Some women don't deserve to be mothers!!!!

i never really thought i'd ever say that.. but today.. man totally changed my opinion...

First.. i had to go to work today.. so i took the bus. and just like every other time.. i'd see kids and parents on the bus.. but today.. there was these 5 ppl... 2 adults.. and 3 kids..2 about ages 3 and 6.. and a lil baby.. maybe a year old.. the 2 adults were i believe mother and daughter.. and the kids were the daughter's.. and man.. i dun like to pre-judge.. or discriminate or anything.. but they looked rather shabby.. in the sense that they were dirty( like not-clean), had drug-shot eyes and were very clothes that looked like they hadnt been cleaned in ages.. and smelled bad.. like garbage bad..

and on the bus.. one of the little girls wanted to stand with her grandmother and her older sister at the front of the bus.. but her mother didn't want her to .. she wanted her to sit at the back.. so she basically pushes her daughter all the way back.. and on the way back.. her daughter falls and hits her head on the floor of the bus b/c she pushed her too hard.. and the mother like picks her up by her jacket with a lot of force.. and drags her to the back of the bus... her daughter is like wailing cuz she's in pain.. and all the mother can do is keep on yelling at her.. telling her to shut up and stop being a cry baby .. the whole entire ride.. 45 mins.. the lil girl is crying.. the mom is yelling and hitting her daughter.. the whole bus is looking.. and finally another lady asks if the girl's ok.. the mom shoots the lady with the meanest eyes ever.. and keeps on yelling at her daughter.. the grandmother is not doing anything..

honestly.. i don't think she deserves to be a mother.. she can't do that to her child..

as much as i believe that every woman's best job in the world is to be a mother.. and that every women should have that opportunity.. i don't think that certain ppl should..

ppl like that mother and grandmother definetly dont.. people who can barely take care of themselves.. ppl who can't stay off drugs n alcohol.. ppl with no respect for others.. ppl with no manners.. they shouldn't be raising kids.. cuz those kids will grow up to be just like them.. and those kids deserve better than that.. those kids should be living ina safe environment where they wont be hit, yelled at, exposed to drugs, sex, alcohol.. they should be living with parents who will teach them right from wrong, teach them manners.. teach them important things.. let them live a happy childhood.. and honestly. if a mother/father cannot do those things.. they don't deserve to be parents.. being parents is a gift.. a gift from God..

either treasure your child.. or it'll backfire on you.. those parents wonder why their kids ended up in juvi, jail, prostitution, theft, crime.. and they get all angry cuz their kids don't respect them, or have no respect for authority.. u kno wut.. u caused it.. ur the reason for all of it.. don't blame on society.. don't blame it on others.. look at the way you raised your kid..


i just had to vent about that.. bothered me the whole entire day.. urgh

Doctors SUX ASSS sometimes!!!!

so today.. i went to yet another doctor.. and is it just me or is it lately, doctors don't really seem to kno what they're doing..

i mean.. i can't say all doctors.. but in general.. well.. at least the many that i've seen in both toronto, hongkong and windsor

1) they never seem to pay attention.. as a doctor.. is it not ur duty to pay attention to detail? frig.. one of my doctors almost killed me.. he prescribed me this med that had deadly reactions with another.. and he didn't even bother to look at the med chart when i went in.. if i hadn't asked him if it was ok to take it with other meds.. i swear i'd prolly be in the ER rite now..

2) they can't diagnose.. i will say that yes it is hard.. cuz there are conflicting symptoms.. but frig.. how is it that every doctor.. from every involved field. from like family doctor to specialists.. to the head of department at a hospital... none of them kno what they're doing

3) meds.. they dont kno their meds.. i admit yes there are a lot of meds out there.. and a lot of them work the same and wut not.. but if u kno that u have a patient coming in.. maybe u should do a lil research b4 they come in.. show a lil effort..

4) they don't care.. you walk in.. you talk.. they reply.. you leave.. when they talk to you.. they're not even like talking to you.. they're just talking..when you're talking.. they're not listening..


aaaaaaaarrrrggggghhhhh.. so annoying

on a better note.. this weekend should be good.. a much needed weekend of just fun.. relaxation...hanging out.. no stress.. no doctors...

going home on friday.. hangin out with friends day.. then cindy's wedding on saturday.. all day and all nite.. then sunday.. going into london to visit some peeps on the way back to the ghetto.. .

recently .. i'm starting to like the environment of windsor much more than usual.. i'm liking the quietness.. i'm liking the fact that i'm antisocial.. that i never go out when i'm in windsor.. it just provides me with a lil room to breathe.. think.. just be by myself..

can never get that at home. haha.. exact opposite of most ppl.. usually they're able to do that at home.. but when at skewl.. they've got skewl stuff.. and friends.. and wut not..

but then when have i ever been like everybody else?

Promises

what exactly is a promise?

Definitions:

1. transitive and intransitive verb vow: to assure somebody that something will certainly happen or be done promised to come promised that the patient would recover

2. transitive verb pledge something: to pledge to somebody to provide or do something promised them a kitten

3. transitive and intransitive verb make somebody expect something: to cause somebody to expect something The sky promised rain.

4. transitive verb assure or warn somebody: to assure or warn somebody that something is true or inevitable Things will be fine, I promise you.

5. transitive verb affiance somebody: to engage somebody to be married ( dated ) She told him that she was promised to someone else.

source

i didn't really use to think so much about promises.. the ones i made.. the ones other ppl made for me.. for others... i mean.. i didn't think about it into any depth.. i'll admit that i've made my fair share of broken and forgotten promises..

and i never really thought about how much it hurt..

till now.

it hurts the most when its the ppl closest to you that break their promises.. your family... your bestest of friends.. and it makes you wonder.. whether they really meant it when they made that promise to you??

i can't help but wonder.. am i even important to them? by the fact that they don't remember the promises that they made.. does that mean the things i've said to them and them back to me.. does that mean that they weren't listening or never cared?

i guess the one big thign that brought this whole thing up was this weekend..

halloween.. i'm normally not one thats big on halloween or anything.. but.. this weekend .. i had previously planned on going to london.. i had planned this back in october.. with all my high skewl friends.. during thanksgiving.. we were planning to all go in.. and one of my best friends.. promised that she would let me kno what was goign on.. she knew exactly how i felt about being left out in the loop.. and why?? because she was one of the ppl that i always went to.. cried with..
she promised that we would do something together.. whether it be we go to london.. or i go home.. or she comes here.. didn't matter..

and then mid october.. she says that she can't do anything for halloween for family reasons.. and thats perfectly fine.. i understand that..

but

WHY IS IT THAT I JUST FOUND OUT THAT SHE WENT TO LONDON WITH HER BF TO MY OTHER HIGH SKEWL FRIEND'S HALLOWEEN PARTY???

1st of all.. we've been talking all this time.. and she never once mentioned to me
2nd.. all of my other friends knew about our agreement and they didn't say anythign to me either..
3rd.. she says she 's my best friends.. but actions speak louder than words..


she of all people should know how i would feel about broken promises and being left out.. FUCK>>>

and to add on top of everything.. i found out.. and i asked her, her bf.. my other high skewl friends.. they're stil pretending it never happened.. WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE TO LIE???

perhaps its the lying that bugs me the most.. i wouldn't be so upset if they just told me what happened flat out.. i'd still be mad at them but i wouldn't feel so betrayed.. i'd get over in a week max.. and then it would no longer be an issue.. but now.. i just feel like i don't kno them anymore.


don't get me wrong or anything.. i'm not saying i'm perfect or have never broken a promise.. hell i've done tat more times than i can think of.. and i'm not proud of it.. but thats the truth.

and why in life?? if theres one bad thing happening.. it always seems to attract a million others.. life is harder enough as it is.. i don't need more things... i'm just so tired with life.. and all of its problems.. sometimes..

now don't get me wrong.. i'm not in any way suicidial.. or wanting to take my life.. but

its so hard that sometimes i just wanna give up.. give up on myself.. on others.. it just doesn't seem to worth it anymore.. life is supposed to be meaningful.. life is suppose to have a purpose is it not??

what exactly is mine then??

a lot of ppl have mentioned to me that there's no place for them to comment on my blog.. especially since my last blog..

i'm not gonna put a tagboard on my blog.. and i dunno how to get comments going on this layout

so if you have something u wanna say to me.. please do so either directly on msn or email it me.. see the "MAIL ME"

this works out better for me.. im not 100% comfortable with plasting all of my feelings and emotions on the internet.. i'm ok with saying that i'm upset but not comfortable enough to just tell about everybody in the world what's going on in my screwed up life..

hope u all understand

thanks

it honestly feels like i'm gonna collapse..
both mentally and physically

my body has worsened.. once again.. honestly i sometimes wish i could just take someone else's body.. at least it'd be less medicated.. less surgical scars.. less pain.. less discomfort..

