .. and back to windsor tuesday nite..

wish me luck.

i hate myself..

well i don't hate hate myself .. but i hate certain aspects of myself

MOST IMPORTANTLY... i hate how i'm always sick.. and the doctors can't seem to do shit all about it.

all my life.. been plagued with stupid health problems..

stomach problems..
eye problems..
lung problems..
broken bones & sprained body parts..
allergy & nose problems
sleeping problems..
heart problems..


frig.. name a problem .. i've prolly got it or had it at one time or another



why why why won't it just all go away for once???????????

not until recently have i realized how often people, myself included, don't pay enough attention to the things and the people around us. And majority of the time, we won't
notice until it comes down to the most crucial moment.

it makes me wonder. how many times have i not paid attention? not noticed? and by my not noticing, how many times have i made others felt lonely, upset, sad? i can't give a definete answer cause i honestly can't even count how many times. but i do know that, all those times could have been avoided if i had just not been so self-absorbed.

if i had taken the time to just say hi, taken the time to make a simple phone call, so much could been avoided. all the unhappy moments, all the tears, all the sad emotional thoughts that i may have caused others.

just in the same, i've felt that before. others have made me feel that way.. should i not have taken a hint? do unto others as u would do unto them. i kno what it feels like but yet i choose to do the same.

and now, its too late. theres nothing i can do to undo what i've done.

the only thing that i can do is to learn from my mistake and to know not to do it again.. this all, can just be a reminder to myself of what i've done wrong and what i can do to make it right again.

FRIGGIN hafta RANT!

in the last few days. i've got so pissed off at ppl around me.. i guess for some reason. all the holding it in .. i finally had to explode..

yesterday.. started good.. work 8 hrs. made over $1000 in sales.. broke my own record.. so was in a really good mood.. until like 4 pm.. my friends had wanted to go watch a movie.. i didn't really wanna but i decided to go anyway.. cuz if i didn't go .. they would not have been able to cuz i have the only car.. on tues.. thye messaged me saying they wanted to go see curious george.. and so i went to buy curious george tickets.. i called them to confirm and whatever b4hand.. they're like ok whatevewr.. 2 hours after.. thye message me saying they voted and all this shit and now they wanna go watch pink panther.. i can't change the tix now.. i'm at work.. after work .. i drove to fellowship to see what the hell is going on.. they still wanna change.. fine.. we're gonna have to leave early to exchange tix.. they all agree.
9 o'clock comes along.. and i get up to leave.. and my other friend does to.. but the other two just sit there.. even tho they kno they're suppose to leave.. and continue to sit their asses there for another 15 mins.. just because they're too scared to leave.. what the hell??

1st of all.. ur the ppl who wanted to watch the movie first.. i'm driving u guys cuz u want to go
2nd.. if ur scared to leave.. u should have said something when i told u we had to leave at 9'oclock

we finally leave and they're just so ugh.. friggin piss me off..

i luv how i feel like a fuckin driver and fuckin messenger to them all the time..
oh sindy.. can u drive me to get some groceries? oh sindy can u drive me to the bank.. oh sindy can you drive me here? and can you drive me there? oh sindy can u bring me back a superkid? can u bring me back that tub and that tub?

i swear i've bought home about 10 tubs of icecream for them.. i may get free icecream from work but that doesn't mean i should a tub home like every shift.

i just love how when they want to do something. i'm not allowed to turn them down.. and when i do cuz of good reasons.. such as i worked 8 hrs.. barely slept. and am dead tired.. they get all friggin pissed off at me.. and the odd times that i wanna go do something.. they either a) just flat out say no.. and say oh that suxs.. we don't wanna do that .. or b) say they're gonna go and they dissappear on me the last minute without so much of a "we're not coming sorry" and then when u ask them about it. they're like oh woopseee sorry..

