starting today on a happier note.. i'm trying to figure out whether i should do 40 days with wcbc.. i mean.. at mcbc.. i never did it.. b/c i was all not liking mcbc ... but i mean here.. i'm finding my place.. my belonging.. and in a way.. i feel like i'm being called back to the father.. in the last few years.. ive drifted.. first only a lil bit.. to completely shunning him out of my life.. first it was only skipping sunday school every so often after worship.. to completely not goin to koinonia.. to not even goign to sunday school and occassionaly goign to worship.. at least only when my parents are home.. and even rejecting words of prayer. words of worship.. anything that had anything to do with the christian faith..

in the last 3 years.. i've gone to the extreme.. i've done everything he's told me not to.. and my excuse for doing it.. was i wanted to enjoy life while i still could.. but someone told me that was no reason/excuse to live the way i was.. i didn't listen.. and at moments i even dreaded their conversations.. but now.. i guess i wanna say thanks.. to trying to help me.. even tho i tried to push them away..

they could have chosen to give up on me.. leave me to be. but yet they stuck with me.. challenging me... helping me to find my way back .. and i really do appreciate.. the things.. and at moments then.. i may have said things i shouldn't.. done things i shouldn't.. and i kinda regret the things..

i admit.. there are still questions.. that are unanswered for me.. but at least.. i've gone to the point.. where i realized that i had to turn back.. i realized my mistakes.. and i kno..

thats why.. at this moment.. i'm stopping.. and i'm turning back.. i've reached the big stop..

along the way there have been ppl.. who helped me.. and i believe this is the time to say thanks..

orange
tiff
jess lam
sam
jo
peter
cy
jon wong

i just wanna say thanks.. its greatly appreciated for all the help that you've given me..

thank you.. from the bottom of my heart..