medications never seem to help.. in fact.. they usually worsen more than anything..
now all fo the old stomach, heart, lungs, and sleep problems are back and for the worse.. i don't even kno know how i survive each day.. its so hard to just get up .. let alone go to class.. do work.. read.. write my midterms..

i honestly wanna just drop a few of my courses.. be part time..
at least i'd be less busy.. have a lil more energy..

but OF COURSE>. i don't have that option.

and mentally.. this whole sick thing isnt doing wonders for me mentally either.. to be truthful.. sometimes i just think about giving up .. no more meds. no more doctors.. no more surgeries.. and just let my body kill itself on its own pace.. i'm so tired of being given false hope.. and then just being slapped right back in the face. falling farther down into the endless pit.


and with all the thing im dealing with now.. family and skewl.. thats taking its toll on my body as well..

i never thought my family was the kind that.. i dunno even kno how to describe it.. let just say.. theres an incredible amount of things that worrie me rite now..
i don't think i've cried as much in the last year as i have in the last 30 something hours..
and the thing is.. theres not a thing i can do about it.. nobody seems willing to tell me the truth.. nor will they bother to at least tell me a reasonable excuse.. i mean they will be lying.. but at least i'd feel better about it.. its selfish i kno that.. but in the end.. it only hurts more when you find out.. after everybody.. EVERYBODY!!!! knows.. ur the very last one to find out.. but you're a part of that family too.. it kinda makes u feel like..not important.. that nobody really thinks of u as a part of that family?? i don't even kno what to think anymore.. my brain is so tired from thinking...

all i can say.. is my life suxs.. and its collapsing on me.. my life .. i don't even what it is.. the life i thought i had.. is one truly distorted image in my mind rite now.. it doesn't make sense.. it has no meaning.. it's just one complete blur

I feel like SHIT!!!

I TAG JOHANNA LEUNG.. HA..
now u hafta do the 5 weird facts..

thought u'd get out of it did ya?? ur stupidity for telling me that i didn't tag you!

so apparently.. i got tagged by timmy tum tums ..
and since i just had one of those sleepless nights.. i guess i have not much more to do.. technically i do. with 2 midterms.. but hey.. who needs studying??

so i'm suppose to say 5 weird facts about myself.. and then list names of ppl i'm tagging..

im weird.. and everybody knows that.. so i guess i hafta think of the 5 weirdest thigns about me

1) anybody and everybody who has ever borrowed a pen/pencil/writing tool knows i'm weird.. like extremely.. i have this "thing" where i will hunt u down if u borrow my pen and don't give it back..literally.. in high skewl.. i lent my pens to my friends.. and i would chase them down the halls.. until they gave them back.. and when u do give it back.. u hafta put it back in my pencil case a certain way.. like all the writing ends on one side.. all the writing tips facing one way.. and the ruler one way.. that sorta thing

2)another weird fact.. i have a massive obsession with mooncakes.. u kno the mid-autumn festival mooncakes?? every late august/early sept.. if i'm in hk.. i'll deliberately save like $300-$500HK and buy like 2 or 3 boxes of mooncakes @ the airport.. usually one of the icy kind.. and 2 of the double egg yolk white lotus ones..the ones with 4 huge mooncakes in each box... and here's the gross part.. i'll usually.. by the end of my 16 hour flight back to TOR, will have finished at least 3 mooncakes in one of the boxes if not more.. ONE TIME.. i actually didn't eat any of the flight meals.. and just ate mooncakes all 16 hours.. needless to say.. i didn't have any more mooncakes when i got off the plane.. my brother thought i was psycho.. and when i'm not in hk for the summer.. my relatives will bring them back when they come back.. and i will usually finish the 2-3 boxes in about a week.. gross? yes i kno

3)bare walls freak me out.. like walls in any colour that don't have some sort of assessorie on them.. it makes me very uncomfortable.. so for anybody thats ever seen my room.. whether the one at home in T.O or my dorm room 1st year.. or the room i'm in now.. all of my walls are filled with stuff.. whether they be posters, pictures, weird brand tags from all my shopping, or just random stuff animals.. i even have chopsticks on my walls.. the 1st or 2nd week of every school year bothers me a lot.. b/c i haven't quite unpacked and stick things up on the wall.. or haven't had time to print out pictures.. and my walls are very bare.. it bothers me.. i don't know why..

4)i have 3 BIRTH CERTIFICATES!!! one for my "original" english name and "original chinese name", one for my "now" english name", and one for my "now" chinese & english name.. haha.. its weird.. i won't tell u what my original english name is.. but its weird.. very weird.. and its GONNA STAY A SECRET!!!!!! so no asking

like.. i had a different english name on my very 1st birth certificate.. but then my parents changed it.. my 2nd cert says Sindy * * Leung.. which is my name now.. minus the * *.. not telling u my full chinese name..
and my parents decided to change my written chinese name too.. something to do with how ppl write the "leung" in chinese.. some ppl write it with 2 "piets" and some wth 3 "piets".. so i don't actually kno if i'm even writing my chinese name right now a days..

for some reason its hard to think of weird things when asked to.. i can do it so easily normally.. so hmm??

5) this is kinda weird.. well i don't think its weird.. but i've had ppl say that i'm weird b/c of it.. i almost never wear the same earrings on both ears.. or in any of my 6 ear piercings. i only wear them the same.. if i "NEED" to.. like getting dressed up..that sorta thing.. but u will notice.. i always have differnt earrings.. in fact.. i don't normally buy pairs.. i usually buy most of my earrings in hk.. which makes it easier.. cuz u can buy singles in mong kok in hk.. but yup.. i just find that i don't like wearing the same earrrings.. i don't find it weird.. but ppl do..


so there u go.. 5 weird facts about me that i don't kno if u ever knew..

and to elaborate on timmy tum tum's 1st weird fact..


Words of Tim
"1. when i have a crush on someone i think of them a lot and apply them to almost every situation that i encounter in my mind. (ie. Tim is picking his nose, "i wonder if X is picking her nose now too?", Tim is washing the dishes, "i wonder if X is drying her plates or bowls now?", Tim is putting on cologne, "i hope she doesn't use cologne!", you get the point)"

haha i totally do that tooo... well not the nose picking part at least..
when i crush someone.. i associate them with certain things.. like i crush "mr.so & so" .. "mr.so&so" drives a bright neon green i dunno whatever.. everytime i see a bright neon green whatever car.. i will think hmm.. i wonder if thats him.. or i wonder if "mr.so&so" is in his car rite now... or in a very loserly (is that even a word??)way.. i'll see the associating object.. and i'll hope that hmm.. maybe "mr.so&so" is here.. then i can accidentally bump into him.. and say hello.. or even hide behind a column somewhere and stare at him..

yes yes.. im very stalkerish.. i kno.. freaky.. weird yes i kno..


um.. so i'm suppose to tag ppl.. but most of the ppl that i kno that read my blog all got tagged by tim already..

:( u stole all my ppl tim.. :(

so i guess whoever isn't on his list but reads this blog is tagged!!!! whoever u are!!! its all based on the honour system.

and yet again i changed my layout.. this time.. just cuz its very coincidental..

as u all kno.. i'm a huge ass fan of roxy. yes yes i kno.. materialistic and vain..yes

but anyhow.. so over the summer in hk.. i saw a really nice pair of flip flops . but they weren't roxy.. they were billabong.. its ok.. wutever.. i bought them anyway..

and then randomly stumbling on blogskins.com.i found this layout.. and HA!!!! those are my flip flops.. well except mine are pink.. so i thought it was funni.. and changed my layout..