once or twice .. i can deal with it.. not on a weekly basis.. sorry


today.. went to work again.. 6.5 hrs.. beat my record from yesterday.. $1500 in sales.. so even better mood.. until about the end of my shift.. my co-worker and i discussed about what we're each gonna do at the end of the night and what not.. she said she wanted to clean the floors and stuff .. so fine.. i'll clean the counters, and the ice-cream stuff. not a big deal.. but the whole shift.. she doesn't do anything.. just slacks off.. every two minutes .. dissappears into the back room for like 15 mins and just plays on her phone. meanwhile there is a line-up in the store..
she got hired to work ice-cream and that was it.. i got hired to do ice-cream and chocolates.. but she keeps on leaving her spot to go do stuff she shouldnt be.. and then i get yelled at by customers why it took 10 mins to get ice-cream.. frig.. she's suppose to be working there tooo. i'm going as fast as i can..

hour before closing.. she's suppose to be doing before closing cleanup in ice-cream.. she's not even in the store.. she disappears for like 20 mins to go friggin pop-corn.. i don't care that u went to go buy friggin pop-corn.. make sure ur done everythign u said ur goin to before u go.. and make sure the store isn't busy when u leave.. theres a lineup of 10 ppl waiting for icecream and 10 other ppl wanting boxes of chocolates.. there's only 3 ppl working today.. she leaves.. that leaves me and the key-holder.. we're both working off our asses.. she comes back.. and sits int he back room and continues to eat for another 10 mins.. by this time i'm frriggin exploding.

she does this every single shift.. she's lazy.. never does half the things she says she's going to.. i ended up cleaning and packing and closing the whole entire store basically by myself tonite.. only thing she does is clean the floors.. which she does while eating popcorn and dropping all the popcorn onto the floor that she just cleaned.. i had to resweep the floor after.

frig.. i hate it when ppl just slack off and shit just cuz they think they should have special treatment..

i understand that u may not be able to do certain things and thats fine .. i can do those thigns.. but go do stuff u can.. instead of dissappearing and complaining and just simply not doing shit all.

urgh!!!!!


I JUST HATE IT WHEN PPL PISS ME OFF.

normally i'm pretty good with dealing with ppl and tolerating them.. but lately. ppl piss me so much more!!! FRIG

Meet my New Love...

well not really a new love.. a renewed love..

damn.. he's so amazing.. recently i've been listening to his new album

"Heroes of Earth"
its the best cd ever!!

he incorporates chinese opera into his r&b style.. damn good!

and Yes!! it even beats November's Chopin.. hard to believe since i am the ultimate jay chou fan.. but b4 jay chou existed.. i was a wang lee hom fan

he's so talented..




he's a university classically trained violinist with a bach.degree in MA from williams (#1 liberal arts college in ALL of US), a Masters from Berklee college!! BERKLEEE!!!! i applied there and got royally rejected.. but hey thats cuz im not that good..



he plays the piano.. and is amazing at it.. he can improv like no other.

he plays the drums..




he plays the erhu.. and that thing is hard. i took lessons when i was young.. and listening to one of the songs on his new cd.. soo good.. makes me wanna play again..



he dances ( to the equiv of RAIN.. and RAIN is good)

he sings, writes his owns songs, writes his own lyrics, produces his own albums, writes music for other ppl , and acts too..

this guy is smart.. like genius smart... he got close to 1600 on his SAT's, got accepted to princeton and yale and stanford and all those ivy league skewls.. was a jock in high skewl, speaks perfect english.. (kinda has to.. grew up in NY).. and while still being just a normal guy

Oh ..and did i mention that he's hot??? oh yeah.. really really hot.. droolworthy hot



but anyhow i guess the point of this blog is...

well aside from just going goo goo and ga ga over Wang Lee Hom..

is that some ppl are just SO lucky to be so talented.. but their success and fame isn't just because their being lucky or talented.. they have to work really hard to get to where they are..

take lee hom for example.. he comes from a medical family and his family wanted him to follow in those footsteps.. but he knew what it was he wanted to do and he went and did it. it was hard for him.. lots of things he needed to learn and overcome.. but he did it and now its rewarding for him as well as every fan he has..

