Friday:

9:30 - went to car show with frankie, heather and andrew.. lots of nice cars, but a lack of free stuff.. i remember last year when i went they were give away loads of free stuff; postcards, posters, pens, lanyards, laser pointers, cds... LOTS.. this year they skimped out..

all i got was a porsche poster, a cd, and a WICKED 2006 Volkswagon GTI poster.. haha

ended spending about 5 hrs at the car show.. to which i have to say ..

HIGHTLIGHT of the event.. most definetly 4 European salesmean at Volvo.. y u ask?? well lets just they wore just the MOST ridiculous colour suit ever to have been made.. serious.. so ugly!!!

we went to this lil restaurant called zoom during lunch.. and this guy was sitting out on the patio in his hideous suit eating his lunch.. and we honestly burst out laughin.. and we couldn't even help it.. haha

but overall.. i think the car show was definetly worth my $19.. and fun.. getting to spend time with my cds'ers.. catching up on some old moments and wut note..

6:00 - had to work for 3.5 hrs.. was alrite.. mall was not too busy.. ended doing some packaging and cleaning the showcase.. and me.. the EVER KLUTZ.. dropped like 3 plates of chocolates on the floor.. and so i had to restock as well .. dumb dumb me :(

10:00 - went to watch "Underworld: Evolution" with the 2 other members of the trio, the mouse's roomate and another friend.. well letts just say.. i hated ever moment of that..

excerpt from my msn space.. just to lazy to retype it all

"so last nite.. a group of us, under the persusasion of the mouse decided to go watch underworld..

the movie was .. shall we say..

gore, and a few scenes of porn, and then more gore.
without a workable plot or anything.. it was purely 105 mins of gore and porn...

after of which, i and friend of us was bamboozled as to why this was the 1st choice of the mouse..

throught the 105 mins of this movie.. this friend and i were, lets say.. definetly not enjoying it..

while the mouse,and his roomate loved ever moment..despite our contest

after the movie, the mouse and his roomate continually decided to rub it in throught the whole ride home.. talking about more blood and gore..

and to that... I swear.. THE MOUSE IS GONNA PAY!!!!!!!

oh just u wait and see.. i'll get you! "

so i have a very eventful friday.. and saturday is likely to be the same..

i have to work from 10 -3 as a telemarketer for a travel agency, then at 4 i have an interview at applebees which is like a fmily restaurant.. and then afterwards i have a 1 hr pratice.. and maybe some other stuff .. very very busy..

sitting through a 3 hr workshop today made me wonder..

should i really be a part of this team if my heart isn't in it?
i mean.. there is a reason for standing there every week.. in front of everybody..
and i kno what that reason is.. i just dont really know if i believe or agree with that reason..

the others.. the rest of the team is there .. for a majority of the time.. because they believe in the reasoning..

but i don't really.. and i haven't really for a long time.. and most of the team knows.. but.. i guess my whole problem is..

am i being honest? and am i being responsible??

i'm not in this for the rite reasons..

i will admit.. i do enjoy being there.. its made me closer to those around me.. i enjoy the company.. and just being there.. but does that necessarily mean its ok for me to be there despite my not being there for the right reasons??


i guess it mite not make too much sense .. since u don't quite kno the context..

on the other hand.. the only reason as to where i am now is because i kinda got pushed into it.. i joined to do a simple task.. but was in a way pushed up to a higher level with out my consent..

and i guess i never bothered to say anything about it to the ppl in charge.. but i found myself always complaining and regretting not saying anything

in a way

it just makes me wonder.. how many things in life do we participate in, go to, do, say... all for the wrong reasons??

are I being true to myself, my "teammates", others around me, the community?

in a way.. going to whatever it is, doing whatever it is, saying whatever.. its all lie.. we're not really in it.. we're just doing/saying/going for the sake of it..

so what exactly is to be done?