I ... am officially a member of the Laura Secord Corporation..

i finally found a job after handing out like a bizillion resumes and going to million different job interviews..

at first.. i didn't really wanna work food related.. but i mean .. its better than having no job at all..

now.. i kinda wanna work there.. i'm working at the new concept store in d-mall in windsor.. the first one in ontario i believe.. which is pretty cool



and no nasty lookign uniform for me.. just plain white t-shirt.. black pants.. black shoes.. ooh.. and a laura secord apron.. not too bad.

plus i get a good discount on all Laura Secord products.. ice-cream and chocolate.. which helps.. cuz SUPERKID is only like MY FAVOURITE!!!!!




haha
so i guess this will mean me going home less often.. or anywhere in fact.. prolly go home at christmas, again at reading week and then prolly after final exams in april..

hehe.. sorrie ppl.. but at least earning much need money.. i spent way too much .. i swear

thursday is my first day.. lets see how that goes.. for now.. gotta go back to studying some more.. test tommorow.. and midterm monday and tuesday

yikes :O

a very long day..
woke up at like 8...
had pratice till about 1130..
3 friends of mine.. had convo today.. so went to take some pics with them..and say goodbye
then ate yummi spaghetti n meatballs at a friends..
went comp supply shopping
and then came home..
today was planned as creme brulee day.. so started to make some.. actually quite easy.. 1st batch was pretty good.. except a lil too much sugar on top.. and i think i mite have whisked a lil too much air into the batch.. so air bubbles..
a friend fixed my printer cartridges for me..
finally got to print out my pics and post them up on my walls!!! yeah!!!
watched some movies and tv shows..

decided to finally make the parmasean crusted chicked.. i had been thinking of making it for soooo long.. finally did.. and then i made some herb roasted potatoes.. yum yum.. so good

man i love potatoes.. i prepared like a 2lb bag of potatoes.. i didn't eat it all OF COURSE.. haha

1 1/2 lb are in my fridge.. world biggest lover of potatoes.. Sindy Leung!!!

now.. i'm waiting for my 2nd batch of creme brulee.. hopefully they'll work a lil better this time. sindy out

so my thanksgiving weekend was wicked!! the best ever i swear..
it started with a friday morning train out from windsor at 10 AM.. a long train .. but like always its ok.. had this really adorable baby on the train.. so cute :)

got to union.. father picked me up.. drove me to scar town.. jo picked me up and drove me home.. had a lil catch up with her.. hadn't seen her in like 5 months..

friday nite: went out with some high skewl friends.. Sushi dinner @ Taste of Japan..talk fest at bbtea.. and then just hung out :)





got home around 130 2ish.. and then got a special phone call from one of my much missed bois... so drove out to hang out with him for a while.. got home at like 430 almost 5.. just in time to drive my father to the airport..

came home from airport.. had mickey d's breakfast.. went to blockbuster.. lcbo.. the works.. then napped for a few hours..

saturday nite: lots of events on this one night :)

first.. it started off with thanksgiving dinner @ sam's... man i hadnt been there in sooooo long... i remember i use to be there quite often.. so much fun.. seeing how cathy and rachel are soooo big.. and sam's cousins too.. i remember when one of them was still a baby in the baby carriage kinda thing.. so big and so cute now :)

then after.. went to hang out with some mcbc ppl.. man i missed hanging out with ppl.. i hadn't seen most of these ppl in soo long too

then saturday girls nite in.. me rach sam lydia and jo.. watched some grey's anatomy.. and then watched "crashed".. a really good movie :)
talked a lil.. and watched food TV>> WOOHOO!!!! yeah fellow foodie rachel :P

sunday.. woke up.. drove them back to mcb.. went to breakfast at golden griddle with jess.. hmmm apple crepes.. yummi .. *drools*
nice catching up her..

1130.. lunch.. yum cha with my aunt.. then went to the mall with my aunt.. bought some stuff.. i got a new vest!!! woohoo.. been meaning to get a new on forever.

www.flickr.com

This is a Flickr badge showing photos in a set called thanksgiving weekend 2005. Make your own badge here.

4ish.. went to D's for thanksgiving dinner.. man i miss eating turkey n stuffing.. cranberry sauce.. roasted potatoes.. the works.. miss it greatly..

monday.. woke up at D's.. just chilled around her house till 12ish..went to Jack Astor's for lunch.. man we were both soooo full from the turkey on sunday nite..
went back to her house.. drove her cousin home.. hung out for a while at chapters... and then she drove me to union..

pics

and that was the end of my thanksgiving weekend.. very eventful.. got to catch up with lots of ppl.. i missed that a lot..

and now its back to skewl.. boring ol skewl..

thanks for a great weekend everybody!!!!
muchas gracias por la fin de la semana muy intersante y excelente!!!!!

wow.. and yet i'm surprised again..

ud think that parents usually plan everything way ahead of time.. well apparently my parents don't work that way.. hmm.. ???

so i was suppose to go home for thanksgiving weekend to have thanksgiving dinner with my brother and my dad...

haha.. yesterday nite my mom calls long d from hk and is like your dad's going to hk.. i'm like huH?

my dad apparently is goign to hk for a weekend.. wuts up with that??
he's leaving friday ntie and comin back on monday.. huh?

so i guess that leaves me all alone this weekend.. my brother and i obviously aren't gonna bother to get together for dinner.. im not even sure if he's coming down from ottawa before monday..

i guess this kinda works out.. i was thinking of excuses that i could give my dad in regards to why we couldn't have thanksgiving dinner till sunday..

im getting back friday afternoonish..
and then i'm going DT with some high skewl friends later that nite.. into saturday morning..

and then girls nite in/out with my girly girls on saturday nite...

sunday.. well i guess no thanksgiving dinner for me.. or maybe i should go mooch dinner off my aunt.. hmm thats an idea

leaving monday afternoonish for windsor.. after a yummy brunch with D

on another note.. this is the 5th holiday/important event that i've celebrated with a lack of parents..

1st: christmas 2004.. my parents left to go to some place.. can't remember
2nd: mothers day with no mother.. my mom was in hk
3rd: fathers day with no father.. i was in hk.. he was home
4th: parents anniversary.. me, miranda and mom in hk.. ivan and dad in canada
5th: thanksgiving!!!!!

wuts with all this separation stuff anyway.. from what it seems.. i dont really think we're gonna have "family" holiday celebrations anymore.. i mean.. the last time we did ANYTHING together all 5 of us.. was last summer.. we had a road trip out to the Atlantic Coast with my grandmother..

then miranda left for hk.. so lacking her presence in birthdays, thanksgiving, new years, christmas, the works.

then my mom goes to hk for like all but 2 months of this year so far.. she left in feb around my reading week.. and then came back like 2 weeks ago.. for 2 weeks and she left again..

and now my brother is leaving for hk too.. so it seems that my family is all broken up..

i mean.. i've always thought that stupid family gatherings were annoying and wut not.. but i guess when u no longer have the opportunity to have these sorts of events.. u kinda miss them and feel left out.. i dunno thats just me

You Are Likely a Third Born

At your darkest moments, you feel vulnerable. At work and school, you do best when you're comparing things. When you love someone, you tend to like to please them. In friendship, you are loyal to one person. Your ideal careers are: sales, police officer, newspaper reporter, inventor, poet, and animal trainer. You will leave your mark on the world with inventions, poetry, and inspiration.

The Birth Order Predictor

how true is that??

You Are 50% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Happy Go Lucky Viking. Where You Lived: Peru. How You Died: The Plague.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

this is wut u do when ur incredibly bored.. and sick at home

so i've been awake for a really long time.. over 12 hours.. since 3pm sunday.. i think my sleeping pattern is wacked yet again..

haha.. my room was boiling today too.. might be a factor..

so i basically ended up watching tv shows for like 6 hours.. very sad yes i kno..
and bored.. so took some pics of my room
i was gonna post them up.. but for some stupid reason.. the blogger site wont let me upload them. it says they're done but they're not there.. urgh so mad..

oh wel.. gotta go to class soon :p
then come home take a 3 hour nap.. another class.. and probably gonna end up sleeping all day .. waking up at like 9 or 10 or something.. and then not go to sleep again.. i'm so bad at this

I HAD A VISITOR!!!!!!!!

my very own visitor !!! yeah..


jon wong came to visit..
wednesday
and me, him and kenneth went out to dinner at montanas.. and ewwwwww kenneth ate a lot of food.. it was wednesday's all u can eat ribs.. and he ate like 6 plates of ribs!!! gross




and then after dinner we went driving around. and mad crzy lines at the gas stations.. ppl were freaking out that the gas was gonna rise to like $2 a L or something.. and every gas station we passed by had huge lines.. and the gas weas like $.99 a L .. still rather expensive..

haha.. so we decided to join the line and see what fun it would be.. haha 30 mins later we finally get gas.. hehe


afterwhile drove around some more.. i'm not too good at directions.. sorrie jon..

then drove kenneth home.. and had a good wholesome talk with jon.. thanx for visiting jon.. u made my week :)

man .. what a waste of $19 bucks and 3 hours..
i was called on monday morning.. for a job interview at investors group.. me having sent over 30 something resumes.. thought that it was for this A.Assistant position that i applied for ... so i left my class early today.. and took a bus to this place which is like in some industrial park 1 hr and 20 mins bus ride away... i get there and this stupid guy starts talking to me about financial planning.. and i'm like wut the??? apparently he found my resume on monster.ca and someone decided that i would make a good FP... and so called me.. as flattered as i may be that he thinks i may be good at something.. but he's definetly gotta be joking me?? i'm 20.. not even graduated university.. look like i'm 10.. and he's talking to me about FP?? yeah rite...
45 mins later.. i'm too late to take a bus back to skewl for my next class.. i'm forking out $16 to take a taxi.. FRIGGG>>>>>>

Listening to ?????? - ???

so this weekend was the 30th anniversary of WCBC. big celebration and wut not.. never excpected to see ppl that i kno come down from MCBC.. so there was this dinner thing yesterday ntie.. i was thinking hmmm.. free food and get to see a friend of mine who's now at guelph.. sure wut not..

go.. and who do i see?? haha.. auntie gloria, uncle edward, justin & ellena.. haha.. and this other uncle and auntie from mcbc with their son samuel.. who i taught in children's choir so many years ago.. haha..

so it was interesting to see how 30 years .. ppl change and building changes and wut not..
and the best part.. haha.. seeing the choir dance funni.. haha.. man.. alice is great.. so energetic..

and then this morning. church.. sermon.. haha.. churches are so completly connected.. haha

TCBC is the mother church of WCBC but is also the grandmother church of MCBC
TCBC-SCBC-WCBC

ahah.. and then went to lunch with the tsang family and other family from wcbc that they know and some i kno.. so interesting weekend..

and then i'm gonan get another visitor on tuesday!!! yeah.. i luv visitors..