and i guess.. it kinda reminded me that i need to work hard to get where i want.. i need to perservere and hold in there.. kno what i want and do everything i can to get there..

i gotta work work work and not give up.. i kno i can do it if i just put my heart and soul into it.

only till recently have i noticed how annoying americans in windsor can be..

so this weekend is superbowl 40 in detroit. and being that windsor is a 2 sec walk away from detroit. and that legal gambling/ strip bar age is 18, and drinking/smoking age is 19.. all the americans from every inch of the states flocked over to windsor.. celebs included.. (paris hilton, gwen stefani, ben affleck.. to name a few)

and so every bar and restaurant within the downtown windsor and even within campus region is filled to the max with americans.. normally they're here every weekend anyway.. but they never bothered me so much..

case #1
so i was working the other day. and some stupid american comes in and tries to pay american.. which is fine cuz we take it.. but we only give back canadian change. and this guy.. despite me having told him this fact previous to his ordering his ice-cream and him nodding, totally freaks out afterwards when i hand him his CAD $.. he's like yelling at me.. saying i'm stupid n stuff.. that i should have given him US$ since he gave me US$... i couldn't help him. and so i said u can get a refund if u want.. but i can't give u US $. we don't have any.. and then he starts going on and on about how canada is stupid.. saying how we should just become the US.. and then there'd be no crap about CAD $ and US$.. and just basically insults canada and every living being in this country.. after like yelling at me and this other girl for 10 mins. he demands to see our manag. so fine.. go talk to the manag.. not gonna make a difference. and this stupid moron goes and demands that he get free stuff cuz he was "mistreated" while in our store.. what the hell?? how did we mistreat him? we took his damn ass attitude and insults for 10 mins straight without so much as a mutter.. frig.. he even said we were discriminating him cuz he was american.. WTF??? all while this is happening.. we're getting a line of like 30 pppl cuz he's holding up the line.

a) you're a retard. this is canada.. we have CAD currency not US.. we don't deal with US $
b) i told you before you ordered.. and you nodded..
c) its not my fault we don't take it.. its company policy.. as well as like every other company in the malls.
d) YOU"RE A MORON!!!! canada is a much better country.. we don't get friggin bombed every other day..
e) we're not discriminating you cuz ur american.. we're ignoring you cuz ur A F*ckin AsshOle..

damn.. made me so pissed!

case #2
me and somes friend went downtown to eat dinner & celeb sighting.. yes there are a LOT of celebs in town for superbowl.. paris hilton, ben affeck, jen garner, gwen steffani, her husband, hugh heffner, apparently jayz too... and others

so we booked a table at this restaurant.. we called ahead for reservations cuz we knew it'd be busy.. so to be safe and what not.. so we get there.. this place is crowded to the max.. we had reservations but still had to wait lke 20 mins.. whatever.. understandable.. other ppl had to wait like 1 hr

a bunch of stupid americans walk in.. demanding a table.. literally.. not being polite and asking or anything.. just walks in.. and goes table for whatever.. the host is like there's a wait of 1-1 1/2 hr.. they're like.. we're not waiting that long.. get us a table now. no way in hell is anybody gonna let them just take a table.. so ppl are like uh.. you need to wait.. we were here b4 you and we're waiting.. ur gonna hafta wait too. the americans are all like.. no we dont.. we're american. damn i hate you .. ur annoying, arrogant, cocky, assholes, and i wanna kick ur ass

so we ended up getting our table after like 20 mins.. we start eating and wut not.. the stupid ppl end up getting a table after an hour or so.. during which they decided to drink so much alcohol that they were honestly sick..

they finished about the same time as we did.. we took our time.. eatting and talking and what not.. so we're walking out the door.. and one of the stupid americans turns around from where he's sitting at the bar and literally pukes all over the floor onto one of my friends shoes.. and he just looks at her and laughs..

wtF??? u just puked on her and ur laughin.. its not funni.. ur a moron who can't hold ur liquor..