*hint hint*
haha

I'm a M3 now.. haha.. whats a M3 u say???
that means

Multicultural Studies, Modern Languages, Major

haha.. with spanish as my language option.. kewl eh??

its 11:30pm and i'm still bumming round the library cuz there'es nothing to do at home..i have no classes tommorow..

i'm taking 2 religion course, 1 history course, and 2 language courses

Religion & Culture
Politics, History & Religion
Culture & Civilization of Spain
Spanish
Universals of Language

so basically monday to thursday.. i have 2-3 classes each day with like 2 hour breaks..and then friday n saturday working.. rite now i'm still working.. i think i mite have found one.. basically its calling random ppl.. introducing them to these membership based travel agency.. i'd be like a surveyor.. asking them questions..haha one of those annoying ppl who call u just as ur leaving ur house.. dun hang up on them..cuz for all u kno.. it could be me.. haha

its late..gotta get home

sindy

so officially started skewl.. and heres my schedule.. its pretty good.. i hafta admit.

Monday:
Universals of Language from 230-4

Tuesday:
Early British Literature from 10-1120
Culture & civilization of Spain from 1130 till 1
Religion and Culture from 4 till 7

Wednesday:
same as monday

Thursday:
Early British Literature from 10-1120
Culture & civilization of Spain from 1130 till 1

im' trying to get registerered into Spanish for Bgginers which is on Mondays.. but duno yet.. haha.. technically i shouldn't be in that class anyway.. its for ppl who have no knowldge of spanish. whcih .. i dun qualify for.. i took gr.10&11 spanish in high skewl but i kinda forgot it all.. but still shouldn't be taking that course.. oh well.. it will be easy then.. and then good marks.. sweetness!!! haha

and if i can't get into that course.. i'm prolly gonna take some other course.. maybe effective writing?? or maybe fundaments of music.. haha.. thats like an intro course for non-music majors. lets learn about scales and intervals.. wee.. hmm maybe i should just take that?? but i'm assuming palmer who teaches that course.. and is also one of my old music profs.. definetly would not approve. haha

and if u all dunt already kno.. i'm not a music therapy major rite now.. my marx.. lets just say were shitty and had to switch majors.. so rite now i'm a B.English & Creative Writing major.. which is alrite i guess.. i dunno.. i randomly picked a major.

i'm highly considering Modern Languages/History/Music.. my courses rite now are pretty kewl.. i'm actually waking up to go to them.. and actually doing the reading.. which would be a first in all my 3 years at uni.. haha. its still early to decide what i actually wanna continue doing.. but for now all i can say is:

i'm actually going to class.. I'm not falling asleep.. i'm actually reading my text and doing notes.. thats pretty good.. for me at least :P

and on another happy note.. i can now finally sleep.. i had the hardest time falling sleep for the last 1 1/2 yr.. but now its much better.. i've been in bed everynight since i got bck frm hk by like 11pm.. and woken up.. sans alarm clock like 8ish 9ish.. before my alarm clock rings.. automatically.. surprise surprise!


all that having been said.. i do think that my decision to come back to windsor and finish a degree.. was a good one..
not to say that i dun still wanna do culinary.. and be a chef or what not.. but it does make a whole lot more sense to have a back up plan inregardless ofhow hard it may be.. in comparision.. a university degree will prolly be easier to obtain than say.. dealing with life as unemployed citizen.. get my drift??

plus++++ who's to say that i would defintly be good at culinary anyway?? who's to say i'd actually graduate and get a job?? thats hard to tell.. i dun kno if i would be amazing at it.

so for now.. i'm gonna be in windsor.. finishing off a degree.. and maybe if my marks are good.. maybe even considering transfering to another skewl maybe?? i'm thinking states?? i wanna go to a really really small university somewhere in the states.. i have a feeling i would definetly benefit from that sortof environment.. no big skewls for me..

aah enough venting and talking.. gotta go home and cook yum yum.. me hungry.. and then read & notes.. and bum at home..

home is very boring now.. no computer.. no tv.. no internet.. boo urns..
i'm hoping to buying a used tv.. we'll see how that goes..

lates :P

so i'm back in windsor.. and me being the one that always has bad luck.. i'm stuck here with a defective computer that wont turn on.. so no music.. no movies.. no
nothing for me.. :( boo urns.. im gonna be so incredibly bored..

so skewl starts tommorow.. got two classes tommorow.. one at 1:30 and the other at 2:30 .. spanish and then universals of language

la di la.. so yeah.. give me a call ppl if u guys are bored.. cuz i definetly will.. and i miss ppl already.. sinc ei haven't seen most of u in like 4 months :'(
would luv to hear from ya

I"M BACK BABY!!!!!!

but sadly .. leaving for windsor on the sunday morning.. haha.. so yeah

just got home from 14 hour flight from hk to vanc.. then 4 hr flight from vanc to toronto.. dead tired.. blog later!

tim n gendi n cy.. if u are reading.. please please email me so i can arrange a time to give u guys ur stff!!

adopt your own virtual pet!

Au Revoir Hong Kong!



thanx for a fun 3 months and 17 days..
thanx for lots of fun friends..
lots of good people
lots of good bars and clubs
really good cuisine
really good nite life
really cheap clothes n stuff
lots of really good sales

i'll be back.. i promise.. really soon at that too..

in less than 8 months.. i will step foot into chep lap kok international airport.. its soon.. wait for me!!!! i'll miss you :(



im out.. in less than 5 hours.. i'm boarding a plane for t.o

quite an eventful friday..

woke up around 10ish... hung out at hung.. ate some food.. watched some tv..
left the house around 1130.. went to mongkok. got there round 1200.. went to bank.. then went to my friend francis's store to buy some guns n stuff.. 1 hour later.. walked out with 3 guns, and a bag of BB's.. went to argyle center.. bought some earrings and this really strawberry top.. haha.
went to sin tat to check out cell phones.. not one that i realy wanted.. well there was but too too expensive.. $3000 HK.. about $500 CAD!!!

walked around mong kok looking for stuff. suddently decided i'm going to get a 6th piercing.. so walked into some plaza.. and got it done.. i remembered the store cuz i went with my brother to buy earrings there last year..

bought 2 ties for myself.. one silver and one pink.. i luv wearing ties.. buti could never find a tie i wanted.

and then around 3ish. went to get my hair done.. was gonna get it done bright red highlights. but then stupid me .. had dyed my hair black about 1 month before coming back to hk.. and forgot to tell my my mom's cousins husband.. who owns the hair salon.. 1 hr after all the tin foil and bleach.. we realize.. um.. how come its not really red?? he asks me?? did u previously dye it black or blue?? i'm like uh.. yeah..
oh thats y.. aparently if u dye it black.. its hard to dye on type. so rite now my hair is kinda orangey.. but a ncie orangey.. and its only the top layers that u can see colours.. there's absolutely no colour for the bottom.. oh well.. too bad for me.. it stil looks kinda nice.. i think.. it was one hell of a cheap haircut/hair dye job.. for like less than $40 CAD haha.. man i luv relations

went about around 6ish..
chilled at home.. watched some tv.. n stuff

went to K with my sister around 930ish.. and got home about 15 mins ago.. which is like 4 hours later.. haha.. i luv K..

so lots done today..

tmmorow.. is shopping for necessity day with my mom.. then packing up all my crap. haha.. i got loads of it.. and then family dinner @ some jap restaurant with my granni, uncle, aunt, and hillman

sunday.. i promised my two lil cousins i'd take them ice skating once this summer.. and i kinda went with them but i just watched.. so i gotta wake up early.. take them to their skating lesson. and skate with them a lil .. then yum cha with my grandparents. moms side.. and then just chilling with my lil cousins.. then family dinner at my granparents house.. big gathering thing.. evry family has to go.. my grandma just got out of hospital and wants to see everybody.. plus i'm leaving so big din din.. and then i think my cousins.. the older ones that is.. and i are gonna go for drinks after.. dinner usually ends at like 8.. haha.. my grandparents are in bed by like 930

monday... more packing.. visiting the peak again with my mom.. this time to take pics of sunset at the peak.. and going to visit some old childhood places.. n going to visit the DISNEY line on the MTR>. haha. i wanna be a tourist..

tuesday.. wake up n early..9ish go to hongkong station..by 10ish drop off all my crap at the air canada counter.. have brunch around central with my mom.. and then go back to hong kong station to take airport express.. gotta be at airport by 1200.. my plane leaves at 130.. i'd rather wait at the airport than miss my plane... and that will be the end of my summer.. boo urns..

so dessert buffet was fun.. loads n loads of desserts.. both western n chinese.. lots of cakes... fruits... chocolate fountains.. cheese n crackers.. crepes.. waffles.. puddings and custards.. yum yum






wanted to take more pics. one of like every type of dessert.. but wasnt allowed to take pictures of their actual buffet.. only allowed to take pictures of my table n the food in my plate.. boo hoo.. oh well.. it was definetly fun.. and i will definetly go back next time around..

so i'm almost home.. soon.. about 4 days left.. cant wait to be home

Countdown!!!!

3 days till no more work..
4 days till the highly anticipated Dessert Buffet @ Grand Hyatt with my AW buds.. yeah.. last outing b4 i leave
5 days till Mother-Daughters Trip.. being all touristy and visiting Peak again.. Ocean Park.. the whole works
8 days till I leave HK for Home..

man i miss home.. i miss the ppl.. i miss my own room.. i miss driving.. i miss the food.. i miss the AIR!!! the clean clean air..


my trip so far has been lots of fun.. lots of hanging out with friends.. met a lot of new friends..

been good.. sad its over.. but at the same time.. i really miss home.. i miss everything..

tonite was a good day.. last day of working 9-645...then went to mong kok with becky... looked at some wallets for tim & gendi.. bought a shirt for jer.. its kinda funny looking.. got some more stuff for myself.. i still have a lot of shopping to do. clothes. bags.. SHOES especially!!! then pack pack pack.. man i hate packing.. especially when i have too much stuff and can't fit it all.. hahaha

im so excited for dessert buffet..u kno me and how i luv to eat desserts & demetres.. imagine demetres.. and all u can eat.. plus amazing view.. check it out

Grand Hyatt Tiffin Lounge

me n like 15 other ppl are going.. gonna be loads of fun.. i'm gonna take lots of pics..

anyhow.. im out.. 2 am.. just got home from friends bday party in CWBay..

so this week .. despite the horrible weather and the me still not feeling 100%.. has actually been pretty good. main thing for that is the netvigator love music concert.. it was awesome.. best concert i've seen in ages..

see link

cousin works in marketing @ netvigator.. so she got me some pretty awesome seats.. like 14th row..


there were some pretty wicked artists there.. EASON.. C.Hing... at17... Josie Ho.. Soler.. and special guest.. GEORGE LAM!!! OMG!!!!!!

i took 256MB of pics and video.. and for some really screwed up reason.. the pics all turned out really blurred except for the occasional few.. even so i'm so keeping.. and mad vids.. haha..

heres one of the pics that turned out somewhat ok



worked for a few hours today.. and then working from 9 till 430 saturday.. going to go out with g boi n friends..

sunday.. junk boat trip with the cuzs..its one of my cuz bday.. so we're celebrating her bday.. gonna be loads of fun..

so this has been the shittiest week i have had in a really long time..
i have brochial allergies and strep at the same time..

but on a brighter side..

Thursday!!! EASON concert!! wee.. Netvigator is hosting a concert for broadband users... and you have to like redeem points n stuff to get tix..but my cous works at netvigator.. so she got free tix.. and i'm going !!! man thats so great!!!

and Sept 18.. LEO KU concert.. man.. it will be awesome.. Casino Rama here i come..

so for 4 days.. i had what was basically strep throat.. except chinese doctors don't seem to kno what that is.. so it was called "upper respiratory tract infection".. and the stupid doc gave me meds that didn't seem to work too well... so i got a lil better and now its worse again.. so now i'm at home.. with brochial allergy and strep together.. man my throat and my lungs killl!!!!! it hurts even to swallow.. and i have no voice wutsover.. i've missed 3 days of work.. and i will miss 2 more.. damnit.. urgh.. i hate hong kong air.. its so nasty.. its whats making me sick.. well one of the more important factors at least...

i miss my fresh canadian air.. i miss all my trees.. :(

oh another thing.. i'm coming home soon.. well not really.. but sept 6th.. and if there is anything anybody wants .. email me... i'll have some time to do major damage in mong kok n stuff from sept 1 till sept 5.. so yeah.. mail me if u need something

so after 4 days of not being able to talk.. i'm now stuck with a throat and a lung that wont stop hurting.. i'm coughin 24/7 and my throat still hurts..
docs in hk sux ass.. they can't even give me meds that work.. darn it.. urgh

so i've been stuck in bed for the last two days with strep throat.. and the shitty part is i can't even fall asleep.. cuz it hurts so damn much.. urgh!!!

so its been a long 4 days.. waking up every morning at 630am.. and then working

monday & wednesday & friday: classes at mary knoll for 4 hours... first class 19 kids, second 11, third 7, and fourth class 23 from grades 2-5.. then i have work at the learning center from 2:30 till 645.. teaching phonics to little kids age 3 to 8

tuesday & thursday: at the learning centre.. classes stark at 9.. teaching phonics for 3 hours.. lunch.. teaching writing & grammar and then more phonics till 645pm

saturday: bible class starts at 9.. then english & music for 3 hours.. then phonics, writing, grammar for another 6 hours.. ending at 645pm..

how much work is that?? tho i'm really not enjoying the incredibly longdays.. but its been fun so far.. the kids are so cute.. :P i'll post pics of them later..

surprise surprise... sindy is awake and out of the house at 7:52AM!!!!!!

she awoke at 6:30am and took a shower.. and was able to leave the house prior to 7:00am where she diligently slept on the MTR all the way from Tai Koo to Kowloon Tong.

surprised??? haha.. and i woke up by myself too!!

man i'm gonna hate saturdays!!! i gotta work on saturdays from 830AM till round 430.. the stupid thing is.. i live like an hour (at least.. depending on traffic) from work.. so i gotta wake up so early.. urgh .. totally not gonna enjoy it..

on the other hand.. tonite i get to hear the Pearl Delta Chamber Soloists in concert.. itd be a good way to end a very tiring saturday.. anyhow.. i gotta go now.. gotta take the mini green bus up to work...

later

its amazing how a short 5 days can totally change one's life....

in the 5 days.. i managed to get a total new output on my life.. what i feel about my life.. what my purpose in life is.. what i've always done wrong.. why i always felt so miserable.

i NOW KNOW what i need to do in order to make my life more meaningful..

i'll explain later.. right now i'm so dead tired from crying so much.. never in my life have i cried so much in the span of one day.. and tho i hate to admit i cry.. every tear that was shed.. was worth it.. so incredibly worth it!

man this weekend has been and will continue to be awesome!!!!

friday: happy SARS day.. not the sick SARS.. but u kno.

hong kong SPECIAL ADMINISTRATIVE REGION

anyhow.. so july 1st.. no one has to work or go to skewl.. so i went out to lunch with my grandmother, aunt janny, uncle philip and my cousin sky.. my other cousin ken had to go sailing..

so anyhow.. after lunch.. we hung out at my grandma's for a while and played with my other cousin hillman..

and then around 3ish.. me and sky left to go to mong kok.. i was meeting up with my ex-aunt... and we walked around new century plaza and bought some stuff.. then we went to this new shopping mall called langham place.. that place is huge.. and has some pretty good stores.. but stuff is a lil pricey.. anyhow.. so we had dinner there @ some cafe called "Suzuki Tokyo Cafe".. and basically that cafe is like a NEO-Japanese and Italian place.. its pretty good.. my cousin, me and my ex-aunt order some pasta.. man one of them was soooo good.. i kinda regret not taking my cam out that day.. it was like a wasabi sauce pasta... it kinda sounds gross.. but man it was good.. and then afterward... we took my cousin to the bus station so he could go home.. and then me and my ex aunt went out for some drinks.. gotta hang out a bit.. talk about some stuff... its so easy to talk to her. shes a social worker..