damn.. i'm not saying that all americans are bad.. i've got american friends and family.. and they're perfectly fine.. its just some of them.. mostly the ones that come over from detroit on the weekend to the windsor bars and clubs.. they think they like own the place.. picking fights. and throwing up all over the place.. urgh

there better not be those stupid ppl when i work tonite and tommorow or i'm gonna go and like run one of them over..

had quite the eventful weekend...

friday: went to work.. got some good news.. one of my co-workers is pregnant with a baby.. and i'm so proud of her.. she's being so brave :)

sat: early morning pratice.. altho had some dificulties with ppl.. was still alrite.. napped for about 5 hrs after pratice. around 630.. went out with the 2 other members of trio, plus mouse's housemate alex for chinese new year dinner at shins shins.. was suppose to be fred and val too but they backed out lastminute with some important stuff.. haha funni nite.. cuz alex for the 1st time got to see eunice's hardcore eating abilities .. some good food and good company.. and then not surprisingly, the trio ended up at the crepe place again.. haha.. why we always go there.. i really couldn't tell you... trio ended up at my place, where the horse continued to eat popcorn, grapes, apple pie, and ice-cream.. afterwards, drove her home.. called the leung family in hk.. "bai lin".. got to talk to some cousins, aunts, uncles and my grandmother..
roomate comes down to my room.. we're both bored outta our minds.. so we go out to the casino since i've never actually gone to the one here in windsor.. while in the car.. i call the ng family in hk... talked to some relations again.. but then i get some really good news!!

Laurie's getting MARRIED!!!!


laurie is one of my cousins.. so first cousin of the ng family to get married.. 2007 spring.. OMG so excited.. i LUV weddings.. i am so going back!!

hung out at casino for about 1 hr.. then went to early breakfast at like 230AM at golden griddle.. came up.. slept

sunday: woke up early for wcbc.. afterwards.. went home slept for an hour or so before working for 3.5 hrs.. busiest sunday ever.. what's up with that? we had non-stop line up of like 20 ppl straight for 2hrs!!! huh?? whats with the sudden cravings for ice-cream and chocolates?
got off at 530.. went home.. got a lil glammed up.. then picked wynne and victor, and the housemate.. and went out to "Via Italia" in windsor for dinner.. went to mezzo ristorante and lounge for dinner

place was pretty good.. i had the mixed green salad, plus the tuna.. hmm both were really good.. so sad tho.. camera was low on batts.. couldn't take pics.. then ordered desserts.. em and i both ordered the warm english souffle.. but what the hell?? the chef didn't even kno how to make a souffle.. damn.. so disappointed.. his/her souffle was flat as hell, sticky and way too overly sweet.. reminded me of a molten lava cake more than anything.. definet waste of $10. em and victor both had the lamb.. wynne had the pappardelle
aside from that.. dinner was good

came home.. and just chilled..
next adventure on erie str. La Casalinga ristorante.. that place looks soo good.. can't wait to try it

sad that i didn't go home for chinese new year.. but dispite that.. i still had a very good weekend :)
got some lucky pocket $, chinese new year cake, and my some homemade chinese-style carrot cake courtesy of my mom and dad..



best thing of this weekend.. i have made a decision about 2 things that i've been contemplating for a really really long time

1) nose stud.. i am gonna go thru with that.. prolly get that during the summer.. can't do it now cuz not allowed facial jewelerry at work.. not rite now at least

2) tattoo.. i've been thinking about getting one since i was 18. couldn never decided what to get.. or where to get.. or whether i'd actually go thru with it.. to be honest.. i've actually walked into a tat parlour at least twice and chickened out at the last minute.. and i have decided that i will EVENTUALLY before i'm 25 get a tattoo... something that has to do with my last name, my grandfathers name, and incorporating another inmportant thing that reps me.. dunno yet.. when i do decide.. and when i save enough $$ for it.. i WILL do it.. no more chickening out... as to where? i haven't decided that either.. shoulder? by belly button? hip? lower back?? dunno.. gotta figure out the pattern first...