saturday: didn't do that much for the morning.. or afternoon.. woke up at like 12ish.. went to run some errands for my mom.. and then waited at home while ppl came to deliver stuff to the house... then around 10ish.. me my sister and her bf stephen went to go grab some food.. then we went to watch "war of the worlds" @ UA tai koo shing.. man .. i gotta say.. war of the worlds.. aka wotf.. scared the SHIT outta me.. its a pretty good movie.. but i dun really get the ending.. not to spoil the movie or anything.. the ending.. huh?? organisms ?? WUT?? how the hell does earth's miniscule organisms kill aliens driving robots?? wut?? anyhow.. the grossest thing about the whole movie is the sucking brain thing.. GROSS!!! then afterwards. we went down to Lan Kwai Fong for some drinks.. and so hence i'm writing this at 4AM.. haha

Sunday: gotta go have weekly yum cha with my aunts and uncle and grandparents @ Polytech .. then not much for the rest of the afternoon.. but man the nite is gonna be good.. my cousin's bf.. for some reason has some tix for some charity concert thats going on in wan chai tommorow nite.. well actually tonite.. and the commitee for it managed to snag some pretty good singers..
andy hui.. edmund leung.. so wing hong.. and some china singers.. dun really kno them that well tho.. anyho.. i'm just going for edmund leung.. he's a pretty good singer.. like one of those who can actually sing .. and also writes a lot of his own music.. yeah yeah.. so anyhow.. he(cuz's bf) managed to get 7 tix altogether.. so i'm going with my friend Gordon and 5 of his friends.. yeah how sad is that?? i have no friends..

and then Monday: i officially start work @ my jobs..
i'm working at mary knoll fathers catholic elementary skewl.. something along those lines.. in kownloon tong...my lil cousin goes to skewl there.. my parents, aunts, uncle use to go there.. and my uncle (cousin's father) is on the PTA or something.. so i managed to get a job there teaching their 2wk english playgroup. and my friend felicity from windsor is gonna be teaching there with me too...

i'm also working at some centre in kowloon tong.. when i'm not working at maryknolls i'm working there.. which is like basically Mon, Wed, Fri from 1 til 645 and tues, thurs, sat from 9-645... its gonna be some really longs days!!!!

gonna be some completely tired.. but definetly gonna be worth it.. im so NOT gonna be broke afterwards.. haha

4am.. gotta wake up tommorow at like 11.. need sleep..

sindy out

Time bought - June 29, 2005 5: 47pm
Place of purchase - Page ONE inside Times Square, Causeway Bay, Hong Kong
Time of official start - June 29, 2005 5: 53pm
Time of official end - June 30, 2005 6:37pm
Place where last page was read - inside KCR train #18 en route to Hung Hom... somewhere b/w Kowloon Tong and Mong Kok

BEST 24 HRS EVER SPENT ON A BOOK!!!!!! BEST $76 HK EVER SPENT!!!!

i'm officially done!! yeah... i've never been so completely interested in a book ever!!!!!

rite after i finished it.. i went to commercial press @ new town plaza in sha tin.. and anxiously looked around for "breaking the da vinci code"...they were all out.. NO!!
so i rushed to Page ONE again.. hoping to get perhaps find it there... page ONe is bigger and wut not.. and i'm so disappointed.. they didn't have it either.... apparently.. that book is completely sold out in hong kong.. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

now i have to order it off the internet.. boo urns...

so many many questions left unanswered. this book definetly makes u wonder.. question a lot of things that i've learn to accept.. certain ideas.. certain theories.. i never questioned it really b4..

i mean.. the book is still fiction.. but fiction.. based on truth and evidence. makes u really wonder what u can believe nowadays...

sindy out

*eagerly and anxiously awaiting the arrival of "breaking the da vinci code"

next(current conquest) - Dan Brown's "Angels & Demons".... its supposedly pretty good too.. i'm enjoying the whole cryptography thing.. hmmm..

no working television.. lack of friends.. no $$.. no where to go
and where does that bring you??
for me..

i ended up reading..
YES .. u read rite!!! READING!!! for those who know me.. i am definetly not ur reading type.. i use to be.. but i gave it up .. and ive picked it up once again.. and i most definetly picked the rite book for it...

DA VINCI CODE!!!!!! simply amazing.. tho there are a lot of things i dun quite understand.. but its so intriguing..

last nite i found myself still reading into chapter 40 at 3AM!!!! me being awake so early in the morning for a book.. hasn't happened in a LONG LONG time..


i cant wait to finish it..

on the same topic... some of the issues it brings up in the book.. makes me really wonder about the whole christianity thing.. according to the book.. in simpler words.. a lot of the things that christianity believes in and traditions that it follows.. are questionable.. lets say.. i dunno if the things said in the book are true or wut not.. but

definetly intriguing
i will have more to say once i've finished reading it.. and bought and read "breaking the Da Vinci Code"



sindy out

as of the moment... new fav summer movie ever..

Mr. & Mrs. Smith


"you still alive baby"

for those who havent seen it.. its definetly worth ur 12 bucks

Your #1 Match: ENFJ

The Giver You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed. Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections. Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down. You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine. You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

Your #2 Match: ENFP

The Inspirer You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends. You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules. Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives. You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller! You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

Your #3 Match: INFJ

The Protector You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity. Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is. You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience. You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them. You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.

What's Your Personality Type?

anybody want to buy me this??? i want it so badly.. and NOT just cuz its JAY Chou Endorsed.. i need to a mp3 player to!!!!

J III Mp3 Player

looking at everybodys blogs.. i've missed out on so much since coming back to hk..
softball games.. rugby games.. ppl getting married.. ppl hooking up.. breaking up..
i'm so totally clueless now...

thats one of the things i hate about being away during the summers..

but on the other hand.. i luv being away for the summers as well.. somestime its just nice to get away from everything..

its nice coming back to see ppl i dunt normally get to see. like my cousins.. and its nice just getting to hang out with them.. which i've done a lot since coming back..

gone skating with them.. gone to Jungle Gym USA.. went out to lunch and stuff with them.. had a lil jam session with ginnie & erik.. haha.. that was mad fun..

and i cant wait till sunday...

combine my two most favourite things and u get this sunday

1) kids
2) food

haha.. this sunday is fathers day and so its a big family gathering thing.. and so.. all of my "ng" uncles and aunts are going over to my grandfathers.. and we're having a big feast.. haha.. and me n my 2 lil cousins are gonna bake a cake.. haha.. can't wait to see the mess that they end up with.. so gonna be a kodak moment..

and then dinner.. all the "leung" uncles and aunts.. are going over to my grandma's ... and we're gonna have another big feast.. haha.. my family is HUGE on eating.. haha.. i'm in charge of making desserts and i can't wait.. since my other lil cousin is gonna help me.. and thats gonna be interesting...haha

hmm.. coconut pudding.. chocolate cake.. mango pudding.. hmmm.. MOCHI!!!! yum yum


anyhow..

i miss all u ppl back in to .. i miss being a part of all the commotion... :(
hope ur all having fun in to.. and being safe...

don't do anything stupid ppl!

i swear.. moving and renovating is such a pain in the ass.. unbelievably annoying....

especially in hk.. man.. i use to think that the ppl in canada were slow and careless... apparently not...

so the rents bought a new apt in hk for my sis and my granny and when the rest of my family goes back to visit n stuff.. so we had to renovate the whole appt.. new furniture and new walls, doors, kitchen, all that stuf..

1) we ordered new beds, and desks and cabinets.. made to order.. n wut not... they deliver it finally.. after being like 10 days late.. and then we checked the goods rite.. and 2 of the desks are so scratched and screwed up beyond belief.. so we have to send them back. and the ppl are like.. u gotta pay extra for us to ship the goods back to china and then back to hk again.. and we're like WTH? its their fault to begin with.. and now we hafta wait like another 10 days till we can get the desks.. and aside from the two desks.. one of the closets doors had a big crak in the wood so they had to take tat back as well.. but then the stupid ppl killed the side of the wall when they were assembling it.. now one of the rooms has 3 huge like 6 inch scratches in the new paint.. urhg!!!

2) who the hell delivers an appliance and says oh yeah.. if u want the manual.. ull have to contact our headquarters n ask for one. wth? its suppose to come with a damn manual to begin with!!!

3) our sofa company is screwed up.. they were suppose to deliver it today!!! so i sat in the house by myself with no AC in scorching 32+ degrees waiting for it.. and they never came.. and so i called them.. and they're like.. uh.. we dun deliver on saturdays.. FRIG!!!!!!

so 3 weeks in hong kong.. and surprisingly enough.. i haven't spent that much $$$$

reason 1) i dun have that money on me to begin with
reason 2) spent almost every day either furniture/appliance shopping wiht my mom for new house.. or over at my uncles playing with my cousins
reason 3) its not quite sale season in hk yet.. i'm attempting to save up and not spend till later on in summer so i can get more for less..

as of rite now.. 2 jobs.. but they both don't start till later in july.. so i'm bored now.. if anybody needs anything .. holla i have all the time in the world to go buy stuff..

on the other hand i feel like i'm missing uot so much on all the stuff that is going on in T.O ... ppl's weddings, softball. hangng out with friends... etc...

if anybody is ever bored and wants to fill me in.. by all means... lastly


Get better Tim!!!

saw ur arm on ur blog.. write... sindy hopes u feel better on it ok??

hk... geez its hot here... its been less than 2 days and my god.. i've sweated like a pig numerous times.. aaah!!! but so far.. hk has been not bad.. haven't done an shopping or anything yet.. still dealing with jet lag.. dunt start work till later .. like in june.. so more days of boring nothing to do days...... so yeah.. if bored.. feel free to dro me a line

out

sometimes i seriously wonder if life is worth living.. i mean .. all the pain and sorrow .. all the obstacles that we have to face.. problems after problem..
its not like life ever gets better to the state of being conflict free.. so then what exactly am i living for?

nothing

i have nothing to look forward.. no goal in life..
nothing to work hard for.. and everytime i try to work for something.. it never works out.. everything just come tumbling down..

nothing ever goes rite for me.. i can't remember the last time that things ever went smoothly for me.. i dunt think ever.

i kno that you're not suppose to give up.. and you're suppose to look on the bright side. all those stupid sayings.. tommorow's a new day.. things will get better.. its all completely bullshit..

the only ppl who say that are those who have everything.. life has worked out perfectly for them..

what about those who life didn't work out perfectly? what are they suppose to do?

i'm at the end of my string.. what can i do

aah.. been home for a good 3 weeks now.. its been a good 3 weeks i'd say.. a rather bother but good 3 weeks.. i've caught up on all my sleep.. :P which is good.. and i've gotten to hang out with some ppl while i've been home :)

13 days till hk.. and in that time being.. i have a load of stuff to do..

BIGGEST THING- convince my dad about culinary
if convincable.. then gotta figure out some apps stuff.
-shop for work clothes
-shop for gifts for my lil cousins
-softball/basketball/ some sort of exercise
-finish shopping for grad gifts
- get my passport back
-unpack all my stuff from uni..
-pack all my clothes & stuff for hk..

but b4 all that.. i'm really excited for the next two weeks.... lots of fun stuff planned

-tiffs coming home!!! yeah.. girls night out!! jazz club ... desserts & drinks!!! weeee
-bbq!!!!! woohoo i luv bbq!!!!haha
-jam sessions with the maestro.. haha.. when u coming home btw?

so yeah.. i'll miss everybody while i'm in hk.. i guarantee that..

man.. i never really realized that i missed a lot of things.. well not just things.. events.. places.. people.. sitting here in windsor at 7am on a friday morning.. not having yet gone to bed since thursday at 4pm.. anyhow.. beside the point.. i miss a lot of things...

i miss high skewl.. i kinda somewhat miss going to class.. well at least my high skewl classes..the small classes.. the close knit environment.. all my friends .. the teachers.. sadly i even miss my old school uniform..the old ugly blazer, tie and kilt.. i guess i kinda miss the organization of high skewl.. how everything was so planned out..i miss going to all my classes, then out to lunch with the girls.. and skipping classes.. and going back to skewl just for pratices.. i can't even really remember what my high skewl band and choir pratices were like anymore.. but i guess the thing i miss most of all about high skewl would be being on the basketball and softball teams.. i remember on a beautiful sunny day in april.. i'd be outside in the back field with all my girly girls.. batting it up..doing some good ol'catching and pitchin.. man i really do miss it all.. aaawww.. basketball.. i miss that a lot too.. not just the sport but the whole being on a team environment thing.. i mean.. i miss all the girls.. some of them i'd played with them the whole 4 years.. and one of them for 6 years.. since elementary skewl.. back then.. i guess i just miss getting to play my game with them.. i mean i haven't played softball or basketball in a really long time.. :(


i miss home.. technically i'd only been away from home less than a month.. but the last time i was back.. it wasn't really home.. i miss having my whole family at home.. i miss having a good family dinner.. the last we had a full family dinner.. was in the summer.. when my mom, dad, miranda, ivan and i deleberately set a day aside to go have dinner in hk. i mean we were all so consumed with work and play and wut not.. and since then we haven't had one.. mainly cuz miranda's been in hk ever since and hasn't come back yet..
this year has been so different.. my mom's been gone for most of the past 8 months.. she came back from hk.. then hthe states..then vancouver.. then ottawa.. then panama.. and now hk again.. and without my mom around.. my brother and i dun have much a motivation to go back home to newmarket much.. so even just the 4 of us minus my sister.. we haven't had a family dinner since .. i dun even kno if we had one.. i miss having the whole family around.. i miss living at home with the whole family.. back then.. our house will be really loud.. me n the siblings fighting all the time.. fighting over ever lil possible thing.. whether it be the computer.. or the tv.. or the phone or even just to complain to my mom about each other.. its definetly different now..


i miss a lot of things..

feli & i
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wynne, faith , and I
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eunice & i
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english group pic
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and cutesy wei wei too..
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and lil wynonna too
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im gonna miss lil ethan.. so cute :)
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the chinese bois
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ryan & i.. jeff in the background
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steve & i.. haha
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dorothy & i
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danit & i
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tonite was the grad dinner for Timothy fellowship @ wcbc..we had a nice dress up dinner for all the grads.. and tho i wasn't graduating.. they included me in the list.. cuz well i'm leaving windsor.. and it was really nice..and lots of fun.. haha.. mad picture fest.. everyone took so many pics.. and it was nice seeing almost everybody get dressed up.. cuz normally we're all like sweat pants and flip flops.. hehe :P

kinda made me realize.. that my time here in windsor is soon to be over.. im leaving on i believe the 24th .. and im gonna miss all my friends here.. :( i've gotten to kno some of them quite well and its kinda sad to be leaving..

i dunno when i will see them nxt.. the fellowship is having a retreat in toronto sometime in june/july.. but then i'm not here.. and by the time i get back from hk.. they'll all be in skewl.. and i dun kno if ill have the time to come down and visit..

im gonna miss certain things in windsor.. skewl most def not.. but ppl yeah.. :P

so i've been dealing with a dilemna for the last lil while.. and things are so complicating..
i mean.. i thought i knew exactly what was going on.. in regards to where i was going and what i was going to study and wut not next year..

but as things seem now.. i have no idea.. well i kno where it is i wanna go and wut i wanna do.. but things dun seem to be going too smoothly for me.. main thing being..theres a very big hurdle in front of me.. and im at a stump as to what i should do.. theres basically 2 options

1) do what others are telling me... i dun piss anybody off or hurt anybody's feelings but then i kinda end up hurting my own feelings.. forcing myself to do something i dun really wanna do

2) do what it is I kno i want to do.. but resulting in people's disappointments, anger, confusion, pissed off.. and the list goes on.. i mean im not the kinda person to seriously want to do something that will hurt other ppl's feelings..

now what the hell am i suppose to do? i dun wanna be selfish and just do what i want to do.. but then at the same time.. i kinda realized that i'm at this stump because i didnt really voice my opinions back in the day..

to be honest i've never really been someone to want to go against everybody or in another words.. im kinda a follower.. have always been tho sometimes i dunt act it.. i hate being alone.. not being in a group.. i've always kinda rather be a silent member of a group than being the very active leader of the group..

and i find that often because of that i get myself into situations that i dun necessarily enjoy and miss out on the things that i do..

during the last year of high skewl.. just like any other graduating high skewl student.. i contemplated on my life.. what was i to do after graduation.. what did i want my career to be.. etc.. all those questions.. unlike some ppl.. the answers weren't clear to me at all.. i honestly didn't really know..

i mean.. academically wise.. i never was all that bright.. i mean i had alrite grades.. but i wasnt smart or anything.. i wasnt all that good at math and sciences... i worked my ass off in those classes and hated every moment of it.. i was obviously not gonna be some mad scientist or mathematician or something like.. i enjoyed my language classes but learning too many languages confuse me.. so no English or Spanish or wutever language major.. i wasn't too good at remembering dates and #s.. absolutely SUXED at geography.. so no history major/geography/classics/politics.. etc..

basically it came down to the one thing academically i was good at in skewl.. music.. i pretty much didn't have that many options when looking for programs at skewl.. music.. and music related..
and i thought
man i would sux as a music teacher..
i dun think i would survive being a performer
music history?? sux at memorizing #'s and dates and wut not..
music therapy? i guess thats kinda works.. using music to help ppl.. sounds kinda fun.. i guess i could that..


at the same time.. i had always loved to make food.. specifically desserts.. i have always loved to eat and make them.. i had done my fair share on research in regards to entering the culinary arts.. and it seemed kinda kewl..