haha.. so yup... its 330am. and my finger hurts from typing. i cut it at work and i didn't even kno.. don't u just hate it when u cut ur finger at the tip and u can't like put a bandaid on it cuz its an awkward position?

i'm odd and say odd things.. but u should kno that..

lates

Friday:

9:30 - went to car show with frankie, heather and andrew.. lots of nice cars, but a lack of free stuff.. i remember last year when i went they were give away loads of free stuff; postcards, posters, pens, lanyards, laser pointers, cds... LOTS.. this year they skimped out..

all i got was a porsche poster, a cd, and a WICKED 2006 Volkswagon GTI poster.. haha

ended spending about 5 hrs at the car show.. to which i have to say ..

HIGHTLIGHT of the event.. most definetly 4 European salesmean at Volvo.. y u ask?? well lets just they wore just the MOST ridiculous colour suit ever to have been made.. serious.. so ugly!!!

we went to this lil restaurant called zoom during lunch.. and this guy was sitting out on the patio in his hideous suit eating his lunch.. and we honestly burst out laughin.. and we couldn't even help it.. haha

but overall.. i think the car show was definetly worth my $19.. and fun.. getting to spend time with my cds'ers.. catching up on some old moments and wut note..

6:00 - had to work for 3.5 hrs.. was alrite.. mall was not too busy.. ended doing some packaging and cleaning the showcase.. and me.. the EVER KLUTZ.. dropped like 3 plates of chocolates on the floor.. and so i had to restock as well .. dumb dumb me :(

10:00 - went to watch "Underworld: Evolution" with the 2 other members of the trio, the mouse's roomate and another friend.. well letts just say.. i hated ever moment of that..

excerpt from my msn space.. just to lazy to retype it all

"so last nite.. a group of us, under the persusasion of the mouse decided to go watch underworld..

the movie was .. shall we say..

gore, and a few scenes of porn, and then more gore.
without a workable plot or anything.. it was purely 105 mins of gore and porn...

after of which, i and friend of us was bamboozled as to why this was the 1st choice of the mouse..

throught the 105 mins of this movie.. this friend and i were, lets say.. definetly not enjoying it..

while the mouse,and his roomate loved ever moment..despite our contest

after the movie, the mouse and his roomate continually decided to rub it in throught the whole ride home.. talking about more blood and gore..

and to that... I swear.. THE MOUSE IS GONNA PAY!!!!!!!

oh just u wait and see.. i'll get you! "

so i have a very eventful friday.. and saturday is likely to be the same..

i have to work from 10 -3 as a telemarketer for a travel agency, then at 4 i have an interview at applebees which is like a fmily restaurant.. and then afterwards i have a 1 hr pratice.. and maybe some other stuff .. very very busy..

sitting through a 3 hr workshop today made me wonder..

should i really be a part of this team if my heart isn't in it?
i mean.. there is a reason for standing there every week.. in front of everybody..
and i kno what that reason is.. i just dont really know if i believe or agree with that reason..

the others.. the rest of the team is there .. for a majority of the time.. because they believe in the reasoning..

but i don't really.. and i haven't really for a long time.. and most of the team knows.. but.. i guess my whole problem is..

am i being honest? and am i being responsible??

i'm not in this for the rite reasons..

i will admit.. i do enjoy being there.. its made me closer to those around me.. i enjoy the company.. and just being there.. but does that necessarily mean its ok for me to be there despite my not being there for the right reasons??


i guess it mite not make too much sense .. since u don't quite kno the context..

on the other hand.. the only reason as to where i am now is because i kinda got pushed into it.. i joined to do a simple task.. but was in a way pushed up to a higher level with out my consent..

and i guess i never bothered to say anything about it to the ppl in charge.. but i found myself always complaining and regretting not saying anything

in a way

it just makes me wonder.. how many things in life do we participate in, go to, do, say... all for the wrong reasons??

are I being true to myself, my "teammates", others around me, the community?

in a way.. going to whatever it is, doing whatever it is, saying whatever.. its all lie.. we're not really in it.. we're just doing/saying/going for the sake of it..

so what exactly is to be done?