when presenting the options to my parents.. basically.. the typical chinese response.. be a engineer or a lawyer or an accountant or something.. something belonging to the "si" class.. and since both of my choices didn't belong in that class.. the response well wasnt too positive.... but one thing was clear. music therapy was definetly according to them a better choice than culinary especially for a girl..

and i mean tlaking to other ppl about me n music therapy.. everybody seemed so keen on me doing it.. they all thought that it suited me well.. and me being so easily coerced.. i just went along with it..

i let the decision of what to do for the rest of my life lie in the hands of others.. im not blaming my parents or friends or whoever for this.. i blame myself.. i didn't say what i needed to say or do what i needed to do.. because of my somewhat shy nature, afraidness of being singled out.. my easily pressured self.. i ended being where i am now...at a stump..

and now once again the question of me or other ppl comes up again.. my decision??? their decision??

what i want?? what they want??

the answer seems easy to make.. textbook answer: do what please yourself.. but life is always so much more complicating.. if only life were easy.. doing what i want hurts the ppl around me.. doing what they want means doing something i dun think i wanna do..

i dun kno what i do.. i sometimes just wish life were simple.. and the right answers were always so evident.. right in front of us.. but lifes not like that.. it never is..

i dun really even kno why i'm bloggin about this.. i guess its kinda be itchin to be said.. i mean its been bothering for a long time.. and i find that sometimes just letting it all get out in the open helps to make me feel better..

Confuzzled Sindy leaves her note

tagboard is up.. feel free to leave me a message :)

It bothers me that people always assume that whatever I plan on doing, I'm not being serious about.
It bothers me that people treat me as if I was a child.
It bothers me that people don't take me seriously.
It bothers me that just about everybody is against whatever it is I have to do, or want to do.

I mean.. is it really that hard to take me seriously??
Why is it that everybody thinks i'm stupid or something.. i do have the ability to think about the things i choose to do.. i have the ability to make my own decisions..

for once in my life.. i feel really really strongly about something and everyone just blows me off.. its my life and its my decision.. please for once just respect that its what i want to do.. respect my decision.. and STOP telling me its wrong.. STOP saying that you're right and I'm wrong.. cuz u kno wut.. U DON"T KNOW THAT.. no one can ever really say that they're always rite..

URGH

i really need to get this off my chest..


OMG!!! i really need to learn how to drive.. i really need to pay more attention to the things around me while i'm driving.. and most of all.. I NEED TO LOOK AT MY MIRRORS more often..
geez.. before i hit something again!!!

i hit someone's car today.. i had one of two choices:

1) hit and run
2) leave a note and tell them

and u kno wut.. #1 was really so tempting.. i really wanted to.. i mean.. if i had just left and not said anything.. i wouldn't have to pay for the big dent in his car.. OMG

but after some contemplation.. i decided to leave a note.. and i left.. and after i left.. i kept on thinking.. hmm maybe i should go and get that note back.. i really dun wanna pay.. and i really dun have the $ to pay.. and idun want my insurance and wut not to go up..

but i ended up going home.. and the guy emailed me.. and we have to talk about his dent.. geez.. of all cars to decide to dent.. i dented a friggin RSX.. and its huge friggin dent!!!!! HUGE i tell you.. a dent that will take at least a good $200-300 to get fixed.. at least!!!

but the thing that bugs me the most of all about this.. is i really wanted to just hit and run.. i mean i could have easily done it..

i mean.. i'd always thought of myself as someone who wouldn't do something like that.. or even think of doing it.. i mean.. being the person i am.. having being brought up the way i have.. i would have never actually thought i'd consider it.. and even consider going back to get the note.. OMG.. seriously.. sometimes i surprise myself.. and not necessarily in a good way..

urgh.. now i definetly need to find a job .. to pay off that guy.. i dun even kno how much exactly that stupidity of mine is gonna cost..


frig.. i am so stupid sometimes.. i do the stupidest things sometimes.. man .. i seriously think that i should lock myself in a room sometimes.. to keep me from doing the incredibly stupid thigns that i do.. URGh

haha.. tonite just made me realize how stupid and blonde i can be sometimes..

i spent my last friday nite in toronto with some friends.. eating jap food @ taste of japan and watching constantine @ colossus

normally.. eating jap food with friends doesn't make me look like an idiot..but i went with some of my high skewl friends who hadn't tried teppanyaki b4.. so there i was with my friends.. and they asked me some typical questions when they're trying something new.. u kno.. like.. whats this food taste like?? how do you eat it?? etc. etc.. and i was so dumb.. i was like.. uh.. i dunno.. how do u hold chopsticks?? uh.. i dunno.. what do u mean u dun kno how to hold chopsticks?? ur chinese.. and ur.. uh holding chopsticks!!! haha.. i'm such a loser..

and then theres also.. oh.. sometimes they do these really kewl tricks that the chef guy sometimes does with your food.. oh really?? like what.. um.. they like uh.. u kno.. um.. do that burning thing.. burning thing?? what do u mean?? they burn your food?? ... yeah u kno.. they like burn it.. wait.. no.. whats it called.. whats what called??... they like.uh.i forget what its called.. torch ur food??set it on fire.. oh oh yeah.. thats it.. they set ur food on fire..

and to top it all of.. we went to see constantine rite.. and for those who've seen it.. theres a scene at the beggining where it shows these two guys in mexico.. and i dun what was wrong with me.. maybe it was the tiredness... or the extremely alcoholic strawberry daquiri @ taste of japan.. but i was sitting there looking at the screen.. and i said really loudly.. OMG what did happened to mexico?? and everybody at the theatre is just looking at me really weirdly.. i guess it doesn't make much sense.. but let me explain.. the scene shows this dilapidated town.. kinda.. like 2 poles and 2 crosses.. the building has like fallen apart. and all it says @ the bottom of the screen is "mexico".. so i'm like what happened to mexico? OMG is that what mexico looks like in the future?? and my friends are like.. uh.. sindy.. i think they mean just a part of mexico.. and i was like.. uh.. OH.. woops.. lets just say.. ppl @ the movies thought i was like psycho or something..

and for those who have seen constantine.. you'll kno that the movie is quite confusing.. and it doesn't really explain much.. so the whole entire movie.. i'm like huh?? what?? why did he die?? or like?? what happened to gabriel?? huh?? is he like in hell or something??

so yeah.. i spent my friday nite being a very ditzy dumb chinese gurl.. i will say that.. according to my high skewl friends.. i should have been born a blonde.. cuz i'm not exactly the brightest crayon in the box.. hehe

:P

ah.. its been a good few days so far since coming home from windsor...

friday: hung out with jo.. went to pacific.. went to mikes.. played some poker with ppl.. man i missed hanging out with ppl.. especially since some of them i dunt normally hang out with.. lots o fun :) got to see jess lam.. hadn't seen her in a long time too..


saturday: slept till like 4pm.. haha.. such a pig.. i hadn't shoveled the snow since i got back.. nor had it been shoveled since my parents left.. woopsee.. so matt came over and helped me:) yeah.. how is it, it took him only 20 mins to do my whole driveway when it normally takes 3 ppl 1hr to do it?? huh?? wuts going on there?? then went to korean bbq with d chris and matt.. haha.. now you're devirginized .. hehe.. glad u had fun.. mini golf.. haha.. i beat u all !!! wohoo!!! even tho we all cheated really bad.. except chris. ever so honest.. then demetres!!! woohoo.. i luv that place.. hmm strawberry waffles!!!

sunday: didn't up getting home like 2am .. so slept till like 11.. sorrie mcbc ppl.. missed seeing u guys b4 u all went back to skewl. my bad.. i promise i'll see u guys soon :)
had lunch with my aunt .... got to chat with her for a while.. yea :)
i miss having good chats

monday:didn't do much once again.. didn't wake up till 2pm.. was planing on not waking up till even later.. if not for a stupid visitor.. urgh.. y some ppl just wont give up.. and now i have a damn 2nd degree burn on my hand..
frig.. wont stop calling.. wont stop showing up.. wont stop messin up my life.. GIVE UP ALREADY!!!! geez..
went to medical centre to get burned checked out.. got oil change on my car.. and just hung out @ home..
went to have night snack with Cy.. happy 19th birthday.. boo urns.. all the english dessert places were closed.. :( oh well.. went to go for tea.. had a nice lil chat.. thanx.. haha.. ur still watching tv @ my house while i'm typin this :P

my plans for the rest of the week
tuesday: going to watch constantine with the windsor gurls.. just hanging out :)

wednesday: not much so far

thursday: possibly girls nite out with krystle and d

friday: gonna attempt to start on my ethics paper.. hmmm.. lets see if that actually ends up happening..

saturday: more working on paper.. maybe get together with some ppl..

sunday: leaving around 3ish for windsor.. the end of my reading week...

but i think i'm prolly coming home again in mid march.. :)